Words of Despair

"The Mystery of Rose Petal Manor" - Chapter 5

Fri, 29 May 2009 12:29:00 GMT

Feel free to kill me for never updating this fic. I actually like this one xD
Also, as "Lovin' You" is finished it will now be locked.

Chapter 5

Yunho couldn’t tell if he was about to piss his pants because he was so excited, or so scared. Maybe it was a mix of both. All he knew was that Jae had better hurry up and find him soon, or he would be in for some severe punishment for making him wait so long. Not like that was a bad thing...

Lying flat on his back on the small bed, Yunho squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, blinking rapidly in an effort to adjust his eyes to the pitch blackness of the room. From what he could see, he couldn’t recognise the room at all; which was weird. He thought he had explored every room in the house. This one seemed to be left in its original condition; peeling pale pink wallpaper and lace curtains, dusty cupboards lined with dolls and other girly trinkets. What freaked him out the most was the abundance of dolls, all different shapes and sizes, but all wearing pale pink dresses.

Yunho shook his head, trying to rid himself of the image of the girl from the photos; the supposed ghost. He tried focusing on happier thoughts, like what Jaejoong was going to do to him when he found him. Just when he broke out into a cheesy smile the bedroom door opened.

“Jaejoong?” Yunho asked hopefully, sitting up. He was not able to see who it was through the darkness across the room.

“Shhh...” was the only reply he got.

“I’ve been waiting for you for so long BooJae, I’ve been so scared in here by myself, in this creepy room, so dark and-”

“Shhh...”

The bed groaned under the added weight as Yunho was straddled and pinned down.

“Close your eyes...”

Yunho did as he was told, unable to stop the small groan that had been begging to fall from his lips. The wait was definitely worth it. The mystery of the whole situation was really turning him on. Maybe Jae should blindfold him...

Instead of voicing his suggestions, Yunho decided to lay back and let Jae have his way with him, which he always knew was the best fun.

He started by pulling off his shirt, placing soft kisses up and down Yunho’s chiselled torso. As he did this he unbuttoned Yunho’s pants, Yunho reaching down to help remove the last of his clothing.

Yunho wanted to keep his eyes closed, but he needed to open them to help remove Jae’s clothing, if he wanted things to move along at a faster pace. Before he could do anything, he was pinned down harshly again, a husky “Don’t move.” whispered in his ear before the form in front of him started taking off his clothes.

Something didn’t feel right.

“Jae, baby, let me help you-”
“Keep your eyes closed,” snapped the person on top of Yunho.

Frowning, Yunho opened his eyes. Jaejoong would never talk to him like that.

The sickening feeling that had been forming in his stomach ever since the person that was now straddling him entered the room should have let Yunho know that something wasn’t quite right.

Instead of now looking at the beautiful naked form of his lover on top of him, he was met with the bare, sweaty form of his youngest band mate.

“Oh my god, Changmin! Get off of me!”

“No, you know you want this,” Changmin panted, struggling to keep Yunho pinned underneath him. Both men were equally strong, but they had never had a chance to fight it out and see who would win. To Yunho’s dismay, Changmin was winning.

Yunho continued to struggle as Changmin used the rest of his body to pin him down; their lower halves meeting and causing him to groan.

“Please, Changmin, let’s talk about this...” Yunho gasped, trying futilely to get the younger man off of him.

His eyes widened as he saw what his dongsaeng was planning to do.

“No, Changmin, you’ll hurt yourself, please don’t,” Yunho cried as his dongsaeng lowered himself onto his hard length.

**

Jae had gone back to the lounge room as Changmin suggested and quickly fallen asleep on the dilapidated couch. When he woke up the next morning, he saw three of his dongsaengs soundly sleeping on the floor beside him, but no Yunho.

Several situations were playing out in Jaejoong’s head. None of them were going to end well. Either Yunho was really trying to scare Jaejoong and the others, or something bad had happened to him. The eldest was hoping that he had been waiting for him somewhere and simply fallen asleep, and would perhaps turn up at breakfast.

Getting up quietly so as to not disturb the other sleeping boys, Jaejoong decided to go downstairs and see if he could salvage anything from the no longer working fridge to make some breakfast.

He sighed heavily as he made his way lazily down two flights of stairs, turning to his right and moving through the dining room to the old fashioned kitchen.

Mind occupied by what he could make for breakfast to entice Yunho out from hiding, and trying not to worry too much, Jaejoong did not notice the puddle of blood until he slipped and fell backwards.

Jaejoong landed on his back with a thud and a groan, sighing heavily before grabbing the side of the bench to try and help himself up.

“Aish!” He slipped again, unable to get a grip on the floor.

“Who the hell spilt...” Jaejoong’s words trailed off and he paled in horror as he brought his hands in front of his face. Blood.

He scrambled backwards, hastily wiping his hands on his pants and leaning back against the fridge.

His heart beating a million times per minute, Jaejoong didn’t know what to do. He looked back to the puddle of blood, now smeared across the floor as a result of him slipping in it. It was then that he noticed it was not just one solitary puddle.

There was a long trail, thick and half-dried, seeping into the linoleum and splashing up onto the walls, leading all the way to the closed pantry door.

“No...” gasped Jaejoong. “Yunho!”

He leapt forward, careful of the blood as he flung the pantry door open.

His piercing scream rang throughout the confined space of the pantry as his eyes were met with a sight he never wanted to see.

His lover, his Yunho, lifeless and grey, propped up against the wall. A large kitchen knife protruding disturbingly from his chest, his skin cut open and his insides spilling out like he was some slaughtered animal.

“No, no, Yunho...” he sobbed as he flung himself at the corpse, trying futilely to wake him up. He knew he was dead, but he couldn’t stop himself from trying.

It was her. It was the ghost. She did this!

He pulled out the knife quickly, not able to stand the sight of it in Yunho anymore. Hearing the sounds of footsteps rapidly approaching, he tossed the knife to the ground and tried to collect himself.

He couldn’t let them see this.

“Hyung?” Jae recognised Junsu’s shrill voice as he entered the kitchen.

“Oh my god, why is there blood everywhere?” he shrieked as he saw the eldest step out of the pantry.

Jaejoong just couldn’t look him in the eyes. He noticed a nervous looking Yoochun standing behind Junsu, and Changmin standing at the door, just as confused and alarmed.

“Yunho’s...he’s...”

He couldn’t bring himself to say it. He collapsed to the ground with a sob, wailing for his lost lover as he motioned with one arm towards the pantry. They would have to see for themselves.

Looking from his boyfriend to Changmin, Junsu takes a nervous step forward, knowing he won’t like what’s behind the door.

It only takes a glimpse to make Junsu throw up, what little food he had eaten yesterday making it’s way onto the kitchen floor at the sight of his dead leader.

“Hyung,” he says shakily, taking Jaejoong by the hand and lifting him up. “We need to get out of here.”

The eldest nods numbly, letting his dongsaeng pull him outside. He couldn’t really hear anything, not really see anything with the grotesque image of his dead lover burned into his retina. That was something he would never forget.

So many thoughts were running through his mind but they were all brought to a standstill by the screams of the youngest.

“Come back!”

Junsu had dragged him through the back door of the kitchen, into the freezing yard, where the snow that had been steadily falling all morning was forming a thick layer, covering everything.

Jaejoong could see Yoochun stop at the back door warily, watching as Changmin followed them out into the snow, waving his arms frantically.

Junsu stopped, wrapping Jaejoong tighter in his arms to fight off the cold, and waited for the magnae to approach them.

“Please, you guys, you can’t stay out here, come back inside.” Changmin puffed. He rubbed his hands together, the friction creating well needed warmth.

“How can you say that Changmin? We need to get out of here as soon as possible. Something unexplainable is happening in there!” Junsu sobbed.

Jaejoong pulled himself tighter into Junsu’s embrace, beginning to weep softly.

“I know that.” Changmin stressed, frustrated. “But we need to be smart about this. Come back inside. The weather is horrible and you won’t make it very far.”

Junsu faltered, knowing Changmin was right. He sighed, stroking Jaejoong’s hair and nodding to his dongsaeng.

“Come on, hyung. He’s right. Let’s go back inside.”

“No!” Jaejoong wept. He let go of Junsu, wiping his eyes and looking at his band members in frustration.

“Do you not care what happen to Yunho! He’s dead, he’s dead!” he sobbed, falling to his knees.

Junsu looked meaningfully at Changmin. Junsu knew that now Yunho was dead, Changmin would be the only one who could have any influence over Jaejoong.

He patted Changmin on the shoulder, taking one last look at the shattered Jaejoong before trudging through the snow back to the house. Looking at Yoochun still standing in the doorway, he felt a pang in his heart. He felt sorry for his hyung, he really did. He would be worse if he lost Yoochun. As much as he wanted to get out of this stupid house, he needed to be level headed. They needed to be smart if they didn’t want to end up like Yunho. They needed to work together, and figure this out. He hoped Changmin would talk sense into the eldest.

“You want me to go back in there? To the place where Yunho’s dead body is?” Jaejoong cried.

He didn’t want to go back into that house. It meant knowing that his love was gone. Knowing that it was real. If he ran away now, maybe he would wake up tomorrow and find out it was all a dream. He would wake up and they would be in their old apartment in the city, never having made the stupid decision to come to Rose Petal Manor.

Turning his back to Changmin, Jaejoong wrapped his arms around himself, shaking the snow out of his hair and marching out into the whiteness.

“Please, hyung. Just come back inside...” Changmin tried futilely. To be honest, he was scared. Shit scared. Just as scared as he knew the rest of the band was. Yunho meant so much to him. To think that he was dead...

Jaejoong stopped in his tracks. He had been so consumed by fear and disbelief he had forgotten some vital things.

“Why do you want me to go back inside so much?” he shouted back at Changmin.

Changmin looked confused.

Yeah, that’s right. Jaejoong thought.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but I sent you to look for Yunho last night! You said you’d find him! And you’ve been having weird dreams and it was all your fault we got stuck in that damn room in the first place. What is happening to you?”

Seeing the hurt in the magnae’s eyes made Jaejoong immediately regret what he said. Did he just accuse Changmin?

Changmin choked on his words. He didn’t know. He didn’t know. “What are you suggesting hyung?”

Jaejoong faltered. “Never mind.” His mind was made up. “Let’s go back inside.” Yunho’s death would not be in vain. He would get to the bottom of this mystery.

"Under" - Chapter 11

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 01:11:40 GMT

It's been a long time, I'm sorry. Sometimes I feel like writing, most of the time I don't.
Please comment, it's encouraging.

Chapter 11

Yoochun sat watching, hand grasped tightly around his own member as he watched Junsu’s skilful tongue at work. The vampire under him, Hyukjae, bucked his hips in delight and mewled in pleasure.

“I hate to interrupt...” drawled Jaejoong from the door of the bedroom. He was almost hard himself but couldn’t wait any longer; he needed to talk to Junsu now and this was the first time he had been able to find him since a few nights ago.

Junsu pulled away from the other two, smiling widely as he stood up and walked past Jae into the hall. Jaejoong threw Yoochun and Hyukjae an apologetic glance before turning around to follow Junsu who had already headed off down the hall.

“What do you want?” Junsu called over his shoulder, taking a few more steps before stopping by a door, gesturing with his eyes for Jaejoong to step inside.

Once inside he found Junsu sitting comfortably in a large plush armchair, arms and legs crossed and a smirk upon his face.

“Is this about Eeteuk?” he asked quietly, watching as Jaejoong sauntered over to a large cabinet containing old glassware.

“Yes, it is. I need you to tell me...” Jae paused before opening a dusty bottle and taking a tentative sniff. “What he got up to when I was...away...”

Junsu knew that this was what Jae wanted. He wanted to return to the top, regain his power. Didn’t he know that Eeteuk was the one who got him out of the way in the first place? Everything in their plan was coming together. They all thought that Yunho had forgotten about Jae. When you have so much time it is easy to forget someone. They were obviously wrong.

“I can’t help but feel that you are betraying me, Junsu. I don’t like it when people betray me.” He took a swig from the bottle, scrunching his face up in distaste before placing it back in the cupboard.

Junsu shot to his feet, eyes blazing. “I have been around just as long as you, Jaejoong. Eeteuk turned me, you know that!” He moved closer to the other vampire, gloved hands curling into angry fists.

“That has nothing to do with it Junsu, and you know it. I trusted you. I trusted all of you. The only one who remained loyal was Yunho!”

“Bullshit! I know the reason he brought you back here Jaejoong, I know! I knew he was a bad idea from the start but you never listen to me, do you?” Junsu spat furiously.
Before Jaejoong could open his mouth again Junsu was gone, disappeared into the shadows.

~*~

“Alright, everyone. Listen up.” Eeteuk stood in the middle of the shaded courtyard, his usual grand attire replaced with slimline black clothing, his hair tied back and bright eyes shining.

“Tonight we have a very special target.”

This seemed to get the attention of the younger vampires, the ones who had no experience. The ones who were only going on the mission (hunts they used to call them) for the glory and boasting afterwards.

They had been told that in the olden days these events were held for survival. It was understood by the mortals that it would happen, that every once in a while someone would be taken. They respected the vampires.

Nowadays the vampires were perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. There were no such things as understandings with mortals, for the vampire kind had become a novelty to them. Mortals were only dealt with via business transactions.

That is why now they only went on a hunt for work. The vampires had maintained their vast wealth and furthered it by selling their services. They would hunt down and kill anyone required, for a fee. What job could be better?

Eeteuk was soon surrounded by leather clad underlings, attentive and ready to serve. He smiled as he thought of the power he wielded, the things he could do and would accomplish on this simple night.

Tonight his plan would be complete, he would be rid of Jaejoong forever. He knew he would come back eventually, and all those years he had been enjoying his reign there had been that thought in the back of his mind. He knew that Jae would not give up without a fight.

They did have a job tonight, a good old fashioned hunt, but those in the know knew that tonight would be the night when they would turn on one of their own.

Eeteuk looked over to Junsu, who stood by Yoochun with a worried look on his face. Jae was his friend; and as much as he respected Eeteuk and his wishes, he was scared for them both. All day he had been fighting an internal battle. He knew Eeteuk’s plans and knew that if he went along with them he would be betraying Jae and the people he loved. He didn’t know what to do.

Eeteuk planned to destroy Jaejoong, banish his soul and kill the undead prince once and for all. Once he was in complete power, Eeteuk planned to make Junsu second in command, give him more power than he had ever dreamed of. He would teach him things he had never even heard about.

Don’t worry, I have everything under control.

Junsu smiled weakly back at Eeteuk as he watched everyone head for the gates of the courtyard. He watched Yunho and Jaejoong chatting as they strode across the lawn, probably talking about Changmin.

He didn’t know what to do. Stay loyal to the vampire that had created him, made him what he was now? The one who could give him more power than he ever dreamed of, or stay loyal to the ones who he had grown to love and care for, his real companions?

He had to warn Jae to be careful tonight. For all his power, Junsu could see that Jaejoong had become soft, playing around with humans and not taking the threats of Eeteuk seriously. Junsu knew that tonight was not just about getting Jaejoong out of Eeteuk’s way. It was about something much more.

"Punishment" One-shot.

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:21:51 GMT

Title: Punishment
Pairing: YooSu
Kink: Toys
Summary: Uhm... no plot just something I wrote for the sm kink meme!

So I know I've been missing for sometime, and this isn't even something I wrote recently, but I am getting back into writing, slowly. I have to re-read my own fics >.<

"Please, Yoochun, just fuck me," Junsu begged, naked body bucking up towards his captor, his cock straining against his stomach. Yoochun simply grinned devilishly, slowly undressing himself, watching as Junsu's eyes followed his every movement.

"This is your punishment, Susu. Teasing me all day..."

Clothes removed, Yoochun ground his hips down against the younger male's, eliciting a
desperate moan from Junsu as their erections met. He leant back slightly, tracing his
hand up and down Junsu's sweaty chest, licking his lips in anticipation as his hand
neared its goal destination. He smirked as his hand teased up and down Junsu's hot shaft, then down again to the cock ring that was denying his release, laughing as Junsu let out a groan that sounded almost painful.

"Fuck, Chunnie, I've had enough! Please take it off!"

"We're just getting started baby,"

With those words Yoochun lay a fleeting kiss to Junsu's hip bone before taking the
head of his dripping cock in his mouth, sucking the precum off and teasing with his
tongue.

"Oh...fuck," Junsu cursed, panting as Yoochun continued the assault with his tongue.
The older man took his time, teasing Junsu as much as he could. Paying him back for
all the times he had ever looked at him sideways, ever made him have dirty thoughts
that he couldn't fulfil in real life.

Yoochun pulled away suddenly, reaching beside the couch and taking the sizeable
vibrator in his hand.

"Chunnie..." Junsu said warningly, trying to sit up, trying to reach down and take
off the cockring but all his attempts were futile.

"No, Susu, I'm going to fuck you rough and hard with this and you're going to like
it." Yoochun spat. "Tell me what you want me to do..."

"Fuck me, Chunnie... just...anything...inside me!"

Junsu squirmed under Yoochun's touch, under his scrutinising glare as he offered the

vibrator to Junsu's mouth.

"Suck it."

Junsu took the toy in his mouth, curling his tongue around it before it plunged past
his lips and he sucked it in preparation.

"Change of plans..." Yoochun said, breathing heavily. "I want to see you fuck yourself with it."

The thought almost made him come on the spot, and the sight of Junsu's face scrunched
in pain as the thick toy thrust into his un-stretched hole didn't help either.

A thin sheen of sweat cover both of their bodies as Junsu lay back on the couch, rocking his hips up into the vibrator that was sending pulses of pleasure up and down his body.

Yoochun watched as he pumped it in and out, every now and then Junsu would stop as he body would shake in pleasure. He moved in vain, faster and faster as he tried to reach his climax.

Leaning down, Yoochun pushed the vibrator in to the hilt, slapping Junsu’s ass lightly before moving away.

“Get up,” Yoochun instructed, and gasping, Junsu complied.

He pushed his front against the wall, spreading his legs and ripped the vibrator from his ass, causing Junsu to scream and push backwards.

“Chunnie, fuck me, now! I want your cock inside me, please...”

“Hmmm, I don’t think so, Su.”

Yoochun merely pushed Junsu harder against the wall, and watched Junsu’s face contort in pleasure as he slowly inched the vibrator back inside of him. Once inside he gave a tweak to Junsu’s furiously hard cock, and started to move it in and out slowly.

“Talk dirty to me, Su baby...” Yoochun groaned. “Do you like being bent over and fucked in the ass with a vibrator, Su?”

“Ohh... yesss...” Junsu moaned, moving his body back in time with Yoochun’s thrusts. “It feels so good, but not as good as your cock inside me Chunnie... ungh I want it so bad...”

Yoochun groaned, still desperately trying to hold off his climax. He knew that if he came he would be hard again straight away anyway.

“Ahh... harder!” Junsu shouted. “Fuck... deeper, I-oh...”

Junsu looked back over his shoulder, watching as Yoochun pumped the vibrator in and out of his burning hole. “Ohh Chunnie, I wanna come inside you...”

“You need your punishment first, you slut,”

Junsu licked his lips, trying to form sentences in his tired mind.

“F-Faster...I-” but instead he whimpered as the vibrator was ripped from him again.

“Turn around.”

Junsu could barely catch his breath before Yoochun forced his legs around his waist, and threw both of their bodies against the wall.

“I...w-want... uh....” Junsu couldn’t say anything as he was pounded against the wall, this time by Yoochun’s hard cock and furiously moving hips.

“Just a little...more...” Yoochun breathed out, leaning down to lick the sweat off of Junsu’s neck. With one more thrust he came hard, pulling out and watching as Junsu collapsed down on to the ground.

“No, Su... in me, now!”

He moved to the arm of the couch, pulling Junsu up with him bending over to give him better access.

“Come in me...”

Yoochun reached over and unfastened the cock ring. Seconds later Junsu was free, and with one harsh thrust into Yoochun that left him screaming, Junsu came, filling Yoochun’s ass and collapsing onto his back.

"The Mystery of Rose Petal Manor" - Chapter 4

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 01:23:28 GMT

Holy shit I updated this fic. It's been 6 months. SORRY.

Chapter 4 - Hide and Seek

“That’s it. Yoochun, we are leaving. Now. I’m leaving and you are coming with me!” Junsu screamed hysterically. “I knew there was something going on with this creepy house!”

Yoochun slowly placed the laptop back on the desk as Yunho and Jaejoong stood up, trying to calm Junsu down.

“It’s ok Su, we’ll leave, just calm down.” Yunho, ever the leader, said. “Just pack up all your stuff and we’ll get someone to come and get us in the morning,”

“No, Yunho I want to leave now! And how are we supposed to ring for help when none of the phones are working?”

Yunho could see tears forming in Junsu’s eyes and so he moved across the room to him with a sigh. “Trust me,” he said quietly, pulling Junsu into a brotherly embrace. Yoochun and Jaejoong looked on, exchanging wary glances. Neither were that scared or anxious to get out but they knew they needed to for Junsu’s sake. To calm him down, to appease his mind.

Jaejoong pulled out his phone again, dialling a number and holding it against his ear before sliding it shut in frustration. “Still no signal,”

“Give me that,” Yoochun snapped, taking the phone from Jaejoong, convinced that it was merely the eldest’s stupidity that was preventing him from getting a call through. Jaejoong glared at Yoochun but slapped his phone into the younger man’s palm, turning around and crossing his arms to watch as Yunho ushered Junsu across the room.

“Go and see if the car is working!” he called out to them. He didn’t want to say anymore - he was slightly frazzled by the supposed ghost in his pictures - but he had a feeling that if their phones weren’t working that their car wouldn’t work either. He didn’t want to believe it let alone think it - but if there was a ghost in the house then he had no idea what it was capable of.

He frowned as he looked over to Changmin who was still standing by the couch with a blank expression on his face, looking into the distance. “Min!” he called out, hoping to startle the boy out of his trance.

This got Yoochun’s attention, who, cursing, hastily handed Jaejoong back his phone and then also turned his attention to Changmin.

“Guys...” came a worried call from Yunho. “I can’t open the door.”

Loud bashing noises and gasps and sobs could be heard from Junsu, who was clawing at the door, trying with all his might to open it.

“Junsu!” Yoochun called, giving Changmin one last look before he jogged across the room to his lover. “Baby, calm down,”

As Yoochun took Junsu in his arms, he pushed Yunho back towards Jaejoong, who had now moved in front of Changmin, staring straight into his eyes. He clicked his fingers, waved his hand but nothing would get a response out of the youngest singer.

“Something is really going wrong here Jae,” Yunho said as he stood next to the eldest and lightly poked Changmin on the shoulder. He lowered his voice slightly, glancing over to where he could see Yoochun rocking Junsu back and forth in his arms, whispering words between soft kisses to his forehead.

“I don’t want to freak Junsu out any more but I think something’s happened to Changmin,” He looked at Jae who nodded in agreement. “Last time the door wouldn’t open he was like this...”

Jae sighed, looking around the room and at Yoochun and Junsu, thinking. “What made the door open last time?”

“I don’t know, Jae! It was when he ran towards it, it just flung open like magic!” Yunho shouted, exasperated. “Look, it’s getting dark already, we have no firewood, no blankets, and I don’t think there’s any electricity in this room. We need to figure this out, soon!”

By now Yoochun had calmed Junsu down, and they had both walked over to have a look at Changmin. “What’s with him?” Junsu asked shakily.

“Uh... nothing, Su. He’s just being stupid.” Jaejoong sent Yoochun a meaningful look. “Right Minnie?” he asked loudly, shoving Changmin, hoping that some kind of physical disturbance would snap Changmin out of his trance.

“He...” Junsu started, looking as if he was thinking hard about something. “He was acting weird today...” he trailed off, looking at Yoochun for both conformation and help.

“Uh, yeah,” Yoochun said, resting his chin on Junsu’s shoulder. “He went to bed right after we got out of here and then when you guys went missing, we went to find him. He was sleeping soundly and then all of a sudden he like... convulsed and started saying something about roses. So Junsu shook him awake. He said he had a bad dream and didn’t remember what happened this morning. Then he just leapt out of bed, told us he loved us and ran in here and found you two in that room...”

Jaejoong frowned, not liking what he heard. Something bad was definitely happening to Changmin, and he had a feeling it was this house, and the girl he saw outside and in their pictures. He needed to bring Changmin back to reality now, so they could all get out of this stupid house and never come back.

“Changmin!” Jaejoong screamed at the top of his lungs, slapping his dongsaeng square in the face. There was no reaction from the youngest; not even a flinch.

Jaejoong moved in closer, grasping Changmin’s face with his hands and looking into his eyes, as if some clue was there. He stopped suddenly, listening as he heard words fall from Changmin’s mouth as his lips remained still.

“Hyung...help me...”

Not wanting to alarm the others, Jaejoong leaned in to whisper in Changmin’s ear. “Tell me what I have to do Minnie...”

Jaejoong got not reply and with a frustrated sigh, went back to poking and prodding around Changmin’s body for some kind of reaction. Then it hit him. As he saw a single tear form in Changmin’s eye, slowly breaking free and begin to roll down his cheek, Jaejoong lent in, caressing his dongsaeng’s face and placing a forceful kiss to his unmoving lips.

Almost immediately Jaejoong could feel Changmin react, his body coming to life as he gasped for air. Wanting to take full advantage of the moment the eldest sneakily snuck his tongue into Min’s mouth, really getting a reaction out of him. Jaejoong smiled into the kiss, teasing as he felt Changmin’s hands push at his shoulders.

“Hyung!” he gasped, stepping away with a guilty look. “Thankyou...”

Jae turned around with a triumphant grin to find the rest of his band members staring with mouths hanging open. “There.” he said, patting Junsu on the shoulder. “Problem should be solved. Let’s get out of here.”

He turned to make his way to the door but was stopped by Yunho’s hand on his shoulder and Changmin’s words.

“Wait...” the youngest one said, sniffling through the few tears that had squeezed themselves out and down his face. “I don’t understand...”

“Don’t worry Min,” Yunho said, taking Jae’s hand in his. “We’ll talk about it later. Let’s just go.”

**

Almost an hour later Dong Bang Shin Ki had wound up back in their least favourite room of their least favourite house. They had nowhere else to go; it was dark outside and their temperamental house had decided to shut off all of it’s power. The boys’ phones still had no signal and so they were reduced to camping out in front of the fire again.

Not much could be done to soothe Junsu’s nerves, he was still adamant that a ghost was coming to kill them all and would do so any second. He was none the wiser as to what had happened with Changmin and Yoochun spent every other minute with the cute singer latched onto his side, trying to convince him that everything was going to be ok and not to jump to conclusions. The girl in the pictures was probably a neighbour, the house was just old and needed repairs; and they most certainly were not going to die.

Changmin tried to make excuses and leave the others be to go to his own room, but Yunho and Jaejoong both agreed they wanted him where they could see him. And so Yoochun and Junsu ended up entangled on the floor on a pile of cushions and blankets; with a very awkward Changmin next to them with his own pillow and blanket, and Yunjae were left to the old couch.

They had no TV to entertain them tonight, and so it was not long before Yoochun, Junsu, and Changmin were all asleep, snoring happily. Yunho and Jaejoong however, had other plans. As soon as they saw that the three youngest were asleep, they stood up carefully, Yunho giggling quietly and Jae throwing him a meaningful look. He put a finger to his lips to signal to be quiet and then smiled devilishly before turning around towards the door.

Before he could make it he was flung around to face Yunho would moved in for a rough kiss. Jae slapped him as he broke free, signalling again to be quite before opening the door to the living room and lightly jogging down the hall before turning around to see Yunho close the door behind him.

“Come get me!” he giggled, sticking out his tongue. He took off down the dark hall with a burst of laughter, not looking back to see if Yunho was following. He ran towards the stairs, wanting to make it upstairs to one of the unused bedrooms before Yunho, so he would have to guess which one he was in and he could surprise him.

He made it to the fourth floor landing just in time to see Yunho come around the corner downstairs, laughing. He had to make a decision now. Hide in one of the rooms on this floor and risk getting caught, or take his chances and see if Yunho would continue up onto the fifth floor so he could chase after him and surprise him that way. Either way Jae didn’t mind, and so he quickly but silently ran into the room through the third door on the left, the unused room between his and Yoochun’s.

A creepy feeling hit him as he entered the room, but he brushed it off as “hide and seek” nerves. When he thought about it, Jae was going to miss this house, because even though it was very creepy he knew it had the potential to be a lot of fun. After waiting for roughly two minutes, Jae crept up to the door of the room and pressed his ear against it to check if the coast was clear. He could hear soft footsteps going down the hall, away from him. He opened the door just in time to see Yunho ascend the stairs to the fifth storey.

With a grin he closed the door, quickly shuffling up the hall and towards the stairs. No sign of Yunho yet. He couldn’t see him anywhere in the hall either, and there was no way he would have gone up into the attic alone. So this left Jae with the option of searching the rooms on the fifth floor for Yunho, or returning downstairs to his own room, where he knew Yunho would eventually come and find him.

After searching every room on the fifth floor up and down, Yunho was still nowhere in sight. He was positive he saw him come up here. Jae’s eyes shifted to the only place he hadn’t searched; the stairway leading up to the attic. There was no way he was going up there, not alone. Even if Yunho was up there.

“Yunho!” Jae called from the bottom of the stairs. “If you’re up there, come down now, there’s no way I am coming up there!” and then he turned back around to go back down stairs. For all he knew, Yunho was down there anyway.

MEANWHILE...

Changmin opened his eyes, stretching his arms and legs out and hitting the edge of the couch. “Sorry hyungs...” he murmured, sitting up. He needed a drink or something. With a yawn, he looked to his right, making a disgusted face as he saw that Yoochun and Junsu had moved further away from him, and were whispering to each other in between kisses. He turned to his left and noticed that Yunjae had gone one step further, and weren’t even in the room anymore. They had probably gone upstairs somewhere to get it on. Great, Changmin thought, well... at least they had the decency to do that, and to wait till they were all ‘asleep’.

He didn’t bother Yoosu with an explanation as to where he was going; they were to engrossed in themselves.

Out in the hall he was surprised to see a worried looking Jae coming down the stairs from the fourth floor. “Hyung, is everything okay?” Changmin asked, stopping Jae in his tracks.

“Yeah... I just... can’t find Yunho. You haven’t seen him have you?”

“No...” frowned Changmin. “What do you mean you can’t find him?”

Blushing, Jae stepped back and played with his hair nervously. “Well... we were kind of playing hide and seek... and I swear I saw him go upstairs but now I can’t find him.”

“Well, it is a big house hyung,” Changmin giggled. He was surprised they were playing games like this when a couple of hours ago they were just as anxious to get out of the house as everyone else.

“Uhm...are Yoochun and Junsu still asleep?” Jae asked.

“I don’t think they ever went to sleep... if you catch my drift,” Changmin said, blushing. “They wouldn’t have seen anything but each other.” he giggled.

“Right.” Jae said. He was starting to get worried. Yunho could really be missing... but he hoped he was just playing games with him. Even so, he was going to get the cold shoulder when he came back, for scaring him like this.

“Look, hyung, I’ll go look upstairs and you go back to the lounge room.” Changmin said, sensing Jae’s uneasiness. “If I can’t find him I’m sure he’s just messing with us. He’ll be back by morning.”

“Ok, thanks Min. He is going to get it when I find him,” Jae said, eyes wide, half worried, half angry.

Changmin didn’t want to tell Jae, but he knew where Yunho was.

Some short stuff...

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 05:59:24 GMT

So this is some stuff that’s been “collecting dust” on my computer. I haven’t even had time to finish writing other things, and these small - things - were begging to be posted. I dunno, just so you know I’m not dead. If you like any of them just shout out, and I may continue them. Cos I do kind of have plans for them all... just no time. And you can request stuff too, they just might be a couple of months in the making. When I finish high school. FOREVER. gahhh 8D

Untitled
Jaesu

"Blow me," are the words that tumble from Jaejoong's lips, smirk reflected in his band mates as he takes another drag from his cigarette.

Junsu doesn't know how long he has been waiting for this day and it comes down to this.

He thinks that the posters on his bedroom wall, his old bedroom wall, are of a different band than the four men he sees before him, gaunt and tired and dirty.

He nods numbly, walking towards the lead singer who is splayed out exhausted on the old couch backstage after a 2 hour set. He hadn't even expected to get past security.

He hadn't imagined it would come to this.

He had always dreamed of being in a band, of touring around the country with his friends and doing what he loved most - performing. He hadn’t thought it would be such hard work, hadn’t counted on his friends bailing and saying that he should grow up and stop dreaming.

“I’m waiting...” come the obnoxiously loud words, and Junsu knows he should act fast. This is what he wants. What he’s been working for.

He suddenly feels like he’s standing on a gigantic stage, with all the world watching him, the spotlight shining down on him burning through layers of skin and leaving him raw and bare.

He snaps back to reality and gets on his knees in front of the lithe singer, throwing back another tentative glance at the rest of the band he so idolises before reaching for the thick buckle of a belt holding up dirty jeans.

If this is what it takes to be in with the band, to just be around them and watch and observe, this is what he’ll do.

The one named Yunho clears his throat loud and purposefully, motioning for his friends called Yoochun and Changmin to follow him out of the room. Yoochun grimaces sourly, nods and follows as Junsu’s hand makes its way into Jaejoong’s pants. Changmin simply cocks an eyebrow, shaking his head and lighting up a cigarette before slumping down on the couch opposite, taking up a front row seat for the show about to begin.

Jaejoong groans loudly as Junsu takes him in his hand, wiggling on the couch as he closes his eyes and puts out the cigarette he had been smoking.

Junsu tries not to let his nervous sigh come out too loudly. In all honesty he has no idea what he’s doing - he’s never done this to another guy before. Never done anything with anyone. Ever.

Jaejoong shimmies out of his boxers, moving into the touch of Junsu’s soft hand on his cock.

He had a long day, putting up with bullshit from too many people. Yunho, the manager, that bitch that wouldn’t leave him alone when he was trying to buy fucking cigarettes. And then this cute little innocent boy gets in. He wants to be a roadie? No, a groupie? No, just someone that rides around with them, sees what happens backstage. Wants to see what it takes to be in such a successful band.

Fucking kid.

Right now, this is what it was going to cost. A messy inexperienced blow-job to calm his nerves and soothe his soul. He’ll have to get someone to teach him better for next time.

Changmin, perhaps?

He makes eye contact with their youngest band member as the kid tentatively takes him in his mouth, sucking, and damn, it actually doesn’t feel half bad.

====================

Untitled
Implied Changmin/someone

Leave me alone, you whisper to no one in particular. No one’s there, but you still take the precaution. Sitting up and swinging your legs over the side of the bed, you fumble around in the dark for the glasses that have become necessary at this point in your life; you wear them most of the time when there aren’t any cameras on you.

You take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart.

You feel him stir in the bed beside you, the gentle words Chang Min ah, are you alright? breaking the cold silence of the night.

Gentle, they were always so gentle. Gentle words, gentle hands, gentle looks. Why couldn’t they be harsh for once? Then you might believe what is happening to you.

Might understand why you feel this way.

It was there.

You could always feel it on the back of your neck, hairs stood up as you turned around again and again, tears of frustration rolling down your cheeks as you tried in vain to see what it was that haunted you from the corner of your eye.

You remember his disgusted words once, not concerned or comforting, but disgusted.

Fuck, Chang Min, stop doing that.

No one’s there.

====================

Last Night.
Jaemin

Changmin doesn’t know what to feel. All he knows is that he needs comfort. He needs some kind of warmth to cling onto. He had always hated feeling alone, hated being alone and scared. That was why he had taken to crawling into his hyung’s bed late at night, falling easily into Jaejoong’s arms as he comforted him into a restless sleep. He always trusted his hyung, always knew that he genuinely cared for him. He never feels weird accepting affection from him.

He wakes up in his usual position, legs tucked behind him and arms tight across his chest, facing the wall with Jaejoong’s body protectively shielding his. He doesn’t think anything is different for a moment but then in the back of his mind something tells him that this time it’s different. He can hear Jaejoong’s breath in his ears and it is hot against his neck. He tries to shift ever so slightly but feels Jaejoong’s hands tighten their grip on his waist. So he stops.

He takes a moment to listen to Jaejoong. To adjust his eyes to the darkness. All he can see is the weird shade of blue of the wallpaper, the way the light from the moon outside splays across it, casting odd shadows that dance and form a chilling picture, the kind that would have scared him if he was 9 again. He listens again, hears his hyung’s ragged breathing, the way he pants, small unintelligible noises coming from his mouth.

He tries to move again.

“Shhh...” Jaejoong soothes through his panting. “Changmin-ah...” he continues. “I had a dream about you...”

He’s never heard his hyung speak like this. He tenses and can feel his hyung’s hand on his thigh, rubbing gently and slowly. Suddenly the fear is like a bitter taste in his mouth; he swallows and it doesn’t go away. He doesn’t what to do. If there is anything he can do.

“Hyung, what are you-” Changmin tries to say but Jaejoong places his free hand over his mouth. He swallows again and still the taste won’t go away.

“Shhh, it’s okay, Changmin-ah...” Jaejoong soothes again. Changmin can feel his hyung’s hand creep up, up, up, reaching the top of his pyjama pants and then sliding underneath.

Changmin is paralysed with fear. Shocked. He can’t move. His hyung is touching him in places no one has before, and it’s wrong. Oh just so wrong. He doesn’t want this, but struggles to make the words form on his tongue.

He shivers slightly, as he hears the pleased moan from Jaejoong. He can feel his hyung’s body press against his, feel his erection press into his thigh. He wants to throw up, scream, yell, anything.

He still can’t move as he feels the tears forming in his eyes. He’s being used. He can feel his hyung stroke him slowly as he grinds into him from behind. He closes his eyes and waits, until he hears his name gasped again and Jaejoong comes, shuddering into a quiet orgasm and slipping his hands back to their position around Changmin’s waist, as if nothing ever happened.

If you’d only wake up...you’d know it was true.

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 17

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 00:10:05 GMT

A/N: Wow it's been a long time. Sorry! We're almost finished!
Please comment~

Chapter 17

It had been almost two weeks since Changmin came back from the hospital again, since we fought.

We had both grown closer to Yoochun and Junsu, and we weren’t afraid to show our emotions in a sexual way. We both knew that it was just the right thing to do with those two, and that they had been wanting it as well.

Changmin explained to me that he had a relationship with Junsu in the past, both physical and emotional, and told me that Junsu had always been a person to comfort another physically. They shared a deep understanding and weren’t afraid to share anything with each other, even if it meant their bodies.

We had not heard anything more about Yunho, and to be honest, I didn’t care. I wasn’t scared. As long as I had Changmin by my side I had nothing to worry about, and everything to be happy about, because every moment was spent with him. I was happy when he was happy, and vice versa.

We had decided that we didn’t want to burden Yoochun and Junsu anymore, and so we were taking a step forward and moving into our own apartment. Our apartment. It felt good to say those words. The new apartment was going to represent so many things for us. Our fresh start.

We both decided that our old apartments held too many bad memories for us. I had barely lived with Yunho in this new city for a month and it had been tarnished by my mess of a life. And well, the reason Changmin didn’t want to go back to his apartment was pretty obvious.

“Wow...” Changmin said in awe, keys dangling from his grasp as he stepped into the empty apartment. “It’s so... spacious!”

I chuckled lightly, walking in behind him and setting down my bag on the polished floors.

“I’m sure it’ll feel smaller once all our stuff fills it up,” I mused. He simply grinned at me pocketing the keys and holding out his arms for me.

Our new apartment was small, yet it was so open that it felt big and spacious. As soon as you entered the door there was the living and dining room, to the left through an opened arch doorway the bedroom and bathroom and to the right the kitchen and behind a closed door another smaller bedroom, which we would probably use as a study. Junsu had helped me find it on the internet.

I noticed a couple of boxes in the corner by the only window in the room and, breaking out of Changmin’s embrace, went over to see what they were. I knew Changmin had already been with Yoochun to his old apartment to get everything he wanted to bring with him here, but I hadn’t realised he had already brought them over.

“You already brought your stuff here?” I asked, cocking my head to the side as I lent down to inspect the boxes.

“No,” Changmin replied with a shy smile. “I got Yoochun to bring them over... I wanted to see the place for the first time, with you,”

“Aww, honey,” I cooed, standing up and taking him in my arms again. I placed a quick peck on his cheek, squealing as he pinched my ass.

“Ahh! Changmin-ah!”

I knew what he was thinking.

“Jae...let’s christen the apartment...” he breathed in my ear. His words and his warm breath sent shivers down my spine. This was what I was looking forward to, what Changmin had been teasing me with all morning.

“Has the bed been set up?” I half said, half gasped as I felt Changmin’s tongue around my ear and down my neck.

“We don’t need the bed,” he whispered. “I’m going to fuck you on every wall, floor and surface of this apartment.”

I closed my eyes, practically feeling my heart jump up my throat and out of my mouth. His words could get me so worked up.

I moaned as he continued to kiss up and down my neck, backing us against an empty wall as his hands fumbled over the buttons of my shirt.

I pulled him closer to me, closing my eyes as he pressed me into the wall and attacked my lips with his. I opened my mouth in a small gasp, allowing his tongue access as it danced sensuously with mine. By now he had my shirt off, and was working at the zipper of my jeans.

He broke the kiss, running his hands along my chest before replacing them with his tongue. I gasped and bucked into his touch, helping him out of his shirt as he pulled down my pants.

I shivered in delight as I watched him slowly slide down my boxers, touching my erection ever so lightly.

“Changmin-ah...” I gasped as he teasingly bit and licked around my hip bone, before slowly making his way down to where I wanted him to go.

“What do you want me to do Jaejoong-ah?” he asked, looking up at me with my cock grasped lightly in his hand. I could have come right then from the look in his eyes. So much lust. So much want. So much love.

“Oh...suck me...” I moaned, and he was more than happy to do as I said.

***

By the time we had finished our long love making session (in the living room, the hall, the bedroom, the bathroom...) we decided to start to unpack our things and actually make this our apartment. Our apartment.

Some of our furniture wouldn’t be arriving until tomorrow so I had plenty of time to help Changmin unpack his things and get to know them a bit better.

I smiled as I flipped through an old photo album of his, my eyes saddening a little when I noticed how old his family photos were. He obviously hadn’t seen them in a long time. They all looked happy; but then people in family photos usually do. No matter what might actually be happening in their lives.

I placed the album on the shelf in front of me as my stomach rumbled. I looked around and heard rustling from the kitchen. Changmin must be unpacking things in there.

“Wanna get some lunch honey?” I said checking the time on my phone. It was almost 1:30. The time had gone so quickly.

“Yeah!” I heard him call, and after some more rustling he stepped out into the living area of the apartment and gave me a peck on the cheeks.

“I was thinking Chinese take out...” he suggested.

“Hmmm, that sounds nice, but... how about this. I need to go and pick up some stuff from my old apartment. How about you go and buy some groceries, we’ll meet back here and I’ll cook us something nice?”

He smiled. “Sure, but make it quick, all that sex before made me hungry!”

I laughed, leaning in to place a soft kiss on his cheek before checking I had everything I needed and stepping out of the apartment.

***

It seemed too good to be true. It made me happy and annoyed at the same time. They looked so carefree. Had they forgotten me that easily? Had they moved on and forgotten what I did to them? They had forgotten threat I posed, what I was capable of doing. They wouldn’t forget it this time. Their time together was over. I was going to get Jaejoong back. Today.

I smirked as I saw him exit the apartment, Changmin doing the same not too soon after but heading in a different direction. This was perfect. I could get Changmin on his own.

I only felt slightly uneasy being in this part of town again. I hoped no one would recognise me. I took extra precaution as I followed Changmin down the street. I kept my head down and sunglasses on, I made sure I made eye contact with no one. I was on a mission.

I caught up to him so that I was only a few paces behind. I saw him round the corner and then step into a small supermarket. I would have to act quickly if I wanted to beat Jaejoong to the apartment.

I walked slowly down the dirty alley, glad that no one was in it, there was nothing but a few over flowing garbage bins and a stray cat. I stood on the damp wall opposite the mangled screen door that served as the entrance to the dingy store and waited. He would come out sooner or later. Hopefully alone and not suspecting a thing.

I waited, and come he did, hands full of plastic bags of groceries, one hand raised to shield his eyes from the glare of the midday sun. I moved forward, raising my chloroform soaked handkerchief and lunged, dragging him into the shadows. I smirked as he struggled, recognition flitting across his eyes before they closed and he fell limp in my arms.

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 16

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 07:19:15 GMT

A/N: Not much longer before this fic is finished! Then it will be my second ever finished fic. Eep. Some people may like this chapter, others may not, lol. Thanks to everyone who’s been commenting. ILU<3

Chapter 16

These days I didn’t know where my mind was. I just needed to focus on one thing, and that was to get him back.

That meant hiding, until I could get the chance to have him again. I was careful, too smart for the police. It had been about a week, I couldn’t really tell. I didn’t have time for television and the only time I had switched it on I was met with my own likeness splashed across the screen.

I was Wanted.

He was all I could think about, all I could focus on. He didn’t understand me anymore. I loved him...and he just didn’t see it. Everything I did was for him. Everything I did in my life up until this point was for him.

How could he do that to me? I cried, I cried and cried, until all I could do was sit on the floor of the dusty motel room and stare at the opposite wall.

He and Changmin had been together. My world almost fell apart when I found out. I knew I had to do something about it. I had decided to punish Changmin, and take Jae away. Finally show him how I really felt about him. Changmin deserved to die for taking my Jaejoong away from me.

I was going to get him back, no matter what it cost. So I had taken baby steps. Watched as Jae entered and exited Yoochun and Junsu’s apartment. Watched as he left the hospital. Watched as he took a walk down the street.

I had watched as Yoochun stepped out of his car, my blood curdling as Changmin followed him into their apartment building. He was supposed to be dead!

Well, I knew what I had done to him wouldn’t escape him so easily. Then there would be next time. Next time I would make sure I had finished the job properly. I would get Changmin, and I would get Jae, and I would not hold back.

***

So many people were asking me questions. In all the fuss of the last week, I had forgotten that there were other people in my world. Not just Yunho, Changmin, Yoochun, Junsu and myself. I had to deal with the calls from my mother, from the university, from my psychiatrist.

I didn’t want to talk to any of them, let alone explain what had happened. All they knew was that Yunho was wanted for rape, assault and attempted murder. You try explaining that to everyone you know. Try telling them that the person they thought they knew was a...monster.

And I couldn’t help but be paranoid. Every step I took I wondered if he was behind me, if he was going to show up with his handsome smile and loving words.

While he was still on the run Junsu and Yoochun said I wasn’t allowed to be alone, and I didn’t want to be. They were the ones who had dealt with the police most of the time for me, I had been questioned but that was all.

I had been in and out of the apartment a few times by myself, and every time I did so I had this strange feeling, like I was being watched. Maybe everyone was watching me. Maybe Yunho was out there, watching me.

I lifted myself off of the couch and over to the kitchen table were Junsu sat studying. I looked at his large pile of books, and smiled as I thought of what a good student he was. How diligently he worked, how he was going to become what he wanted and live a fulfilled life, with someone that loved him.

My thoughts shifted to Changmin who I had left asleep in my bed. He had crawled in last night, wrapping his arms around me from behind on my right side as I lay with Junsu and Yoochun on the left. We had all found comfort in each other, and their presence was the only thing that kept me going on these days.

I thought back to the kiss that Junsu and I shared last night, how warm it had felt, loving and pure. I knew he wanted to love and protect me, and I was willing to let him.

I picked up a random book of Junsu’s off of the table and started flipping through it, deciding to take it into my room to read and maybe see if Changmin felt like talking.

***

I woke to the sound of the bedroom door opening. With a groan I opened my eyes to see Jae tiptoeing across the carpeted floor to the bed with a book in hand. I sat up and smiled widely at him, motioning for him to join me under the covers.

“Changmin.” he said, abandoning the book on the floor and pulling up the covers and hopping in the bed. “You awake, sleepy head?”

I just grinned at him, hitting him playfully on the shoulder as he snuggled in closer to me.

“I feel really close to everyone here, now Changmin-ah,”

I closed my eyes and sighed, knowing that he wanted to talk. I still felt scared of my whole situation right now, but after last night, after our fight, I knew I had hurt him. When I walked into his room and saw him crying silently in the arms of Junsu and Yoochun, I knew that I had to stop.

I had to spend the time I had with him well. We had to move on, we had to forget. What happened would always be there in the back of my mind and I knew it would only be a matter of time before I felt the repercussions of my own actions and the actions of those around me.

I just wanted a shot at happiness and I knew that Jaejoong was finally ready to start a-new with me.

“Jaejoong...” I started, sitting up and pulling him into my arms. “I want to tell you something.” he simply nodded, showing that he was listening.

“You and me forever.” I looked straight into his eyes, smilingly warmly when I saw the love within them. “Do you know what that means?” He nodded, starting to open his mouth but I quickly silenced him with my hand.

“It means, that no matter what happens, and no matter where we go, all that matters is each other, and the fact that we love one another. That should be the first and foremost. Our love is the only thing that should ever matter. It doesn’t mean that we can’t be open to other people, to new experiences. But it does mean that I put your happiness first, you put my happiness first, and in doing that we guarantee both our and the people around us’ happiness.”

Jaejoong sat up slightly, and for a second I was worried that I had said something wrong.

“This is why I love you, Changmin.” he said, leaning forward and placing a warm kiss to my jaw. I pulled him closer, moaning happily as he let his hands trail up and down my naked chest, moving around to my back and eventually up to my hair so he could pull my head down for better access.

Our mouths met and I immediately delved my tongue into his mouth, seeking its moisture. I let it play around inside his mouth, resting my arms on his shoulders as his lips moved against mine. When I finally broke away to take a breath, I looked up to the doorway to see Yoochun and Junsu, both with wide knowing grins on their faces.

“Is it ok if we...?” I whispered into Jae’s ear, and the look in his eyes was answer enough.

He gave me one last meaningful look before getting up from the bed and dragging Junsu over. Yoochun followed and they all stopped at the side of the bed. I saw Jaejoong and Junsu’s eyes meet, I knew they both wanted this.

Junsu moved first, his hands coming to my lover’s shoulders, before caressing his neck gently and stopping to cup his face. He moved so gently, as if he knew that Jae was someone to go slow with, and take care of. When their lips met the desperation and longing could be seen; tongues lapping ferociously before Junsu pulled back and sucked on Jaejoong’s bottom lip, nibbling slightly before letting go and turning to look at Yoochun.

For a moment Jaejoong looked back at me hesitantly, but I was not going to protest. I knew he needed this. I knew he needed all of us to show how much we loved him.

“It’s ok,” I murmured, looking over at Junsu and Yoochun, who had both helped me through so many hard times.

I stood up, moving across the room to Yoochun with a kind of determination and taking his lips with mine. I had wanted to do it for such a long time. I kissed him sloppily but my gentle touches through his hair and up and down his back let him know that this was something meaningful to me.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Jae lay back down on the bed, Junsu slowly climbing on top of him as he removed his shirt. I let out a small moan in Yoochun’s mouth as I imagined all the things they would do to each other.

Before I could look over again, Yoochun also had me pinned against the bed, and I closed my eyes as I felt the blinding pleasure that his grinding hips brought. By this stage Junsu had Jae stripped completely naked, and despite their ragged breathing they were both moving rather slowly. I pushed my hand up against Yoochun’s chest, signalling him to stop for a moment as I watched my lover and my friend, soon to also be my lover I thought, discovering each other’s bodies.

I saw Jae writhe under Junsu’s touch. His body bucked upwards as Junsu teased up and down his chest with his tongue, placing light kisses and bites all over it. Jae had his eyes closed and head thrown to the side. His left arm lay by his side as his right hand gently caressed Junsu’s all the way from Junsu’s arm and up his neck, eventually pushing into his hair and bringing his mouth down for a sensual kiss.

I moaned again, looking up as I heard Yoochun release a large breath. I smiled at him, licking my lips and grinding my hips up into his.

Where Junsu and Jae were slow and caring, Yoochun and I were fast and needy. I knew it needed to be this way; this is what we both needed this time around.

Yoochun pulled me up into a sitting position so we could both remove our shirts, and he stood up for a moment as we both hastily removed our pants. We crashed back down onto the bed, and when I looked over I noticed that Junsu was now as naked as Jae.

The sight of Jae’s hard cock made my mouth water, and I shivered as I felt Yoochun’s hot breath in my ear. “Mmm... you love that, don’t you.”

He ground down into me again, the friction of our naked bodies causing me to cry out in pleasure loudly. It felt so good. I wanted him inside me badly, to make me feel good, to wipe away all my memories of pain.

Yoochun stopped his desperate movements for a moment, his body still against mine as he lovingly kissed my ear. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he breathed. “I mean, I’ll be the first one since-”

I cut him off with a quick kiss, a breathy “Yes,” and a roll of my hips. Yoochun smiled reassuringly before moving away slowly, gesturing with his head towards Jae and Junsu before getting off of the bed and walking to the small chest of drawers on the opposite side of the room.

As he left my attention reverted back to Junsu and Jaejoong. I absent mindedly grabbed for my hard length, pumping it slowly as I watched Jaejoong hiss with pain, Junsu’s fingers breaching him one by one.

Yoochun returned, lube in hand, but before he reached me he stopped by Junsu’s side, lovingly kissing up his neck to his ear, whispering what I’m sure were sweet words; I couldn’t hear them.

I watched him lean down and kiss Jaejoong briefly before he looked back up at me, and I could have come right then from the look in his eyes.

I know it sounds bad, maybe unfaithful but for the rest of the night my attention was focused on nobody but Yoochun. They way he moaned my name, the way he could make me scream his, the way he made me feel good.

I rocked against him as he pumped three fingers in and out of me, almost filling me but I knew I needed more.

“Yoochun ah... please...more, I need more of you...” I gasped out, holding tight onto his shoulders. I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer, and I needed him inside of me.

I groaned in frustration as he withdrew his fingers, but inhaled sharply as he thrust quickly inside of me, not wasting any time.

“God... Changmin... you’re so tight...”

I felt myself fall into a blissful state, not feeling anything but him inside of me, him on top of me and his warm breath washing over me. I knew I needed this, I knew we needed this, and I never felt better.

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 15

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:27:17 GMT

A/N: If I get more than 20 individual comments on this by tomorrow, I’ll post Chapter 16 then. And any questions you want answered? I might do that for y’all as well. If not...well... you’ll just have to wait until the mood so strikes me for the next update. :D

Chapter 15

“Why did you do it Changmin?”

I sat across from my boyfriend - not even knowing if I could call him that anymore - and tried not to breakdown crying as I thought about the last 24 hours.

He hadn’t lost as much blood as last time, but I refused - flat out refused - to have him in hospital for too long again. I wasn’t going to let him out of my sight. I wasn’t going to let him rot away in a hospital room as they ask him questions and poked and prodded. He was safer here with me.

But I needed to know. I needed to know why he thought he would be better off dead. Better off without me, without his friends. I held back a sob as I looked down, unable to meet his eyes. I couldn’t look at his blood shot eyes and pale skin. I couldn’t bare to look at the shadow of Changmin.

I needed to know why he put me through such hell, why he gave his friends the scare of their lives.

“Why did you?” he retorted, and I felt tears of pain and frustration coming to the surface.

“Don’t be like this with me, please, Changmin.” I said through the tears, trying to reach out for him across the lounge.

He pulled away, not angry, not annoyed, just... sad.

“What do you want me to tell you hyung?” he said quietly, too quietly. “You wouldn’t want the truth; you couldn’t deal with it. I don’t want to deal with the truth.”

I sighed. It felt like there was a constant pain pulling at my heart, it hurt so much to see him like this. “Changmin, I love you. I love you, that’s all you need to know!” I almost shouted. Being angry at him wasn’t going to fix anything.

“Don’t you understand hyung?” he said shakily, his eyes widening. “I’m scared.” he took another shaky breath. “I’m scared to be around you.”

I was shocked.

“Wouldn’t you rather die than be put through all of this?” he continued.

“No!” I sobbed. I had no idea what he was talking about. He was scared to be around me?

“Aren’t you afraid of dying?”

“I...I don’t understand Changmin, why, wh-”

“Yunho!”

That name made me freeze. I looked up at him through my tears, watching as his chest heaved and he waited for my reaction. I couldn’t say anything. Why did he have to say his name? Did he try to kill himself because of Yunho? It was all my fault. I brought all of this into his life...

“He wants to kill me Jae! He wants to kill you too, he-”

“Wanted! Changmin, WANTED!”

I hastily wiped the tears from my face, standing up as I felt the anger course through my body. How could he be doing this? We had been trying so hard...What was he trying to prove to me? Didn’t he remember what I had said to him?

With me it’s a new beginning. Leave behind all your worries and just focus on us. Tell me once so I know, and then just forget about it. Your life shouldn’t be ruled by the past.

We needed to forget, just move on and try to be happy together...

“He wants to kill-”

“NO, Changmin. He would never kill me...” I said bitterly, turning to leave the room. “He would never kill me, because he loves me.”

***

I watched with sad eyes as Jaejoong walked down the hall, and leant into the comfort of Yoochun’s body as his hand brushed across my chest and landed to rest on my waist. I felt like calling out to Jaejoong, wanting to comfort him, to say anything, but I didn’t know what I could do.

Yoochun and I had both heard the shouts.

Ever since I had known Jaejoong, really known him that is, I had just wanted to love him. Be able to comfort him and tell him that I understood and would always be there. I just wanted to tell him I was so sorry...

I stepped forward but turned back to look at Yoochun one last time. He smiled reassuringly and made to shoo me down the hall. I smiled and stuck out my tongue, telling him to go back to the bedroom.

I followed Jae into the spare room that had now become his, and watched as he sat on the edge of the bed lifelessly.

“Jaejoong...” I said, turning around to close the door.

“I understand, Junsu. I understand why, and that’s why it hurts so much,” he said, looking up at me now, reaching out for my arms.

I sat down next to him on the bed, sighing contentedly as he pulled me into his arms, pulling me tight against his body. He gripped me for support as he began to sob, letting everything out. This was the worst I had ever seen him.

“He’s scared Junsu. Scared of me, of Y-Yunho...” he spat through tears, shaking even harder against my smaller frame.

“Shh...” I soothed, hugging him back just as tight, running my fingers through his thin hair, resting my head on his shoulder.

He needed to know that I was there for him, to comfort him. He could talk all he wanted, but right now I felt it was better just to hold him, to have him hold me so he knows that someone is there. So he can feel warm and safe and loved.

“Am I not enough for him? He doesn’t love me!” he wailed, becoming more hysterical by the second.

“Jae, shh... just be quiet, calm down...” I heard the door to the room open, and turned my head to see Yoochun enter. Jae looked up too, smiling weakly through his tears.

“Yoochun ah...”

I moved away and watched on admiringly as Yoochun embraced Jaejoong, murmuring in his ear and soothing him with his touch. I sat back down, moving in between the two and giving Yoochun a meaningful look.

Thankyou, it said. Thankyou for being such a wonderful person, thankyou for understanding and always being there for me and everyone else. It said, I love you.

I turned back to Jaejoong, gasping as he pulled me close to him, murmuring in my ears. “Junsu-yah...I love you.”

“I love you too, Yoochun-ah” he said over my shoulder to Yoochun who moved closer, wrapping his arms around my waist under my arms and around Jaejoong’s waist.

I breathed in deeply, resting my head forwards on Jaejoong’s shoulder, resting my body back against Yoochun’s and just feeling so relaxed. I closed my eyes and changed my position so I could lean back further on Yoochun, opening my eyes and shifting to place a kiss on his cheek. I looked back at Jae, noticing the way he was looking at us. A certain something in his eyes.

I knew Yoochun could sense it too. I felt him shift away from me, so I got up onto my hands and knees on the bed, looking back at Yoochun one last time before moving forward and taking Jaejoong’s face in my hands. I leant forward and placed a gentle kiss to his lips, closing my eyes and trying to somehow, transfer my warmth, transfer all my love into his body.

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 14

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 04:52:05 GMT

A/N: Hey there. Long time no see. This is me trying to get my groove back and find inspiration for this fic again (I have a plan and know what happens but just don’t know how to write it! grrr) so I know it sucks.
Please comment as they really encourage me! I love all my readers~!

Chapter 14

I sat huddled on the couch in between my two friends, smiling to myself. They were so comforting, so caring and just so happy. I knew I had brought something dark into their lives and I was sorry for that. You couldn’t be happy with out being sad, right? No ups without the downs?

I sighed quietly, shifting on the seat, the question I had already asked a million times that day itching to be asked again.

“When is Chang Min coming home?”

“Not for a few more hours, hyung. Yoo Chun’s going to go pick him up, aren’t you?”

Jun Su smiled warmly at me as Yoo Chun nodded, his hand gently stroking up and down my arm in a comforting manner.

We had talked, talked until I couldn’t cry anymore, talked until there was nothing more to say. They knew everything there was to know about me, and now I knew about them, any problems they might have had.

I had come to love these people in such a short time. They had shown me that there are truly beautiful people in the world.

***

“Chang Min? It’s Yoo Chun, I’m here to take you back to our place.”

Yoo Chun walked in the room, talking to me as if I was some child. A child who didn’t understand what was happening to them.

“Hyung, I’m fine. Really. You don’t need to talk to me like that.” I snapped coldly, picking up my bag and swinging it over my shoulder, ignoring Yoo Chun’s slightly hurt look. “Let’s just go.”

I was glad Yoochun had finally come to pick me up. I would be staying with them. Going back to my place would be a little too much for me right now. I had insisted that I was stronger than that, but they insisted otherwise.

My body was still littered with scratches and bruises, but apart from that I had recovered significantly. I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone, but I knew I would have to at least explain what had happened to Jae and maybe Junsu and Yoochun. That was the least they deserved.

I was still apprehensive about Jae. I had been through a lot, but he had too. I had just tried to love him. Wasn’t I allowed to love someone in peace?

Junsu had told me what happened to him... that after Yunho had raped me he had gone to get Jae Joong. That he had tried to ... hurt him too. I hadn’t been there to protect him.

I wasn’t there to protect him when he needed me most.

***

“I taught him a lesson. Now it’s time for yours.”

I woke with a start from the bad dream, gulping in the cold air as I sat up and looked around. It was only late afternoon but the apartment was already dark. I could hear Junsu singing to himself in the kitchen and there was no sign of Yoochun which meant that he had gone to pick up Changmin.

Changmin...

He was coming home. I didn’t know if I should be happy or nervous. I should be happy for Changmin... my love was coming back to me. But him coming back wasn’t the end of things. He had been raped... raped by my ex-boyfriend. One doesn’t get over such a thing so quickly.

I knew there would be the inevitable talk and I knew there would be tears. I didn’t even know his current condition. The last time I had seen him in the hospital he had been pretty worked up. I just needed to stay calm and be there for him. Like he had for me.

I got up and stretched my legs, yawning slightly as I made my way over to the kitchen where I could smell something fabulous cooking and hear Junsu humming away. He really was too cute.

I walked up behind him, eyes squinting at the bright light.

“Junsu! I didn’t know you could cook!” I smiled brightly.

He kept his body towards the sink where he was currently washing some vegetables but turned his head to smile at me.

“Oh, well, not really,” he giggled as I came up behind him and rested my head on his shoulder. “But I’m a lot better than Yoochun, that’s for sure.”

We both laughed heartily this time, my arms snaking around his waste and pulling him into a hug from behind.

“I really appreciate what you two have done for me, Junsu-yah. I really do.”

“Oh, hyung, it’s nothing!” he insisted, abandoning the vegetables and placing his arms around my neck. “I just want everyone to be as happy as Yoochun and I.”

I looked into his gentle eyes for a few moments before sighing happily and decided to get out of his way. I sat back and watched, practically counting away the minutes until Yoochun would be home with Changmin, as Junsu continued to cook up a storm. I rubbed my eyes and yawned as I checked the clock for the millionth time that day; 4:47 PM.

I helped Junsu set the table, poured drinks, and even taste-tested some of dinner, assuring Junsu that it was delicious.

I was wiping down the kitchen bench when I heard the familiar jingle of keys and the front door opening. I stopped what I was doing as my heart skipped more than one beat; Changmin was home.

“Junsu, Jaejoong, we’re home!” Yoochun called.

I turned to look at Junsu, who nodded reassuringly to me as I took a few tentative steps out into the hall.

When our eyes met it was torture. He smiled weakly but I knew what he felt inside.

“Jaejoong-ah...” he murmured slowly as I stepped forward and took him in my arms, trying as hard as I could to envelope his taller frame into my warm, loving body.

He smiled wider and I let go to see the happy couple behind me, Yoochun whispering in Junsu’s ear as they embraced comfortably. He smiled and stepped away towards the kitchen.

“Dinner’s ready!”

***

The only talking that was done over dinner was the complimenting of the food. Junsu seemed happy and slightly smug, Yoochun seemed surprised yet proud that his boyfriend had managed to make Changmin such a nice ‘home coming’ meal and Changmin just nodded and smiled.

At least he was smiling. At least he said a few words now and then. At least he wasn’t pretending like nothing had happened.

I didn’t know when we were going to talk, but I knew it would come in time when Changmin wanted it to. I knew he was strong but I didn’t know how strong. I didn’t know if this was something he was going to be able to almost forget about, so he could get on with his life, or if this was something that he would think about every waking moment. I needed to stop thinking about it too. But I wouldn’t pretend like nothing had happened either.

“Who’s going to help me wash up?” Junsu said as he stood up, piling up everyone’s dinner plates and collecting things from the table.

“I will,” Yoochun said immediately, standing up and starting to take things into the kitchen.

He looked at me meaningfully before exiting behind Junsu, and I took that as my cue. I got up too, touching Changmin lightly on the shoulder and smiling, indicating that he should join me in the lounge room.

He walked into the room towards the large white sofa and kept his back turned.

“Listen Changmin, I-”

“No, Jae.” he snapped, turning around to finally face me. “You don’t have to say anything.”

The space in between us disappeared in a matter of mere seconds, Changmin’s dry lips crashing against my own with an unnerving force. I pulled back to catch my breath, chest heaving as Changmin looked at me, brushing my hair out of my eyes and leaning in to kiss me again.

He closed his eyes, breathing heavily and leaning against my body. I began to rub small comforting circles along his back but withdrew quickly when I realised what was happening. I stood back and watched as he broke apart before my eyes.

“I’m so scared Jaejoong...”

***

The feeling was indescribable. To be able to feel something else other than the confusion and hurt, to be able to feel that pain. Feel the blood seep from my skin and down into the drain, to be washed away.

A little more forgotten each time. I was getting closer and closer each time. Closer to understanding, closer to forgetting.

I love Jaejoong but I’m scared. Scared for him and my friends and for me. This way no one has to worry. I’ll be set free...

I closed my eyes and lent against the bathtub, feeling myself slip into the sweet blackness.

***

“Changmin?” I called out for my friend, worried that he had been out of my sight for far too long. I had put Jae to bed, assuring him that I would take care of Changmin. I told Yoochun not to worry, and that I would join him in bed soon enough.

“Changmin?”

He wasn’t in the study, or his room. He wasn’t in the lounge or kitchen. There weren’t many other places he could be in the apartment.

I knocked on the bathroom door, calling out again, still not getting a reply.

It’s ok, Junsu. Nothing has happened to him. He’s fine. Well... he’s not fine he just doesn’t feel like talking to you.

Don’t p-

My thoughts were cut off when I opened the door, and saw Changmin slumped against the bathtub, blood everywhere. I couldn’t scream, the sound wouldn’t come out. Why would he do this? Why why why why why?

Was he dead? Oh my god was he dead?

I began sobbing as I pulled him to my chest, taking his arms and trying to stop the bleeding.

“Yoochun!” I screamed as loud as I could.

Why would Changmin do this? He had lived through such an ordeal... We didn’t even have a chance to talk to him properly...

“Call an ambulance!”

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 13

Sat, 31 May 2008 05:21:55 GMT

A/N: Ok... so I wrote this ages ago and then wasn't happy with it and have only changed it a little and i'm still not really happy with it. *sigh* Sorry for the long wait.

Chapter 13

I never thought it would get this bad. Never knew it could get this bad. Had I been so naive to not even contemplate something like this? Never trust anyone but yourself. I can’t remember who told me that, maybe my father.

I couldn’t help shake the feeling of denial, couldn’t stop crying and wanting to just die from the pain that I felt on the inside. He was mine and I was his and what did we ever do to deserve this? When did he start thinking that he had to do this for me to be his?

It was all my fault, all my fault. He went to those lengths for me, for me...

...and I still love him.

***

I woke up to the sound of his voice. His usually smooth, calm, voice was laced with unshed tears and an unusual strain I had not heard before. He was talking to someone, possibly Jun Su or Yoo Chun.

I kept my eyes closed a little while longer, not wanting them to know I was awake. I deduced that I must have been in the hospital, from the sterile smell and the fact that I wasn’t in so much pain. I had never been in a hospital before...

I slowly opened my eyes, shifting up in the bed and looking across the room at Jae Joong’s anxious face.

Jae Joong. The cause of all my trouble. The reason my life had taken such a drastic turn.

“Who were you talking to?” I asked quietly. He gasped, rushing to my side and almost falling in his haste.

“Chang Min!” he cried. “You’re awake, oh thank god...”

Did he know? Did he know what had happened to me and who had put me here? Did he know that it was dangerous for him to even be here?

“Jae...” I smiled weakly, closing my eyes again as he wrapped his arms around me.

He needed to go away. To go and just never come back. I wanted him to be happy, I didn’t want to die... I didn’t want him to die...

What had happened to my life? He had come and fucked it up... I was so scared...just, so scared.

“Jae...” I said again, a little louder this time. I needed to be firm, he needed to know the truth from me, to accept the truth and then leave me alone. I was perfectly fine before he came into my life, right?

He looked up at me with expectant eyes, wary smile hiding his pain. I didn’t know how long I had been here for, I didn’t know what he knew or what anyone knew.

“Do you know what happened?” I whispered slowly, looking straight into his eyes as he shifted on the hospital bed to sit up next to me.

“Mostly.” he replied, looking away but taking my hand and entwining our fingers.

“Don’t you know that it’s...dangerous for us?”

I looked up to see him looking across the room and out the large window at the setting sun. He stroked the palm of my hand with his fingers absent-mindedly and I sighed happily.

“I know, Chang Min, I know. He’s gone for now though. We’ll be protected.”

I inhaled sharply, fear rising in my chest. What does he mean? I am never going to be safe, never safe from him...

“Jae! Never...n-never, we’re never going to be safe! Can’t you see? Can’t you see what he does to you, what he did to me, the lengths he is willing to go to? He didn’t just want to kill me to get me out of the picture, Jae Joong. He wanted me to suffer!”

I breathed in deeply, harshly extracting my hand from Jae’s grip and wincing in pain as I tried to move out of the bed.

“What happened Jae, what happened?” I sobbed, lying back in the bed. I just wanted it to swallow me up whole, take me away from this world and start me anew.

“You... lost a lot of blood.” he said, lips quivering. “Cracked a rib, bruises, cuts...not that bad.” he said, all of a sudden taking a deep breath out.

“Oh.” I said quietly.

Not that bad. Not that bad...

“Leave. Just leave, please.”

“Chang Min, what did he do to you?” Jae Joong sobbed, pleading with me. “I just want to be with you, we’re fine, we’re fine!” he said, taking my hand and pressing it to his chest.

“I’m alive, you’re alive, that’s all that matters!”

“What about him?”

“I tried... I tried to... but he...”

Jae Joong stopped, letting go of me and withdrawing from the hospital bed. Mere moments of silence stretched out between us, but they felt like years. Maybe I only had moments left...

“They don’t know where he is. He could be anywhere. They couldn’t find him.”

He disappeared? Yun Ho? This fucked up crazed psycho was out on the streets? The person that put me in the hospital wasn’t rotting behind bars?

“How long has it been?”

“Two days.”

You have no right to dirty what is mine. You have no right to take from me what is mine.

The words floated around in my head, tormenting me as I let my eyes follow Jae Joong around the hospital room, not knowing what I wanted anymore. If he was out of the picture, what would happen then? Happy families? I almost snorted at myself in disgust.

I wanted out. I wanted out now.

“Jae Joong, please...”

He stopped in his tracks abruptly, turning to me with concern.

“What is it Minnie? Anything, you know I’d do anything...”

What would he do if I told him the thought of being with him scared me? Would he refuse, be like Yun Ho? I could never leave him? He wasn’t raped, wasn’t broken for the one he loved...

Did I really love him? Was he worth this? What did he ever do for me? I knew I needed to keep telling myself these things or he would never leave. Never leave me to be like I was before.

Floating through life surviving on Jun Su, Yoo Chun and the other stuff. I was just there for other people...

“Please... just leave...”

The tears welled up in my eyes as I saw him nod curtly and exit the room. I knew he didn’t hate me, and I knew I didn’t hate him either. We had both inflicted pain on each other.

I knew that in time, once this was over, if it was ever over, I could love him and we could be happy.

I just needed to know where I stood, if I would be able to pick up the pieces of my broken body, my broken life, and guarantee his and my safety.

I could not stand to live in fear of the one I loved.

"The Mystery of Rose Petal Manor" - Chapter 3

Fri, 16 May 2008 06:07:37 GMT

I hated it when they gave me roses. Big bright red bunches of roses that clashed horribly with my long, bright red hair.

Bright red hair? That wasn’t me...

I walked towards the long mirror, noticed my pale pink dress. It felt smooth on my skin.

Why would she dress me in pink?

I looked into the mirror, into the bright green eyes that were not my own.

Behind the eyes I noticed him standing there, a sick smile on his face.

He picked up the rose from beside the mirror, dug its thorn into my skin...

I hate roses. Hate them.

Roses... roses... roses...

“Changmin! Wake up!” Junsu shouted, shaking the youngest boy from his disturbing dream.

Changmin opened his eyes to find Junsu and Yoochun standing beside his bed, worried looks on their faces.

He sat up, wondering... that was the second time he had had a dream like that. He looked up at Junsu, who still had his hands on his shoulders.

“What?” he asked, knowing the answer.

“Well, we came in here to ask you if you had seen Yunho or Jae Joong...and you were having a nightmare I think.” Yoochun said, walking over to the window and opening the curtains. “What are you doing sleeping at this time of day anyway?”

Changmin recoiled under his bed covers when the harsh light of the sun hit his eyes. A muffled reply could be heard from under the blankets:

“I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Oh.” mouthed Junsu, pulling down the blankets so that Changmin’s face was visible. “Is that why you... yelled this morning?” he asked, putting it lightly.

“I... yelled this morning?” Changmin said, yawning. “I don’t remember anything... I had a bad dream last night and I think I just had it again...”

Junsu looked over at Yoochun, who shrugged, and said “So I’m guessing you haven’t seen Yunho or Jae Joong...”

“No, sorry,” Changmin said, rubbing his eyes. All of a sudden he leapt out of the bed and grabbed Junsu in a tight hug. “Love you guys.” he sang, letting go and skipping out of his bedroom, leaving a bewildered YooSu in his wake.
“Wait! Come back!”

MEANWHILE...

“You know... while we’re in here we could...”

“No Jae! I’m not in the mood!” Yunho snapped, throwing his dead phone into the darkness.

“Well... I was just saying... we could be in a here for a long time and that would... you know, pass the time.” Jae said unable to wipe the childish grin from his face.

“Hey keep doing that,” Yunho giggled. “Your teeth are lighting up this place.”

They obviously weren’t doing a good enough job as Yunho did not see Jae’s hand fly through the air and land square in middle of his face.

“Oww!” he screeched, reaching out to catch Jae’s hand and accidentally pulling him down on top of him.

“Hey, that’s more like it!” Jae laughed, using his body to pin Yunho down on the hard floor.

“No, get off Jae!” Yunho groaned, trying to sit up. He got a laugh in reply and so gave up.

But it couldn’t have been Jae’s laugh, because he was busy sucking on his neck...

The sound continued, but Jae had now moved onto his lips, softly pressing them against his own, his tongue making its way around inside when...

“I expected as much.” chuckled a voice.

Yunho breathed a sigh of relief as the weight of his lover was lifted from his chest. A dim light flicked on and cast over the tiny room.

“Changmin...?”

Yunho pushed Jae out of the way to find a crazed looking Changmin standing by the door, Yoochun and Junsu behind him with bewildered looks plastered across their pretty faces.

Changmin held out a hand for Jae and helped him up as Yunho tried to think things over in his head.

“Where did that door come from?” he asked, turning around in the room and have a better look now that he could see properly.

Changmin just chuckled, stepping back out into the lounge room.

“I found this little hidden room yesterday when we were exploring the house.” Changmin explained, closing the door after Yunho and watching it blend back into the wall. “How did you guys find it?” he asked innocently, seating himself on the sofa.
“Uh... we, uh...” Jae said, face turning red, avoiding looking at Yunho.

“We fell! Yeah... fell,” Yunho blushed, smiling nervously.

The other three simply laughed, not believing the excuse for a minute.

“More importantly...” Yoochun said loudly, plopping down beside Changmin. “Things in this place are weirder than weird. I mean... nothing works and I don’t know why.” he mused, shaking his head.

“Yeah, we noticed...” Yunho smirked.

The five rather unsettled boys sat down to talk, Changmin in the centre.

“I personally think we should get out of here,” he started. “This place gives me the creeps and ever since we got here I’ve been having these... disturbing dreams. Something about this place is not right.” he emphasised, looking around at the four older men with wide eyes.

His worries were dismissed with a ruffle of the hair. “Oh Changminnie... don’t be silly,” Junsu giggled. “There’s probably just electrical problems...this place is old after all.” he said gesturing around the room. “Nothing to worry about.” he repeated.

“It’s still weird.” grimaced Yoochun.

“But you don’t want to give this place a chance?” frowned Junsu, turning to his better half. “We just got here!”

“Ok, ok.” sighed Yoochun. “But I’m just waiting for someone to disappear or to see a ghost or something.” he laughed, half serious, half joking. “The only thing that works is my digital camera.”

“Oh really?” Jae asked perking up. He hadn’t really been listening until then. “Can I use it? I’ve been dying to take some pics outside... it would be such a great background...” he slowly reached for the shiny rectangular object clasped in Micky’s hand, an evil glint in his eye.

“No way... I remember what happened last time. You are coming nowhere near my camera! Go find your own!”

With a pout, Jae stood up. It looked like he was going to leave the room when suddenly he lunged at Yoochun, tackling him to the ground and re-surfacing with camera in hand, a triumphant look on his face.

“Come on Yunnie!” he shouted skipping towards the door. “Let’s go take some pictures outside!”

Getting up warily and blocking Jae from harm’s way (in the form of Junsu) and as he opened the door, Yunho made an apologetic face towards Yoochun who was now sitting up on the living room floor, rubbing his arm that was hurt in the process of Jae stealing his camera.

“You’ll get it back, don’t worry!”

Two hours and hundreds of pictures later, Yunho and Jae Joong sat on an old bench in one of the far corners of the sprawling estate. Yunho sat facing the slope of lawn down towards the front of the grounds with Jae’s arms around him, one hand tightly grasping Yoochun’s camera in front of Yunho’s stomach and the other hand gently stroking his arm.

“This place isn’t too bad...” Jae sighed, adjusting his position so he could rest his head on Yunho’s shoulder. “Isn’t this why we moved here? For more time to be alone without anyone watching us?” He shifted his head so that he and Yunho were closer.

“I guess...” sighed Yunho, a small smile forming on his lips. He leant in and pecked Jae Joong gently on the lips. They slowly broke apart, Jae Joong placing the camera on the ground beside the bench. “I like being alone with you like this...” Yunho grinned devilishly. “It means we can pick up where we left off...”

He slowly pushed Jae Joong down until he was lying on his back on the rough stone bench. “I like the sound of that!” Jae giggled, scooting backwards to accommodate his lover.

Yunho fell in between the older man’s legs, leaning down to place gentle kisses on the side of his face and down along his neck. The small moans, giggles and gasps of pleasure that he was working from Jae Joong made him instantly hard. He reached for his thick sweater and pulled it off, whilst Jae worked hungrily at the buckle of his belt. Yunho looked down for a few moments, indulging in the glorious sight of a half naked Jae Joong before leaning in and taking one of his pink nipples in his willing mouth, lapping at it with his tongue and then gently sucking.

“Oh... Yunnie...Nng...” Jae Joong groaned as Yunho leant in to grind their hips together, confirming that they were just as hard as one another. Now both half naked and tightly lip-locked, the boys continued to grind into each other on the cold stone bench.

Just as he looked up into Yunho’s lust filled eyes, Jae Joong thought he saw a flash of pink run past them and into the bushes. With a surprised gasp he broke away from Yunho, eyes wide.

“Fuck! Did you see that?” he shouted, hand clutching his heart, too scared for any other words. Yunho had not seen a thing.

“Boo... calm down, I didn’t see anything...” Yunho said, chest heaving, a grin forming on his lips.

Eyes still wide, searching up and down the grounds, Jae Joong exclaimed, “It was a girl! In a pink dress!”

**

It was sometime after lunch when Yunho and Jae Joong made the trek back to their large house, finding the three younger band members chatting happily in the kitchen.

Jae Joong had eventually calmed down, after Yunho fiercely insisted that there was no girl in a pink dress watching them get ‘down and dirty’. They made sweet dirty love and after a few more un noticed pictures (courtesy of the sneaky and learned Camera-man Jae Joong) returned to the house.

“You will not tell him!” Changmin said, pointing a finger at Junsu in an authoritative manner. He went to hide behind Yoochun, who was sitting at the kitchen bench, looking on, amused. “It will be the end of all of us!”

“What will be the end of us?” Yunho asked casually, stepping into the room hand-in-hand with Jae Joong and moving to sit beside Yoochun at the bench.

Attention turning from the giggling Junsu to Yunho with a glare on his face, he went to speak, opening his mouth but the words were stolen from him with an interjection by Yoochun.

“It’s weird...” Yoochun started, receiving a death glare from the youngest of the five. “The power’s back on... but only in parts of the house.” he finished, looking as though he was trying to hold in laughter. Behind him Junsu burst into fits of laughter, eyes dodging back and forth between Changmin and Jae Joong. At the fridge, Jae Joong turned around, comprehension dawning on his pretty face in the form of a wide grin.

“The computer?!” he half asked, half exclaimed. “Now I can show you guys the pics we took today!!”

Leaving the refrigerator door wide open, he ran across the room and was seen bounding up the stairs by a flabbergasted Changmin. This was what he had been fearing. Knowing that there would be some serious consequences if he did not go and see the pictures for at least a little while, Changmin rolled his eyes at the still giggling Junsu and followed his hyung up the stairs.

“Come on hyung,” Junsu chirped, pulling Yoochun up from his seat and snapping his fingers in front of Yunho’s face. Snapping out of his daze, Yunho stood up and joined the other men on their way upstairs.

“Wow, it’s like I don’t have to go outside to see the rest of this place ever again...” Yoochun half joked 15 minutes later, squished in between Jaejoong and Junsu on the couch, eyes squinting at the glaring laptop screen. “You can see past Jae’s fat head?” Changmin said too seriously. In the current picture all he could see was a blur of skin, hair and green, assuming that it was Jae somewhere outside.

Three hearts skipped a beat, knowing that Changmin was going to at the least receive a slap up side the head. All he got was a snarky reply.

“You.” (Deep breath from Jae Joong) “Can stop watching now.”

Changmin stood up to leave, making it to the door before replying: “Is that my punishment? Oh, what a world!” With that he exited the lounge room, and could be heard making his way down stairs.

“Brat.” Yunho whispered, leaning into Jae further and actually showing some interest in the pictures. He was in some of them, after all. He clicked to the next picture. It was outlined by the back of Yunho’s head and shoulders, and showed the view from where they had been sitting, down the slope and back towards the house they were now in.

“Boo...” Yunho started, tensing up. “You stopped taking pictures after that right?” he laughed nervously, rubbing his neck with his right hand. “Just a few more,” Jae Joong grinned mischievously, glancing sideways at his lover.

He pressed his finger down on the left key of the soft laptop keyboard revealing the next picture, a half naked Yunho with his face buried deep into the crook of the neck of a half naked Jae Joong.

“I thought you put the camera down!” Yunho almost squealed, reaching over to close the window on the screen. “I did...” Jae Joong said calmly, swatting away Yunho’s hand. “But it must have been on an automatic setting or something.” He pointed to the screen. “See, there are both of my hands, how could I have taken the picture?”

Their bickering was interrupted by a loud giggle from Junsu who was being whispered to by Yoochun. “What?” asked Jae as he narrowed his eyes at the pair.

“Oh, nothing,” sighed Yoochun, slapping Junsu lightly on the back. “Let’s go!” he shouted as the naughty pair stood up and bounced towards the doorway.

“We probably turned them on...” Yunho purred into Jae Joong’s ear, who giggled slightly. “Next picture please...” he continued, breath heavy in Jae Joong’s ear. “Ok...” he gulped, neck tingling from the close proximity with Yunho. He pressed the button, smiling widely at the rather risqué position he and Yunho were in displayed on the screen. He almost pressed for the next picture when something caught his eye.

“Do you see that?” Yunho asked, also noticing it and leaning in further to get a closer look.

“OH MY GOD!” Jae Joong screamed as he leapt into Yunho’s arms, eyes shut tight, accidentally flinging that laptop onto the ground.

“What’s all the noise?” Changmin asked as he re-entered the room. Yoochun and Junsu soon followed him, hand in hand.

Breathing heavily and gasping for breath, Yunho pointed to the laptop on the ground. “G...g...ghost.” he whispered, grabbing a tight hold of Jae Joong and squeezing his eyes shut.

Snickering, Yoochun leant down to pick up the laptop, bringing it up to face level and sharing the view with Junsu and Changmin.

“All I see is you and Jae getting it on and...” Junsu said narrowing his eyes. “Some girl...”

With a gasp, Yoochun closed the laptop and turned to face the pair on the couch. The other four hardly noticed that Changmin was still standing in the same position, eyes glazed over, murmuring to himself.

“Rose...”

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 12 (Part 2)

Thu, 08 May 2008 07:59:05 GMT

Chapter 12 (Part 2)

I sat on the lounge smiling happily, not really paying attention to the old movie that was playing on the TV screen, but thinking about him.

It felt good to be forgiving, it felt good to be able to tell someone you loved them and know that they loved you back in the exact same way. We could protect each other, and be there for each other. I would only ever need to explain something to Chang Min and he would forgive me, never be the evil possessive monster I now realised I thought I loved.

I had loved him...Yun Ho. Loved him so much and I know he still loves me. Was I going to throw away that love? I had to. It was a love that consumed me, suffocated me, hurt me...

But I simply couldn’t erase those years from my memory, the happy moments, the smiles, the kisses, the whispers of I love you, the formation of plans, plans that included spending our whole lives together...

I shook my head, begging the tears not to fall. Who did I love? I was already making a choice...I was choosing someone I barely knew over someone I had loved for such a long time, and who loved me back...

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell, and I got up slowly to answer it. I let out a little gasp of surprise but soon found myself smiling as I was greeted with the sight of Yun Ho.

What was he doing here? I couldn’t let myself be lured in by any trap he would set...

I would have to tell him to go away. I was just so confused lately. I would have to talk to Yoo Chun and Jun Su again...

I opened the door, smiling brightly and letting Yun Ho inside.
“Hi...” I said, standing in the hall awkwardly as Yun Ho stared at me. I motioned for him to follow me down the hall and into the lounge room.

He hadn’t tried to hug or kiss me yet, which was a good sign.

“Did you want to talk about something in particular?” I asked quietly, trying to determine the reason for his sudden visit.

“I made a big mistake, Jae Joong,” he said quietly, and that was when I looked up into his face, noticing the tears glistening in his eyes.

I sat there shocked, not knowing what to say.

“Do you love me Jae Joong?”

I inhaled sharply at his words, deliberately looking away for a few moments.

“Of c-course I do, Yun Ho, you know why I-”

“Don’t LIE!” he sobbed.

I felt the fear rise up as a bitter taste in my mouth. Why was he doing this to me? Why, why, why?

He continued to cry loudly, no anger visible on his face, only pain.

“Do you love me Jae Joong?” he repeated, hands clenching the edge of the seat he was on. “Do you love me or do you love Chang Min?” he spat.

I gasped, shaking my head from side to side frantically.

He knew, oh god, he knew.

“I love you Yunnie, I’ve always loved you, only you...” I murmured softly, sniffling through my own tears as I knelt by his side, placing my hands on his shoulders.

He looked down into my eyes, as if judging me, trying to see past my eyes and into my thoughts. He looked dangerous when he looked like this.

“You’ll only have me to love from now on, Jae Joong.” he smiled, closing his eyes and blinking away the tears.

I shuddered visibly, knowing that I would have to keep him happy, happy until he left, if he ever left... and then I would go to Chang Min... tell him that we needed to get out of here, away from Yun Ho, away from this city... somewhere safe.

He stood up, and I smiled as he walked down the hall, asking which door was the bathroom. I directed him to it and breathed a sigh of relief once I heard him close the door.

What was I going to do? I thought that maybe I loved him but I was scared to even be in the same room as him.

My attention was diverted to the small black duffel bag Yun Ho had brought inside the apartment with him. It was unusual; I had never seen Yun Ho with a bag like this before.

I craned my neck around the hall to check that he was still in the bathroom, and the cautiously unzipped the bag.

I rummaged around, past a spare change of clothes, a towel and some after shave. Perhaps he had been to a gym...

I gasped and let the bag fall out of my hands as though it were hot like fire. Why did he need a rope, and a knife and... Chang Min’s phone?

I covered my mouth in horror as I bent down to inspect the switch blade, almost vomiting on the spot as I noticed it was covered in dried blood.

What had he done to Chang Min? Is that what he meant when he said that I’d only have him to love from now on? Did he kill Chang Min?

I quickly zipped up the bag and placed it back by the side of the couch. I looked around desperately, trying to locate my phone. I didn’t notice Yun Ho walk back inside the room, nor did I notice him standing and watching me with a smirk on his face.

“Looking for something?”

I spun around, chest heaving as I faked a smile. “No...I...”

My heart skipped a beat as I heard my phone ring, the cute tune I had set as Junsu’s personal tone filtering down the hall and out into the lounge room.

I almost ran to the door, knowing that I needed to get out of here as soon as I could.

“I’m sure it’s nothing important boo,” Yun Ho called out after me, following me calmly down the hall.

I kept running, finding my phone just as it stopped ringing. I fell to my knees, gasping for breath and leaning my head against the wall of my bedroom.

“Jae... what’s wrong honey? I’m sure it’s nothing important.” Yun Ho said from the door way, still calm even though I knew he could tell something was up.

What was I going to do? Would he kill me too? Or should I just pretend like nothing had happened and hope he wouldn’t hurt me? What if he hadn’t done anything to Chang Min?

I just looked up at him standing in the doorway and smiled, my mind racing with all sorts of possibilities.

“I think you should go,” I said, trying to put on an apologetic smile.

He frowned, putting his hands on his hips.

“Why?” he said forcefully.

I was about to say something when my phone buzzed again, and I almost dropped it out of my hands. I checked the caller ID, my pulse racing. It was Jun Su. What was he going to tell me?

I tried to look calm, as if I wasn’t expecting anything bad.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Jae Joong!” Jun Su cried over the phone, his voice strained. “You need to get here now, it’s Chang Min... he...”

There was a burst of tears on the other side of the phone and a rustling as the phone was passed along. “Jae... it was him... you need to come here straight away before he-”

I looked up in fright to find Yun Ho standing directly opposite me, having grabbed the phone out of my hands and thrown it across the other side of the room.

“They don’t matter!” he yelled. “None of them matter!”

Feeling braver than I had ever felt in my life I stood up, matching his stance and shouting with all my might. “What did you do to Chang Min?”

Yun Ho merely chuckled, walking closer to me and grabbing me gently by the jaw.

“I got him out of the way, the little whore...no one touches my Joongie... no one can love my Joongie...”

I shuddered as he moved closer, gently caressing my face with his hands and trying to bring his lips to mine.

I wrenched out of his grasp, pushing him backwards slightly.

“I’m not yours!” I screamed, still standing my ground. I didn’t care if he hit me, he needed to know the truth, and he needed to hear it from me.

“What, you’re Chang Min’s? That little whore’s? Yeah, I saw you in the park, kissing. I should have known all along!” he laughed bitterly. “But I paid the whore a little visit. And do you know who I thought of the whole time?” he asked menacingly.

I still stood my ground, shaking my head slowly but feeling as if I was about to throw up.

“You, Joongie. As I fucked him I thought about you, how good you would look under me, like him, begging and broken and crying...”

I let out a strangled sob, looking up into Yun Ho’s angry eyes, seeing a gleam in them I had never seen before. He had finally lost it. Had he always thought this way? What had I done to turn him into such a monster?

“I taught him a lesson. Now it’s time for yours.”

He grabbed me harshly by the arm, throwing me to the ground in front of him.

“Please...” I begged. “What did you do to Chang Min?”

“He doesn’t matter now! He never mattered! Why can’t you see that?” he boomed, slapping me harshly across the face. I continued to cry, shaking harshly into the ground below me.

Yun Ho grabbed me by the hair this time, painfully yanking at it to get me to stand up. “I love you, Jae Joong,” he said, before crashing his lips against mine, harshly biting and sucking and taking all he could get. I swallowed his breath quickly, almost faint from lack of air. He tried to twine his tongue around mine, licking and suck all around my mouth. I placed my hands firmly on his shoulders, digging in my nails and pushing backwards, sending him stumbling.

I wasn’t going to let him do to me whatever it was he did to Chang Min. I didn’t even want to think about it. Not my Yun Ho. As he stumbled I kicked him harshly in the crotch area. He let out a cry and fell over backwards, I scrambled across the floor for my phone and ran out the bedroom into the hall, panting and crying as I ran for my life, dialling the only number I knew could really save me.

“It’s my boyfr-my m-my friend he came and t-tried to attack me and I think he attacked my other friend... please, please help!”

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 12 (Part 1)

Mon, 05 May 2008 05:30:04 GMT

Chapter 12 (Part 1)

I walked down the dark lane, pulling on the hood of my jacket to shield myself from the cold rain. Despite the current circumstance I had a smile on my face. Nothing could wipe this smile off.

I felt that for the first time in my life I was truly happy. This was true love, I knew it. I could sense something special about Jae Joong from the moment I laid eyes on him.

Now he was finally free, free from that monster and we could be together. Our beginnings had been shaky but now I could tell it would be smooth sailings for us.

I had agreed that for his own safety (after much persuasion from Jun Su hyung) that I would stay away for a while. A couple of weeks, maybe even a month. Long enough for everyone to get adjusted and for us to work out a way to be together.

To tell you the truth, I was still a little scared of Yun Ho. Well, more than a little. Yes, he had let Jae go just this once but what did that prove?

I shook my head, mentally scalding myself for not having faith in people.

As I had suspected, Jae hadn’t taken my ‘news’ all that well. There was so much that happened in my life before I even met him that he didn’t have a clue about. But now he understood and everything was fine. I remember his words...

With me it’s a new beginning. Leave behind all your worries and just focus on us. Tell me once so I know, and then just forget about it. Your life shouldn’t be ruled by the past.

I smiled when I thought of Jae Joong’s bright smile, his understanding eyes and his warm hand. How could someone who had been through as much as him still have such a positive take on things? Maybe that was what kept him going all that time...

I got to the door of my apartment, sighing and resting against it for a moment, taking a moment to reflect on the day before taking out my keys to get into the house.

I turned the knob, stepping forward to get inside and let out a little cry of surprise when the door didn’t move. Did I just lock it instead of unlocking it? Silly me. But if I locked it then that meant it was already unlocked...

I unlocked it again, pocketing my keys and taking a weary step forward.

“Hello?” I called out into the darkness, setting down my things before turning on the lights.

I jumped at the sight of the all too familiar man, now bathed in the eerie light of the city outside and the lamps within the apartment.

“Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me, Yun Ho. What are you doing here? How did you get inside?”

I walked tentatively towards where Yun Ho was standing in the centre of the room, scared beyond belief. I had to act casual, as if I had no reason to be scared of him.

What the fuck was he doing in my apartment? How had he managed to get in here? What was I going to do?

He hadn’t said an entire word the entire time I had been inside the apartment, and that was what unnerved me the most.

“Open for business?” he asked sneeringly.

I scowled, slowly backing towards the kitchen where I could find something to help me. My phone, a knife, anything...

“I...I don’t know what you mean,” I said shakily, turning my scowl into a confused smile, stopping in my tracks and folding my arms gently.

“Do you...do you want a drink or someth-”

“DON’T mess with me, Chang Min.”

I looked into his eyes, so dark and full of something I couldn’t even begin to describe...

“I know, I know all about you.” he smiled, not a friendly, warm smile, but a knowing, almost evil smile.

“I d-don’t know what you mean, know what?” I asked, almost stuttering in my helplessness.

He sighed, seemingly impatient. What was he expecting from me?

“I should have known,” he said in a loud, almost rehearsed manner. “All the signs were there, I suppose.”

It was almost as if he was talking to an audience, walking around on a stage and delivering a pre-devised speech.

If I felt scared before, then I did not know what to call this. He knew. About Jae Joong and I. I could tell. Just tell. He wasn’t your average psycho, or your average jealous boyfriend. He hadn’t come straight out and said it, hadn’t started yelling or throwing punches. He was making a show of things, making me uneasy, making me doubt myself. And most of all he was making me suffer.

With every step forward he took, I moved back, until I hit the kitchen table, sending a chair to the side with a loud clatter. I tried to move away, but he grabbed me by the shoulders, painfully pinning me against the table with his body.

He leant over, full lips ghosting past my ear. His hot breath made me shiver, as I stayed perfectly still trying to think my way out of the situation. I felt the familiar fear creep up on me, the fear that only came upon me in certain situations.

“How much for a fuck, Chang Min?” I inhaled sharply, looking into Yun Ho’s crazed eyes. “Then again, I would say I get special privileges, you fucking my boyfriend and all,”

I let out a sharp cry as he kicked me in the shin and pushed me to the floor, sliding off his jacket and tossing it to the side.

“No...!” I gasped in pain, clutching my leg as I looked up at him from the floor. “Yun Ho, it’s not like that...”

“Don’t need the money? It’s okay, I wasn’t intending on paying anyway,”

I cowered in pain on the cold kitchen floor as he kicked me, small grunts coming from his mouth at the force he exerted.

“You. Think. You. Could. Get. Away. With. It?”
The tears began to well up in my eyes as he beat me, the pain blinding me as I sobbed and tried to get up.

He just laughed mercilessly, kicking me in the stomach again before grabbing me by the hair.

“You have no right to dirty what is mine. You have no right to take from me what is mine.”

I winced and screamed as he dragged me by my hair into the middle of the lounge room.

“No...please!” I begged, shaking as he yanked my hair.

“Stand up you filthy WHORE!”

I did as he commanded, and for a horrible, sick moment I was reminded of my past. How helpless and futile I had felt at my father’s hands, how he had beaten the hope out of me, beaten the obedience into me. For a fleeting moment too, I wondered if this is what it was like for Jae Joong.

I stood shakily, every part of my body aching in pain as the tears I shed trailed down to my trembling lips.

“STRIP, you fucking weak whore!” Yun Ho bellowed, and I took a deep trembling breath, but didn’t move. With my hair still in his grip I didn’t think there was much I could do to fight back.

“I said STRIP!” he shouted even louder, thrusting me down onto the hard floor and out of his grip.

I clambered to my feet, lunging at him with a growl only to be knocked back onto the floor, a kick to my chest knocking the wind out of me. I looked up to see a shiny switch blade dance in front of my eyes, before I was knocked out cold.

***

I placed the blade back in my pocket, regarding Chang Min’s unconscious body with a quiet “Humph,” before dragging him by his legs into the centre of the room.

I grinned happily, leaning down to inspect Chang Min’s swollen lips. Soon I would know what it felt to have those lips on mine, to dominate his mouth with my tongue, to taste him, to taste his blood, to hear him scream in pain as I forced myself inside of him in every way possible...everything that I had ever dreamed of doing to Jae Joong...

He would pay for doing this to my Jae Joong, for ever looking at him... for ever being near him... for ever thinking that he could have him...

I smirked again, moving over to the small bag of mine that I had placed by the coffee table earlier that night when I broke in. I had planned this whole thing the moment I saw them kissing. That moment I knew I had to act... had to act or I would lose my Joongie...my love...

I pulled out the handkerchief I would use as a gag and the thick pieces of rope I would use to bind Chang Min’s hands. But I would only use these things if they were needed.

I leant over his un-moving body, smirk not leaving my face as I played gently with the blade in my hand again. I ran its edge along the side of his face, down to his neck and up and down his chest, trying to judge where I would make the cuts.

I could feel him stir underneath me, and so I put my legs on either side of him, pinning him down by the shoulders with my hands. He opened his eyes and was greeted with my face. He immediately began to struggle, I just laughed and made tutting noises with my tongue.

There was no way he was going anywhere.

“Now, now, Chang Min...just relax, and this might be a lot less painful for you...”

“No! Get off of me! Let me GO!” He continued to struggle, and I laughed coldly, loosening my grip slightly to continue playing with the switch blade, before bringing it down and slashing harshly through his top, ripping a scream of pure pain from his lips.

He looked so good, eyes closed tight in pain and sweat forming on the sides of his face and running down to mingle along the base of his neck and collar bone.

I leant down, ripping the remains of his shirt off his body as I licked along his neck, breathing in his heated smell, biting painfully at his collar bone.

He gasped and bucked, continued to struggle as I let my hands rub down over his abdomen, sweat mingling with blood.

“Please...!” he screamed, trying to kick his legs out and unseat me. “Don’t do this to me!”

“I’ll do what I want!” I snarled, placing another harsh bite to his chest. “No one does anything to Jae Joong, but me! You need to learn a lesson or two.”

I looked down at his face, scrunched up in pain and somewhat defeated. His lips quivered, a small gasp leaving them every few seconds. I bent down, pressing my lips to his, licking along the outside and was surprised when he let me in.

I delved my tongue into the hotness of his mouth, out of breath in seconds as I tasted along the inside. His tongue danced with mine, and I bit down harshly on it, knowing that he was fighting to get control over me, one of the only ways he knew how.

He pushed me hard and I toppled backwards, gasping for breath when our mouths parted. He stood up weakly, dizzy from being beaten around and loss of blood.

I was on my feet in an instant, much quicker than him and pushed him harshly back onto the floor. He let out a gasp of pain as he landed on his side.

“There’s no use trying, Chang Min,” I said loudly as he gasped, crawling across the floor and away from me.

I grabbed him by the waist of his pants, pulling him backwards so he was on his hands and knees in front of me. Just where I wanted him.

There was a constant stream of crying, of panting and “No” as I shed him of his pants. I could feel him tremble under my touch, his whole body shaking as I grabbed him by the legs, pulling his naked body against mine as he lay against the ground, too weak to support himself.

I unzipped my pants, pulling down my boxers enough so that I could free my painfully aroused cock. This whole time I had been hard, seeing him so helpless and bare for the taking. I groaned as I wondered what it would be like to do this to Jae Joong, my beautiful Jae, who was so much more beautiful than Chang Min could ever be...

I groaned in a mix of pleasure and relief as I thrust swiftly into Chang Min, delighting in the guttural scream that ripped from his throat as I continued to pound into him.

His body hit the ground with sickening slaps, and I could see blood trickling from his abused hole and down the side of his legs, some drops falling on the floor.

Chang Min couldn’t scream anymore, he just winced in pain and let out the occasional hoarse cry as I thrust into him brutally.

It didn’t take long until I came, a long groan leaving my mouth as I heard Chang Min resume his weak crying. I pulled out and stood up, pushing his body over so that I could see his face.

He stared back defiantly, and I smirked as I saw the tears streaking his face and the small pool of blood he lay in.

He was broken; I could tell he got the message. I did up my pants and kicked his leg lightly with a smirk.

“Don’t ever fucking come near Jae Joong again.”

"The Mystery of Rose Petal Manor" - Chapter 2

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 05:44:54 GMT

Chapter 2 - The Roses

The previous night there had been quite a storm. The times Yunho had gotten up to put another log on the fire he had not been able to see anything out of the window but endless rain.

Occasionally during the night the boys had been startled from their sleep by claps of lightning or great booms of thunder.

When they woke in the morning the sky was clear, and a fine layer of snow covered the grounds and house, but it was quickly melting.

Yoochun and Junsu were the first to rise, and they took the opportunity to take in the view in each other’s arms, not quite yet awake.

“It’s so romantic.” Yoochun gushed, tightening his grip around Junsu’s waist.

Creeping up on them, Jae whispered “Morning...” just as their lips touched, making Yoochun jump and Junsu hit Jae for disturbing them. Rubbing his arm, Jae walked away chuckling.

He sat on the couch, admiring a sleeping Yunho and Changmin. He slid next to Yunho, brushing his hair out of his eyes and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “Time to wake up.” He tapped him gently on the shoulder.

He was hungry already and wanted Yunho to help him make breakfast... alone. He grabbed his hand and pulled him up, Yunho grunting in protest. “Breakfast, come on,” he cooed. “Let’s go.”

Yunho stood up, rubbing his eyes as Jae tried to push him towards the door.

Jae reached for the door and turned the knob. It wouldn’t open. He turned it the other way. It still wouldn’t open. There was no lock on the door either.

How strange.

He turned to Yoochun and Junsu who had now migrated to the couch and were cuddled up, eyes closed.

“Have you guys been outside of this room this morning?” Jae asked, applying the full weight of his body to the door. It didn’t budge.

“Uh, no, why?” Yoochun replied, opening his eyes.

“It won’t open.” Jae said through gritted teeth, still trying to open the door by force.

“Here, let me try.” a know awake Yunho said, shooing Jae out of the way. He couldn’t see why the door wasn’t opening and so he thought by simply turning the handle he would fix the problem. After turning it left and right, and bashing on the door in frustration, he backed away, looking at Jae, who just shrugged.

Junsu and Yoochun had now both opened their eyes to watch when they were startled by the sound of the boys running and jumping against the door. The sound also disturbed Changmin, who woke up, and unwillingly walked over to see what the noise was about.

“Will you help me with this?” Jae asked frustratedly, looking around at the four younger boys who, not wanting to feel the wrath of Jae, got up and started pushing on the door.

Changmin, now noticing that Jae had adequate help, wandered over to the window, that still had beads of water slipping down it from the previous night’s storm. He stood and looked out over the grounds of their new house and across to the hills in the distance.

It didn’t take him long to notice something strange.

“Hey guys...” he mumbled to the other four struggling with the door. They didn’t notice him as Jae counted down.

“Alright... again... one, two, three, GO!”

Yunho, Jae and Yoochun threw all of their weight against the door, with Junsu stepping behind, noticing how pointless the exercise was.

“Is there something we can throw...?” Yunho said, turning around to see Changmin, face pressed against the glass. “Min...?” he asked, almost laughing. “Are...are you alright?”

At Yunho’s words everyone’s attention fell on Changmin, who was now mumbling under his breath as he traced his hand up and down the window’s edge.

They slowly approached the younger boy, cautiously surrounding him.

“What ya lookin’ at Min?” Junsu asked, using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe a clean square in the window, providing a clear view of the sight that seemed to be disturbing Changmin.

“Um... that’s a bit weird....” Junsu said slowly, pulling Yoochun closer for a better look.

“Um, what are we supposed to be looking at Min?” Jae asked.

Changmin didn’t say anything, just quickly glanced at Jae before pointing and tapping at the window.

“I can’t see a damn thing with all this condensation.” Jae fussed, grabbing his jacket from the couch and wiping down the whole window.

As he wiped down the old glass, a glorious mix of white and red met his eyes. It had obviously snowed during the night, because the whole yard was covered in a thick layer of snow.

The weird thing was -
On top of the snow, and not just in some places, but everywhere, scattered around were rose petals. Bright red...

“...Roses.” Changmin said, his first word in a long time.

“Does anyone else find that weird...?” Yoochun asked, leaning in for a closer look.

“What, the fact that we can’t get out of this room or the fact that it snowed?!?” Jae asked with a kind of frustrated sarcasm.

“Uh... Jae, there are rose petals all over the snow. Do you see any rose bushes? Not to mention the fact that it only just stopped snowing... so where did all the petals come from?” Junsu said, tapping on the window in the same fashion as Changmin.

“I... HATE... ROSES...!” Changmin screamed, making the four boys around him jump back in fright. Eyes wild, he stormed towards the door. As if by magic it flung open, and he raced out and down the stairs to his room.

Flabbergasted, the older boys stood in shock without saying a word.

“What was with that?” asked Jae.
“I don’t know... but he got the door open, eh?” Yunho smiled.
“No more rose jokes.” Yoochun added.
“He might kill us.” Junsu laughed.

Yoochun and Junsu skipped off laughing, heading for the bathroom, leaving Jae and Yunho alone in the now cold living room.

“This place creeps me out...” Yunho sighed as he took Jae in his arms.
“Mmm, me too.” Jae said, nuzzling his face into his lover’s shoulder.

The pair stood there, embracing for what seemed to be the longest amount of time before Yunho pulled away, throwing a glance around the room.

“Is the power on again?” he asked, leaning down in front of the TV and pressing random buttons. It didn’t turn on and with a frustrated sigh Yunho stormed over to the light switch and flicked it up and down. No luck there either. He glared at Jae, before rolling his eyes.

“Our second day here and we have no goddamn electricity!”
From his pocket he pulled out his mobile phone, and hastily punched in a number. As he listened to the dial tone over and over, Jae slid his hands around him, pulling him slowly down onto the couch.

Now both lying on the couch, Yunho clicked his phone shut.
“It’s like it’s not working...” he frowned. “Nothing here works...” he sighed, looking into Jae’s chocolate eyes.

“Maybe that’s a good thing.” Jae said softly, tickling Yunho with his slender fingers, tracing them down the side of his face.

Yunho chuckled inwardly, sliding beneath Jae and meeting his lips with his. They kissed roughly, Yunho flipping over so that he was on top of Jae. Their lips parted, and with a great intake of breath, Yunho pulled Jae up and towards the fire place, pushing him forcefully against the smooth stone wall.

He leant back with a sigh, and looked into his lover’s eyes longingly. They hadn’t had a chance to be together for almost a week and it was killing them. As Yunho placed sweet kisses along his neck, Jae gasped, reaching for the zipper of the younger boy’s pants. With a groan, Yunho fell into Jae, wrapping his arms around him and pushing him harder against the wall. Jae groaned softly as their lower halves met and he could feel Yunho’s hardness through his tight jeans.

Yunho was undressing Jae, when the next thing they knew, they were falling forwards and the wall around Jae was opening. They both landed, with a large thud, onto a cold wooden floor.

It all happened very quickly.

“What the hell just happened?” Yunho asked, his words echoing into the darkness. He couldn’t see a thing. Where were they?

“Jae? Where are you?” he shouted, arms flailing about in the dark.

“I’m just here, you don’t have to shout.” Jae huffed, pulling his phone out and using it as a makeshift torch. Yunho did the same and they were able to get a dim view of their surroundings.

They were in a small room, with stone walls like the living room, only rougher.

“How did we end up in here?” Yunho asked, holding up his phone for a better look around.

“I don’t know,” Jae said, inspecting the room up and down. “I think we came through the wall.”

He reached for Yunho’s hand and grabbed it, to find that it was just as sweaty and shaky as his own.

“How are we going to get out?” Jae asked, eyes wide.

“I don’t know.” Yunho said, turning away from Jae, trying to hide his fear.

In just ten minutes they had explored the entire tiny room.

No way out.

No light.

The room was bare, with roughly cut stone walls and a hard wooden floor.

But worst of all, it was cold. Freezing. Jae had lost his shirt somewhere in between the living room and here, and now he sat in the corner, arms wrapped around himself for warmth.

With a sigh, Yunho slumped down onto the floor beside Jae, after trying to call someone for the millionth time in the past few minutes.

“It’s okay, hun,” he said, taking Jae into his arms. “I’m sure they’re looking for us right now.”

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 11

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 03:37:04 GMT

A/N: This is the longest chapter so far! I had planned for more to happen in this chapter, but it got so long so that's spilling into the next chapter. *feels proud*

Chapter 11

I had been staying with Yoo Chun and Jun Su for two days. Two days and I already missed him. I knew I needed to stop thinking about him. I always thought about what he was doing, how he was feeling and if he missed me too.

I thought back to two days ago, what it felt like to be in his arms, to have him murmuring words into my ear. He had begged me to stay, promised that he loved me and promised that things would get better, and then I left, not looking back.

I told him he could call me, he could even still see me, just not as often as usual. He understood, and every time I thought of him my heart burst with pride at the thought that there was a chance we would soon be back together, and things would be better.

Maybe he wouldn’t have to hit me anymore. Maybe he would realise that I wasn’t going to put up with this anymore. Maybe he would never change. Every time that thought ran through my head I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn’t know when I was going to be ready to try again with him; maybe I would never be. And what would happen then? Would he try to take me away?

What would happen if I let the feelings I knew I had for Chang Min grow? Would he ever be able to replace Yun Ho?

I kept having these thoughts and the first night I was settled into the bed of the spare room I couldn’t sleep. It felt odd not having his possessive arms around me, and when I finally drifted into a restless sleep it was filled with nightmares.

In the dream he beat me. He beat me so hard I couldn’t breathe, called me a fool for ever leaving him and screamed that he couldn’t love me anymore. I was helpless, so helpless as I choked, and kicked at him and grabbed with my hands. I remember wishing and hoping that he would just kill me...

It felt so real and I woke with a scream, body shaking and sweating and not calming down until I was wrapped in Yoo Chun’s comforting arms.

The second night I dreamt again. I was walking down the street by our apartment, and Yun Ho was there. I smiled, walking up to him and called out his name. Called, and called and called, but no matter how many times I said his name he didn’t turn to look at or acknowledge me. I shoved him from behind, pushed him, slapped him on the face and when he turned to me with a confused look I punched him. Wiped the stupid look off of his face and took out all my anger and frustration on his body. Payback felt good.

Now it was 11 o’clock on a Wednesday morning and I was sitting in the kitchen of Yoo Chun and Jun Su’s apartment with nothing to do. Yoo Chun was spending the day at his father’s company, sorting out some things for him, and Jun Su was at his part time job tutoring other students, which I had not known about.

So I was stuck alone in the apartment all day by myself. Their apartment was nice and much larger than Yun Ho and mine. I supposed Yoo Chun could afford it. It made me wonder more about them. There was so much I still didn’t know and yet I had decided to come and stay with them. I decided to stay with them over moving back home, or maybe even turning to someone like Chang Min. I knew though that moving in with Chang Min would have been the worst thing I could do, something I couldn’t do to poor Chang Min, who had already put up with enough from me.

I simply needed time alone to gather my thoughts and think about my life.

I put my empty cup on the sink in the bright kitchen and vowed to wash it and the other dishes sometime that day. I walked slowly down the carpeted hall and into the spare room, picking up my phone from the bedside table and detaching it from its charger. I had received 3 messages and had two missed calls since the last time I checked it, which was that morning when I woke up.

Have a good day, Jae, I didn’t want to wake you. Help yourself to anything as per usual and I’ll see you when I get home. Remember, you live there now too.
xoxo Chun
Sender: Park Yoo Chun
Time: 9:22 am

I love you, Jaejoongah. Have a good day.
Sender: Yunnie
Time: 9:56 am

Jae, please don’t just sit around moping all day~ See you this afternoon :)
Sender: Kim Jun Su
Time: 10:37 am

I smiled at all three of the messages, a strange feeling of longing spiking through my body at Yun Ho’s message. He had sent me the exact same message everyday that we had ever been apart.

I walked back out into the lounge room, deciding maybe to watch TV or read a book. I checked my missed calls as I went, and my heart skipped a beat as I noticed that one was from Yun Ho and one was from Chang Min.

I wasn’t going to talk to either of them, not this soon.

***

It was just past lunch time when my peace was disturbed. I had decided to read a book, laying down on one of the comfortable couches by the window and catching up on some Harry Potter under the warm rays of the sun.

There was a knock to the door and I got up wearily. Half annoyed, half apprehensive I made my way to the door, hoping I wasn’t going to alarm any of Yoo Chun or Jun Su’s friends.

I turned the handle, not once thinking that it could be him behind the door.

“J-Jae Joong?” Chang Min asked incredulously. “What are you doing here?” he moved towards me and I backed quickly into the apartment, lost for words and nervously smoothing my hair behind my ears.

He stopped with his hands on his hips, waiting for an answer.

“Did he... do anythin-”

“No!” I said firmly, sighing and closing the apartment door, Chang Min’s eyes still on me. “I’m staying here for...a while.” I said, not really sure myself how long I would be living with Yoo Chun and Jun Su.

His eyes widened. “Why?”

“I...” I paused, sitting down on the couch and indicating for him to do so as well. “I... broke up with Yun Ho... I mean... we’re just taking time apart.”

“What?” he asked quietly, almost the opposite reaction I had come to expect in situations like this. He looked into my eyes with a mixture of hurt and confusion.

“Jae Joong,” he said quietly, trying to take my hand in his but I quickly moved it away, denying him.

“That doesn’t mean, Chang Min, that you and I...” I stopped, looking out the window by my side with a sigh.

“Do you think you made a mistake, Jae Joong?” Chang Min asked, his words choked with sadness and pain.

“I told you I didn’t,” I almost hissed. “I told you I needed time!”

I let my head rest in my hands, not looking at Chang Min. I did not want to get emotional at this moment, did not want to go through this right now. I couldn’t deal with my problems just yet.

“Why are you here, anyway?” I asked, hoping to change the subject as I sat up with a sigh.

“I needed to see Jun Su...I...I...”

I looked up into his eyes to see tears there, and I knew I wasn’t their cause.

“Chang Min... what’s wrong?”

“Nothing Jae Joong... just...”

He moved quickly, almost in desperation, taking me in his arms and attaching his lips to mine. I let out a small groan of protest, trying to break free from his grip.

I could feel his hot tears drop onto my face as he lowered me down on the couch. They rolled down my face and into my open mouth as our tongues fought for dominance.

I gasped as he ground his hips down to meet mine, each move he made reflecting his unstable emotional state.

I kissed him back, my body and mind too tired for conflict, at that moment I would do anything to just be loved. Loved forever and I could see that Chang Min was willing to give me that. He had never hurt me, and that was more than I could say for Yun Ho. My mind was just so torn...

He panted heavily, standing up and shedding his shirt, revealing his flat chest and now erect nipples. I stood up too, taking off my own shirt and attacking Chang Min’s lips again, backing him in the direction of the hall and my room as I looked into his eyes.

There I saw want, and lust, greed and so much more, but most of all I saw love. I saw the love that was bursting from his body, the love that said, I will protect you, I will always be here for you, and I will never hurt you.

I could tell something else was on his mind too, and I wanted to do everything in my power to take his mind off of it. I felt a slight pang of guilt as I realised that this would be the second time we had done this, and that I secretly relished in the fact.

We made it to the bedroom and I backed him onto the bed, falling in between his legs, planting one last desperate kiss to his mouth before trailing my tongue down the side of his face and to his neck.

At the same time I reached for the zipper of his jeans, kneading his already hard member through the thick material. He gasped slightly, pulling away but sitting up and bringing his mouth to mine yet again. He instead reached for my own pants, undoing them for me and putting his hand down them teasingly slow, slipping his digits past the waistband of my boxers and around my now aching cock.

I let out a loud moan, closing my eyes in delight as I sank back onto the bed under his touch. He slipped my pants and boxers off of my legs and over the side of the bed, teasing with his hands up and down my thighs. I bucked into his touch, head tossed to the side as I gasped for breath.

I spread my legs for him and he wasted no time, placing a teasing lick to the weeping head of my cock before taking the whole tip in his mouth, sucking as if it were some treat.

I panted and gasped, quickly coming near to my orgasm as his tongue worked wonders on my cock. I had to wonder if he had done this before.

He raised his right hand up to my mouth and I took his index finger with my tongue, mimicking his own sucks and licks. I released his fingers from my mouth and moments later I felt them tracing around my entrance, a wet finger sliding in to stretch me.

I pushed down on his finger, gasping and closing my eyes as he added another and scissored them inside of me.

“Chang Min...” I moaned his name as I felt I was so close to coming, so close... “Please... inside me...”

I moaned slightly from the loss of his mouth around me but soon felt my body quiver with anticipation as I could feel the tip of his cock at my entrance.

I locked my eyes with his, looked at him as I felt every inch of him make its way inside of me. He let out a grunt of satisfaction as he lay down on top of me, pushing himself in to the hilt.

We continued to stare into each other’s eyes, a bright and loving smile forming on his lips as he hooked his arms around my legs. I nodded, and he pulled out slowly, and thrusted back in forcefully.

He continued in this fashion, loud grunts falling from his lips as my small whimpers of pain mixed with pleasure left my own mouth. He quickened his pace, throwing back his head every now and then, but always returning to look at me.

I started to move my body upwards, meeting his own thrusts and bringing him further into me. A choked scream rose above the sounds of our sweat slicked bodies slapping against each other as he hit my prostate.

“Oh god...just there,” I panted, as our bodies moved together desperately. I could feel that he was close, and I looked up into his eyes with a shaky smile.

He thrust into me once more before I came, his lips attacking mine as soon as my hoarse scream left them. He came soon after, and we lay against each other on the bed, a sweaty panting mess.

He pulled out of me slowly, and I stood up to go to the bathroom and clean myself off. He stood up after me, sliding his arms around my naked waist and resting his head on my shoulder. I could feel his warm breath at my ear, and I closed my eyes with a contented sigh.

“I love you.” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

***

I had been worrying about Jae Joong all day. I hardly payed attention to the questions the kids asked me, only directing them to the answer in the textbook and not being my usual helpful self.

I remember checking on him before leaving that morning, smiling at how peaceful he looked asleep in bed. Yoo Chun told me that he had been having nightmares. I almost cried for Jae. No one deserved to be that scared of another human being. Let alone someone that was supposed to love you, and take care of you. I just felt so lucky I had someone like Yoo Chun. And I believe that Jae Joong is lucky to have people like us too.

I sent him a text message during the day but he didn’t reply. To tell you the truth I was a little worried about him. He hadn’t been staying with us long, I know, but he was still awkward around us and spent all his time doing nothing. I could only imagine the thoughts that must be running through his head.

When I had agreed to let him stay with us, I had wanted to be there next to him every second, so he wouldn’t hurt himself or do anything stupid, but he told me to trust him. Of course I had to trust him, as he trusted Yoo Chun and I so easily after seemingly betraying him. I had a sickening feeling that he placed all his blame on Yun Ho.

Another reason for my worry was Chang Min. Neither Jae Joong nor Chang Min had told me what exactly happened between them, but I had a feeling it was more than just the kissing I saw the other day.

I decided to come home early that day, apologising and getting out of my last two tutoring sessions for the afternoon.

As I made my way home I thought about many things. I doubt Chang Min had told Jae Joong what he did besides go to university. A sharp laugh left my mouth as I imagined what that would do for them. Chang Min had a bad habit of lying to Yoo Chun and I. The reason I had met him in the first place was because we were both... well... prostitutes.

I instantly took a liking to Chang Min, taking care of him and always being there for him. I eventually got out of the business, swearing never to return again, but there were times when I was desperate.

One time I went back and Chang Min wasn’t there. Over the years I learnt that he went back and forth between the city and his parent’s country home, always hoping for some normalcy with his family.

I entered our apartment with a smile, setting my things down on the kitchen bench with a sigh and taking off my shoes. I noticed the dishes on the sink and rolled my eyes. Walking further into the apartment I noticed Yoo Chun’s copy of the latest Harry Potter left open on the floor by the far windows.

With a small frown I went to pick it up, knowing that there would be hell to pay if Chunnie came home and found it like that. I wondered where Jae was, and placing the book back on the shelf, walked down the hall quietly, not wanting to disturb him if he was resting.

I stopped in front of the third door on the right, which was slightly ajar. I could hear voices murmuring from within. I pushed it ever so slightly, saying a loud and obvious “Hello?”

“Chang Min? Jae Joong?”

There was a scuffle of feet as Chang Min grabbed the sheets from the bed to cover himself and Jae.

I could not believe what I was seeing. I thought Jae had come here to get away from the people he had feelings so, or so he told me. I was so angry.

“WHAT is going on?” I practically yelled, turning on the lights in the room.

“Jun Su, calm down,” Chang Min said, still standing protectively in front of Jae Joong.

“No, Chang Min! He’s staying with us to have time to sort out his problems! You are not making things any better, in fact you’re making them worse!”

I pointed an accusing finger at him, eyes wide with disbelief. “And you Jae Joong!” I shouted, turning on him, feeling so betrayed.

“You said that I could trust you!”

I narrowed my eyes when I received no response. What was I going to have to do to help these people? “Why are you even here Chang Min?” I asked exasperatedly.

He looked off to the side at nothing in particular, before his mouth opened and the words slowly trickled out. “I just needed to...see you...”

My mouth fell open in shock and I looked at Jae Joong who wasn’t understanding the situation at all.

“Does he know?” I asked firmly, taking one last look at the confused Jae Joong before rounding on Chang Min again.

I was about to explode from the amount of anger I was feeling right at this moment. Chang Min only “needs to see me” if he has had a rough night at work. He only ever “needs to see me” if he needs comfort after talking to any member of his family. I was the one he always came to, and I sat and watched as his life fell apart, and helped him stick it back together. If he came here to see me then something bad had happened.

“You can’t keep doing this Chang Min!” I screeched. “I know what you’ve been through! It’s not safe!”

I could feel my tears coming on, I knew I was going to cry. I can’t believe him, I can’t believe Chang Min. After all these years of looking out for him and trying to tell him what was best he still managed to get into these kinds of situations.

My thoughts were interrupted by Jae Joong, now fully dressed, with a mixed look of confusion and hurt on his face.

“W-what’s going on?” he asked, lip trembling.

I gave Chang Min a dark look, crossing my arms. I didn’t want to be the evil one in this situation. I would let Chang Min do the confessing himself.

“Joongie there’s... something I haven’t told you...about me.” Chang Min paused, trying to find the right words.

I felt sorry for Jae Joong, noticing his scared expression and ragged breathing. I could only imagine the thoughts running through his head at this moment.

“There’s not a lot you don’t know... about me,” he paused again, taking a few steps toward Jae Joong. “Because we haven’t known each other for that long.”

Jae Joong simply nodded, holding his left arm nervously.

“I...”

***

I wandered aimlessly through the park, having left work with no intention of heading straight home. The apartment just seemed so empty... without him. I can’t believe I had let him go. But I knew what was going on in the beautiful mind of his... if I could put him at ease, just for a moment, and then as soon as he came back to me I could take him away with me again, take him away so he would never have to worry about anything or anyone but me...

He told me he was going to go and stay with Yoo Chun and Jun Su. I had only nodded numbly, not feeling any guilt about what I did with them but only slight anger for the fact that he had caught me.

I had sent him a text message every day so far, the same that I had sent him every day we had ever been apart since we had been together.

I love you Jae Joong...

“I love you Jae Joong!”

I was startled out of my daze by the shout and I whirled around in disbelief to see Chang Min, walking hurriedly after Jae Joong. My Jae Joong.

Jae Joong stopped in his tracks turning around to face Chang Min with tears in his eyes.

“Stop saying that! If you loved me you would have told me something like that!”

Something like what? My brain wondered over top of all the hate and anger and sadness I was feeling at that one moment. I stayed back, peering over a thick bunch of bushes at the boys, who had not noticed me yet.

Just what the fuck was going on? Chang Min loved Jae Joong? That little prick was going to pay...I could just see how much pain he was causing my Joongie.

Jae Joong turned to walk forward again, but Chang Min caught him by the arm.

“Jae Joong... I’m so sorry, it was for your... protection... baby I didn’t want you to try and help me I just...”

I could see Jae scoff in disbelief and try to wipe away the tears streaming down his face. “Get away from me, you disgust me!”

“What do you want me to do, Jae? Do you want me to tell the world, tell anyone the moment I meet them? Hey, nice to meet you, I’m Chang Min I’m in uni, oh and yeah, I whore myself out to pay my tuition! Some things are better left unsaid!”

I could practically feel my heart break in two as I saw Jae falter, before placing his arms around Chang Min lightly and kissing him on the lips.

“I’m sorry.”

The anger coursing through my body at that moment was unbelievable. Did Jae Joong break up with me for Chang Min? He really didn’t care about us or me at all? I thought he loved me with all his being?

Jae Joong was going to pay. Chang Min was going to pay. No one takes what is mine away from me.

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 10

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 05:57:17 GMT

A/N: Jajaaaa~~~

Chapter 10

I had to wonder. Did Yun Ho suspect anything? About Chang Min and I? Anything at all? Wasn’t that the reason he had beaten me a couple of weeks ago? I almost laughed aloud when I thought this.

Chang Min had confronted Yun Ho twice, practically wanting to kill him. What did Yun Ho do? Didn’t come to me like he usually would have.

You’re fucking cheating. Don’t lie to me.

He said that we would get help. Why did he want to get help? It confused me. I thought that he loved me and we didn’t need help, and then all of a sudden he decides we should. And then he cheats on me. And then says we should get help. Like what he did reinforced the idea? That he realises he loves me and doesn’t want things to get worse?

I know I must sound so stupid... but what happened to Yun Ho? When did he stop being angry, and start being calm? Why is he doing this?

It just confuses me so much, he confuses me so much. That is why I made the decision. I needed to get away from him, away from both of the people that I have feelings for. I would get help, for him, but then I would need time on my own, to sort things out by myself.

***

I walked into the comfortable looking office, taking a seat in the plush chair and giving the doctor a large smile. I was nervous, and I suppose, him being a psychiatrist and all would be able to sense that. Yun Ho wasn’t here, and I didn’t want him to know about this either. I was doing it for him, wanted him to see the changes in me. But what could it really do?

Even if I was going to break up with him, he needed to see that I was changing and that eventually everything would be alright. Everything was going to be alright.

“So, Mr Kim... uh... may I call you Jae Joong?” he asked, and I nodded my approval as he took a seat in the armchair in the middle of the room, across from mine.

“How about you tell me a little about yourself,”

I took a deep breath, knowing he would ask something like this. Days earlier I had formulated a response in my head.

“My name is Kim Jae Joong, I am 21 years old and I attend University here in the city, majoring in English.”

“I see,” he said, already taking notes in his book, something, I noticed, that all of a sudden seemed to make me nervous.

“What do you like to do in your spare time, Jae Joong?”

I shifted in my seat, a small smile coming to my lips.

“Read, write, watch TV, spend time with friends, sing...”

“You seem not so sure about the last few,” he said, pen pausing over the paper.

“I...uh...I just don’t do that very often,” I laughed slightly, shifting in my seat again.

“Who do you spend most of your time with?”

I looked down at my feet, crossing my arms and legs. “My boyfriend,”

“I see.” he wrote something down, and looked up again. “Just so you know Jae Joong, I have nothing wrong with that,”

“Oh,” I smiled, relaxing slightly. “Well, he’s the problem,”

“He’s the problem, Jae Joong? Is he what you want to talk about today?”

“Well... I guess...”

I paused, thinking for a moment. What did he mean? Of course I loved Yun Ho but he was my ‘problem’ in a sense. There wasn’t really anything wrong with me, right? It all came from him. It was all about him, right?

***

I sat in the darkness of my apartment, listening to the messages on my phone that I hadn’t checked for a few days. The one from Jae, a frantic one from Junsu that now made sense and then...

“This is Chang Min, sorry I can‘t get to the phone right now. Just leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you.”

“Yah, Chang Min, I had a good time last night so uh... same time next week? Just call me back, my number is...”

I inhaled sharply, mentally kicking myself. I hadn’t been there for Jae and this was why. I hadn’t been able to stop him from attempting suicide and it was all because I was a whore. A filthy whore who sold himself to make ends meet, to pay his way through University and keep a roof over his head so he didn’t have to go back to his monsters of parents.

I swore I was never going to end up like them. Just leave them back in that stupid little town with their own misfortune. I ran away, but always came back, always hoped that things would change. I knew they never would.

That was when I met Jun Su. He was just as unfortunate as me, but he had Yoo Chun. His rich, cool, handsome boyfriend who didn’t know anything about what Jun Su did.

Yoo Chun saved him from that long ago and quite often they try to take care of me, but I tell them that I am a big boy, and I can handle things on my own. Maybe I should listen to them for once.

If I want to be there for someone else, to protect them, him, I need to first take care of myself. This was far from taking care of myself.

I sighed, lying back on the bed and began to cry for what seemed like the millionth time in the past few years of my life.

Ever since Jae came into my life, and I can’t believe it was such a short time ago - things have been different. I looked forward to the next day, looked forward to the next time I could see Jae, the next time I could make him smile or laugh, or the next time I could touch him... just be close...

I had instantly found something about him attractive... whether it be his looks or his demeanour or his personality...

And then, like everything else in my life, something had to go wrong. Luck was never on my side, the world just wanted to fuck with me. There was always an obstacle in my way, and this time the obstacle was called Yun Ho.

***

“Oh, you’re home honey, where did you go?” I said, putting on a smile.

I felt proud of myself for the restraint I was showing, knowing that it would put Jae at ease. I could feel a change in my self, a slight one, that all this faking had brought about.

I remembered what it used to be like for us. I was faking then too, but it had been nice to finally let go, finally show him what he did to me. I loved him.

“Oh, nowhere,” he shrugged. “Just went for a walk around the city, you know,”

I smiled. Don’t lie to me Jae Joong. I can tell when you’re lying.

“Oh, that’s nice,” I motioned for him to sit down next to me on the couch, and I put my arms around him, taking his hand in mine.

“How was your day?” he asked.

“It was alright,” I shrugged with a sigh. “Busy.” and we both left it at that. I knew the details of my work at the café would bore him. Besides, I just wanted to spend time with him.

We sat there for a while, him folded in my arms and all I could hear was his steady breathing. I looked down to see his eyes were closed, but he looked far from happy or content. Before I could say a word he opened his mouth.

“You know how you said... we would get help?” he said slowly, as if he himself didn’t really know what he was saying, but I could tell this was something he had been thinking of talking about for quite some time.

I sat up straight, pulling him with me and turning to face him, indicating that he had my full attention. “Yes...?”

“Well, I...” he looked away for a moment, as if almost deciding that what he was going to say wasn’t important. I could always tell when he was lying but I was no mind reader. Right now I didn’t know what was going on, and it scared me.

“W-what is it Joongie? Is something wrong?”

I felt that feeling start to bubble up inside me. No. Nothing was wrong, nothing is going to happen to us. I am fine and he is fine and we are fine... He doesn’t have the right to make me feel this way...

He took a deep breath, and began talking very quickly.

“Well, I went and saw someone. They suggested what I thought was right all along. I know you’re going to be upset but it will show how much we love each other in the end...”

No. I felt my whole body tremble.

“I’m breaking up with you. We need time apart.”

I sat in shock, trying to simply comprehend his words. Ever since we had moved to this city I knew things would not turn out well for us. I had become too soft, become to accommodating. I knew that if I had been like this in the past I would have lost Jae... and then I thought that by acting differently it would make him stay... and now there was nothing I could do...

“No! Jae Joong...I love you, please don’t do this to me!”

I stood up, pacing the room as he stayed seated on the couch. I could feel my anger heating up. He couldn’t do this to me.

“After all we’ve been through! You will not leave me!”

By now I was shouting, not even looking at him, just letting my words reverberate around the small apartment and out into the city. He sat there placidly, watching me pace with a blank expression on his face.

“Don’t you love me too?” I grabbed him by the shoulders. “Say something!”

I could feel the tears sliding down my cheeks and cursed as I let go of him before shaking him slightly. I turned my back on him, walking towards the large window on the far side of the apartment and wiped my tears away.

“I’ve already made arrangements.” he said softly. “If you’re going to be like this then I won’t tell you who with.”

I turned back to him, a disgusted look on my face. Since when did he talk to me like this? Since when had he taken me for granted, wanted to leave me and the love and protection I offered?

I stood in front of him, chest heaving as I grabbed him harshly by the arm and pulled him over to the light of the window. He looked questioningly into my eyes.

“You are mine,” I said slowly, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt, tracing my fingers over the fading bruises and his own self inflicted scars. I could feel him tremble under my touch, and it sent a shiver down my own spine. I slipped my other hand under his shirt, gently stroking up and down his chest, over the marks that I knew were still there.

“I am the only one who can do this to you... and I am the only one who will ever truly love you,”

"The Mystery of Rose Petal Manor" - Chapter 1

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 03:51:33 GMT

A/N: This is the second fic I ever started writing. I wrote three and a bit chapters, and haven't done much else with it for quite some time. It's supposed to funny and also kinda scary / mysterious. LOL enjoy.

Arrival at Rose Petal Manor.

Yunho, Jae Joong, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin stared in awe at the luscious grounds that surrounded them. This place was huge. They had only been here once before, and for some reason then it hadn’t seemed this big. Living here was going to be a blast.

They had decided to walk up the long dirt driveway this first time, as a sort of ‘moving into the house’ ceremony. With great difficulty the closed the heavy iron gates and stood staring at the looming building in the distance.

“Wow... it’s so big.” Junsu said, voicing everyone’s thoughts. He removed his hat, lightly shaking his hair whilst running his hands through it, refreshing himself after their long journey. He pulled the cap back down over his face, shielding his eyes from the unusually bright winter sun. “Well come on...” he said turning back to see the other four still staring at the huge old house. “What are you waiting for?”

Their things had been sent here by the removalists the previous day. All they had to do was unpack and settle into their new home!

They started up the long driveway at a cautious pace, Jae Joong pulling the keys from his back pocket. As they neared the house, each made an observation.

“It’s five stories high!” Yunho exclaimed, shading his face from the sun with his hand, to gain a better look.

“The grounds go on forever...” Jae sighed wistfully, twirling the keys in his hand.

“There are goldfish in that pond... how cute.” Junsu said, smiling contentedly to himself.

“It’s taking forever to just get to the house. I’m not walking up this driveway again.” Micky whinged, kicking the dirt as he walked.

The only one left to talk was Changmin. He made the weirdest comment of all.
“There’s rose petals everywhere.” he said, pointing to the scattered red and pink petals that lined the driveway and covered the grand entrance.

“Oh, so there is,” Jae said, reaching the front door and turning around.
“Maybe that’s why it’s called ... Rose Petal Manor,” he said slowly, reading the faded plaque on the side of the stone building.

He took a breath and put his hands together in front of his chest, acquiring the ‘I’m about to say something to you all that is either sentimental/cheesy or important.’ position.

“Ok, so here we are!” he said excitedly, a wide grin breaking out on his delicate face. “A new house, a new part of our life!” He held the key up for everyone to see.
“Ready?” he shook the key teasingly in mid air.

“Just open the damn door, I want to get inside.” Changmin snapped, looking unimpressed.

Rolling his eyes, Jae stuck the old key into the lock of the large wooden double doors. He pulled them back to reveal a grand entrance flanked by sweeping flights of stairs.

“Wow...” the boys chorused as they stepped into the hall, their feet breaking the fine film of dust that seemed to cling to everything.

It was obvious no one had lived there for a very long time; the decor was from about a hundred years ago. All the furniture was covered in sheets, that were also covered in dust.

Jae walked up the hall, inspecting the old portraits that lined the walls. Each was in an exquisite frame, roses carved into the gold plated sides. He lent forward, blowing away the dust to reveal something written on the side of the picture. “Rose 001...” he murmured, moving onto the next. On that one it said ‘Rose 002’ and this continued in a similar fashion along the passage.

That’s a bit weird, Jae thought, turning around to find he had lost the other four. They had obviously gone exploring. He turned back down the passage towards the front of the house. Stepping back into the light flowing through the front door, he noticed that everyone was outside.

“Get off!” he heard Changmin shout. He stepped out into the cool air to find Junsu wrestling Changmin to the ground. They were fighting already.

“Taste Rose!!” Junsu squealed, smashing Changmin’s face into the grass at the end of the path, covering them both in bright red rose petals.

“What’s going on?” Jae asked, walking up to Yunho and Yoochun who were standing on the sidelines, arms crossed, watching.

“Hmmm...?” Yunho asked, turning slightly, not wanting to miss the action. “Oh, I think Changmin insulted Junsu’s sense of dress... I dunno, but it’s funny.” he chuckled.

As he walked away, Junsu scooped up some more petals and showered them over Changmin who batted them away coughing and spluttering. He walked past Yoochun whom he gave a high five before strolling casually back into their new home.

The other three turned and walked away after Junsu, jogging up the stone steps and into the house. As they went they could still hear Changmin shouting.

“I HATE Roses! Are you just going to leave me here?” he sat, pouting.

Back inside the house, Junsu started jogging up the stairs. “Hey Su, what was that all about?” Jae called, following him up. On the second floor Junsu turned around with a mischievous grin.

“He said the roses were freaking him out,” all the boys burst out laughing, Yunho and Yoochun joining them upstairs. “Let’s suss this place out,” Junsu continued, looking through the wide windows and across the grounds at Changmin who had finally picked himself up, brushing off the last of the petals. “He’ll come ‘round eventually.”

The boys continued up the hall, Yunho and Jae opening a few doors here and there, and finally heading up the next set of stairs onto the third level, letting Yoochun and Junsu fall behind.

They walked slowly down the hall, occasionally stopping to wipe the dust off of something or look through an open door. Yoochun kept on looking nervously from the ground to Junsu, smiling excitedly.

“So... new house... new life?” he chuckled. Junsu looked at him warily and put on a smile.

“Uh yeah... so where do you spose they put our stuff?” Junsu asked. He hadn’t seen any of their belongings yet, and the movers were supposed to have dropped them off yesterday.

“It’s probably around here somewhere.” Yoochun replied, moving closer to Junsu. He linked arms with him and Junsu rested his head on his broad shoulder. “Have you thought about what I said?”

Junsu quickly let go of Yoochun’s arm, turning to face him.

“I love you, Junsu. I think now is a good time for everyone to know that.”

In reply, Junsu simply smiled and took Yoochun’s hand in his. As they continued up the hall Jae Joong called “Come see this!” The pair moved swiftly up the stairs and through the first open door of the third floor.

Inside, Yunho pulled open thick dusty curtains to reveal an enormous window that stretched from ceiling to floor. On one side of the room was a large bookcase, filled with old books, and opposite that was a carved stone fireplace. The third wall of the room was stacked with boxes of their things. It was the biggest room of the house the boys had seen yet, so they decided to make it their living room.

A few hours later and the five had been up and down the entire house, not finding much else. They ended up back in the living room, where they began to unpack their things and sort out who’s was what.

“Anyone seen the vacuum cleaner?” asked Yoochun. “I need to give this place a good clean before I die of sneezing!”

He sneezed loudly, sending up little clouds of dust. “See what I mean?”

“Uh, yeah, it’s in that box in the corner, under the one that says ‘FAN MAIL’,” Jae said, lips pursed and eyes narrowed at the computer that he was trying to set up.

“Need some help with that?” Yunho asked, noticing that Jae was struggling somewhat.

“Nope! There we go!” Jae yelled excitedly as the computer started up and they were greeting with the sweet sound of Windows opening.

“Well done.” Yunho smiled, moving away to the door just as Changmin came in it with a sour look on his face. He was holding up a large plastic bag of what seemed to be dead roses.

“These were in my room.” he spat throwing Junsu a dirty look. Junsu didn’t look around but chuckled to himself from the dusty couch by the fireplace.

Changmin rolled his eyes at Yunho and settled down by the pile of boxes, throwing the bag of dead flowers at their makeshift bin and missing. He started rummaging through the boxes and so Yunho decided to take down the curtains. They were filthy, and would need a wash.

Jae was pre occupied with the computer, Changmin was finding his things, Yoochun could be heard vacuuming his room upstairs and Junsu was immersed in the same book he had been on the long journey here. It had been a long day.

After taking down the curtains and leaving them in the hall, (he couldn’t wash them until their washing machine got there... which they discovered hadn’t been delivered with everything else.) Yunho had nothing to do.

He decided that he would try and find some wood, and, if he was man enough, start a fire. He had never had a fireplace before and was looking forward to cuddling up with someone next to the radiating heat of the glowing fire...

Yunho stepped outside into the chilly air. He checked his watch, finding that it was almost five o’clock. Things had cooled down quite a bit and he was glad he had thought of starting a fire now before it was too dark and too cold. He didn’t want to be alone and cold in that creepy place. He hoped he wasn’t the only one who thought it was creepy... why had they moved here again?

He smiled smugly to himself, finding a nice pile of chopped wood by the back door. It would be annoying to have to take wood up two flights of stairs though. As he bent down to pick up the wood, he felt as if someone was watching him. He quickly turned around, looking about the thin line of trees that separated the backyard from the rest of the grounds. No one there. He was probably just imagining things. Maybe it was just this house, how old and scary it looked, like it belonged in a horror movie.

He piled as much firewood into his arms as he could carry and started the trek around the house and up to the third floor. As he made it to the door, Yoochun bounded down the stairs, returning from vacuuming his room.

“What’s that for?” he asked stupidly, opening the door for the burdened Yunho. “There’s a fireplace, we may as well use it.” Yunho grunted, almost losing a few logs. He dumped them on the ground by the fireplace and plopped onto the couch by Junsu, who was still reading. “It’s not even that cold.” Yoochun continued, taking a seat on the other side of Junsu.

Yunho stood up, brushing dust and bark off of his shirt. “Have you been out there lately? It’s going to get a lot colder. Anyway, the forecast for tomorrow is heavy rain... maybe even snow,” he gave a quick glance around the room for effect. “Do you see any heaters in here?”

Smiling smugly, Yunho grabbed Yoochun by the arm and pulled him outside to get more firewood. Neither wanted to tell the other, but they were just happy not being alone in that house.

They returned to the room to find Junsu and Changmin standing behind Jae, looking over his shoulder at the computer.

“...and then there’s this one...” Jae said, clicking the mouse.
“Very nice, hyung.” Junsu giggled, not able to take Jae’s camwhore ways seriously. He went to move away but was stopped by a persistent Jae. “No, wait! You haven’t seen them all!”
“Hyung, we see enough of you everyday...” Changmin whined.

Yunho and Yoochun knelt beside the fireplace, trying to figure out how they were going to keep themselves warm.

“Ok, you need paper...” Yunho said, instructing Yoochun, as he was too scared of starting the fire himself.
“Check.”
“Kindling...”
“Check.”
“Matches...”
“Check.”
“...and wood!”
“Check.”
“You’re ready to start fires...!” he said, standing up and patting Yoochun on the head, leaving him to his own devices.

Yunho had been wanting to spend some time with Jae today... he hadn’t had the chance for almost a week, but at this current moment it seemed Jae was self-obsessing. It was hard to deal with him during those times...

Everyone seemed to be sticking to themselves. The reason they all moved here was to get closer right? His thoughts were sidetracked though, by a loud grumble that rose up from his stomach. It was almost six o’clock, and no one had thought of dinner.

“Oh, someone’s hungry!” giggled Jae, finally detaching himself from the computer. “Let’s go make dinner.” he said, wrapping his arm around Yunho and leading him out the door.

After the boys had been stuffed to the brim with Jae’s wondrous cooking they had all retired back to the living room, deciding to watch a scary movie. Yunho hadn’t been too fond of the idea, he was already scared enough of this place. He hoped he would get used to it soon.

The five boys lay squished together on the rickety couch, their back to the fireplace as they watched the young girl on the screen make the foolish (and stereotypical) choice of going upstairs to investigate instead of running outside or calling for help.

A scared Changmin covered his eyes and grabbed Junsu’s arm, not caring about their dispute earlier that day, moving closer for comfort. On the other side of Junsu was Yoochun, who gave Changmin a little annoyed look for getting close to his man, but his displeasure was interrupted by a violent scream from the TV - the murderer had obviously caught up with the afore mentioned young girl.

Jae squeezed his eyes shut tight and clung to Yunho as the masked mad man hacked the defenceless victim to pieces, blood and guts flying everywhere. Just as he had finished and moved on to find his next hiding victim, the screen went blank and everything went pitch black.

An eerie light was cast over the room from behind them by the glowing coals of the smouldering fire.

“What just happened?” Jae asked, opening his eyes.
“I don’t know...” Yunho said, pushing random buttons on the new TV. “I think there must be a power failure.”
“Well that settles it.” Changmin squeaked. “I am so sleeping with one of you guys tonight!”

Yunho stood up and went to flick the light switch.
“Yep. Definitely no power.” he sighed.

He motioned for them to join him in pulling the couch back around to face the fireplace. He grabbed another log, stoking up the fire, ensuring their warmth for the night.

“Hey, how about we all just stay here for the night?” Jae suggested. “I mean, it’s probably freezing in our rooms... and after watching that movie, I really don’t want to be by myself tonight.” he looked shyly at Yunho who caught his gaze and smiled.

Running quickly to their rooms, each a little freaked out, they grabbed their pillows and quilts, and set up camp in front of the warm fire. Cuddling up together and closing their eyes, they drifted off to sleep, their heartbeats mirroring the steady rhythm of the pelting rain.

"Under" - Chapter 10

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 08:18:27 GMT

A/N: It's been over two months since I updated this. I am soooo sorry. As you can see I've been busy with other fics lol xD

Chapter 10

Changmin sat on the edge of the bed, too scared to move or go anywhere. He wasn’t comfortable sleeping anymore, and he knew that Jaejoong would be angry if he just pretended.

He looked around the small room, noticing the old fashioned dresser made out of the same dark mahogany as the four poster bed he was on. The room was bare apart from the dresser, the bed and a couple of chairs and a table.

There were no personal items anywhere, no trinkets or pictures hanging on the wall. Changmin wondered if this was Jae’s room. He wondered if it had ever felt like a home to him. How long had he lived here for? How long had he been in the hospital?

How the hell had he got caught up in all this? Was he going to turn him into a vampire, or just have some fun with him and then kill him?

Changmin shuddered at the thought, getting up and walking the few paces to the window that was hidden behind dark red velvet curtains. He had slept for most of the day, waking every now and then to find Jae sitting in one of the random chairs around the room, just staring at him.

Now, it was late afternoon and Changmin could see large sprawling grounds bathed in an orange light, trees swaying in a light breeze.

Something struck him on the inside when he realised that Jae could never experience this. If he joined him he wouldn’t ever be able to feel the sun on his skin again, never feel its warmth...

“I can, you know.” he heard whispered from behind him.

Changmin turned slowly to find Jaejoong standing in the doorway, smirk on his face.

“I can feel warmth. I can feel the sun. When everyone else is asleep I stand by the window and drink it in. Of course, I could go outside, but if I stayed out there for too long I think I would “die” I mean, I’ve never tried it before.”

Changmin opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again as Jae made his way across the room.

He chuckled slightly, sitting down on the bed and looking up at Changmin thoughtfully.

“I don’t get this. I don’t get you.” Changmin sighed. He looked past Jae, staring at nothing as he continued to voice his thoughts. “I don’t get why I’m not frightened...I have so many questions but I just...”
He looked down at Jae, his expression unreadable.

“How long where you in there for?” he asked all of a sudden.

“That doesn’t matter now Changmin. All that matters now is that I’m back home. I need to set things straight.”

~*~

“What are you thinking Jaejoong?”

“You know perfectly well what I’m thinking. You can do that, remember?”

“Don’t be like this, Jae,” Yunho pleaded, placing his hand on the other vampire’s shoulder, stepping up with him on the ledge of the roof. He looked out over grounds of the estate, heart filling with mixed feelings as he remembered the times he had shared with Jae. With everyone here.

“Do you remember what it was like to be...human?” Jaejoong asked quietly, not turning to look at his companion as he spoke.

“It’s hard to forget, Jae Joong. I do remember that once I was with you, after a while I did. Forget, I mean...but now everyday I live with the knowledge of what we are, where we are and where we’re going. It’s hard not to spend moments agonising over the past.”

Jae Joong turned suddenly, coming face to face with his lover. “We can be together forever. You and I have limitless time to explore each other, explore the world, and live together. It’s so unfathomable, Yunho.”

He chuckled, gently caressing the younger one’s face. “And I’ve been a vampire for who knows how long?”

“That’s the thing Jaejoong. That’s what I want to talk to you about.”

Jaejoong smirked, stepping off of the ledge and into Yunho’s arms.

They had all thought about it at some point. All thought about it for those last seconds that they were human too. Was it worth it? Do I really want to live forever? What will it be like?

In the end, the temptation eventually wins out. Life throws you this opportunity, and you’ll be fucked if you don’t take it. So what if you live a cursed life? You’re a fucking vampire, a powerful creature that some people can only dream of being.

You can do what you want with little consequence.
And then you get lonely. You get sick, scared, paranoid, and suicidal. No matter how many times you set yourself on fire, stab yourself in the heart, ride an angry horse in the hopes of it throwing you off, throw yourself in front of a train (or those newfangled things called cars), swallow poison, stand on the top of a condemned building as it is crumbling into dust - you can’t die. So you see that what they said when they made you drink their blood was true.

It is not until you start hearing legends about ‘vampires’ and you think, hey, that sounds kind of like what I am. You find him and he shows you what you really are, what you should be doing. When you think about it, it was early days and you are glad that you are this old, not like these new, weak vampires.

Jaejoong decides to be gentle, strokes the neck of the slightly taller vampire and sighs into his chest.

“If there’s heaven you won’t be going. If there’s hell it won’t be that bad, nothing you’re not used to, but you were once human. Maybe you might be stuck in limbo? That would be the same as this eh? But what if there’s nothing Yunho? Nothing? Aren’t you already dead? You missed your chance, and if there’s nothing, wouldn’t you rather be here with me?”

“I know what you’re planning Jaejoong,”

"Under" - Chapter 9

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 06:26:25 GMT

A/N: Re-posted from despair26

Chapter 9

Yunho stepped towards Jaejoong, leaning down to the sitting man and helping him up.

Don’t want to disturb Changmin.

He closed his eyes as their mouths met desperately, Jaejoong sinking to his knees on the floor beside the bed and watching out of the corner of his eye as Yoochun and Junsu did the same.

“Mmm... come here...” he murmured to Junsu, moving back and allowing the other pair to join them on the rug in the centre of the room.

Jaejoong looked at Yoochun hungrily, and moaned slightly as the younger licked his lips, gently lifting his shirt over his head as he watched Yunho gaze at Junsu.

Let’s give hyung a treat...

Jae closed his eyes as Yunho pulled at the drawstring of his Hospital-issued pants, gasping as he felt the cold air meet his lower half, the feeling soon replaced with a slight burning sensation. He opened his eyes to find Yunho’s mouth on his hips, breathing heavily as Yoochun moved their mouths closer. Junsu’s mouth joined Yunho’s on Jaejoong’s body, his tongue playing teasingly with his exposed nipples.

“Ngh... oh...” Jaejoong began to pant, writhing slightly as his body gave in to the three other men. Yunho’s full lips slowly moved down to his arousal, gripping harshly with one hand as his tongue danced out to graze over the head. Jaejoong shuddered, hips bucking.

Don’t tease me!

Yunho’s growl was muffled as Jaejoong clawed his hands into the other’s hair and shoved his head down. He choked slightly, but adjusted, alternating between massaging with his tongue and sucking with his lips.

Jaejoong’s mouth was occupied by Yoochun, the frail vampire attacking harshly as their tongues battled and teeth clashed.

Tastes different... Yoochun pondered as he delved in deeper, tongue re-exploring and re-familiarising itself with the insides of his lover’s mouth.

Human. Jae replied, even his mind too lost to be detailed or coherent.

Yoochun drew back suddenly, glancing at Changmin still asleep on the bed and smirking.

That’ll be fun.

“Su ah...” he breathed, kissing down the delicate vampire’s back. Junsu pulled away from Jaejoong’s body momentarily, kissing Yoochun sloppily and grinning.

Focus on hyung.

Yoochun turned to face his other lovers, watching as Jae practically fucked Yunho’s mouth. Jae groaned loudly, his orgasm almost upon him.

Licking the side of Yunho’s face playfully, Yoochun moved down further and without warning stuck his tongue in Jaejoong’s entrance, licking around the rim before sticking his tongue in as far as it would go, effectively fucking him with his tongue.

Jaejoong bucked wildly, groaning one last time before coming in Yunho’s mouth. Jaejoong lay back momentarily, legs spread and panting from his orgasm. Yunho brought his mouth up to Jae’s, offering him a taste of his own juices.

It would taste better with...

Junsu bit down on Yunho’s shoulder, not as harshly as he normally would, but enough to draw blood. Licking at the puncture holes left by his fangs, he gathered the blood and brought it to Jaejoong’s mouth, almost sucking for want of the combined taste.

...blood?

The three tongues battled, Yoochun watching amused from the side as Yunho straddled Jaejoong’s hips, thrusting into him without warning. Both groaned at the intense feeling, Junsu watching with lust filled eyes as the began to move together, Yunho resting one hand on Jae’s shoulder and the other on the floor as he pounded forward with all his might.

“Oh fuck...” he groaned, eyes silently pleading with Junsu and Yoochun to be part of it.

Smiling, Yoochun moved behind Yunho, gently scraping up and down his back with his fangs and teeth, gently settling down on top of him before entering him slowly, making him feel every throbbing inch.

Junsu continued to watch through lidded eyes, finally settling down beside Jaejoong as Yoochun thrust out and back into Yunho, signalling a chorus of moans as the force of Yoochun inside Yunho made him plunge deeper into Jaejoong.

I missed this...

Junsu watched from the side as the three bodies moved together, the only sounds he could hear was the moaning of his lovers. He could smell the sex and the blood, his two favourite things. He leant over to Jae’s shoulder, biting painfully hard, dizzy as the sensation of arousal and bloodlust took control of his mind. He lapped at the blood, a hand that was not his own lazily finding it’s way to his cock. He thrust into the touch, mouth dripping blood and back arched in pleasure.

Definitely missed this...

~*~

During the night Changmin had woken to the sounds of moans. He wasn’t at home and he wasn’t in his new office either. He sat up abruptly, unable to see through the darkness. Where was he? The smell hit him next, a thick mix of what he instantly recognised as blood, and...

Pain shot up his side as Changmin moved to slide out of the bed. Now he remembered what had happened, where he was. The pain subsided slightly as he lay back on the bed, falling asleep again with a sigh.

The next time Changmin woke up, he could feel a presence in the room. He didn’t open his eyes, but quickly pretended to be asleep as the person lent over him and stroked his hair affectionately. For a moment Changmin thought it could have been his mother. He rolled to his side, turning away from the harsh morning light that was attempting to rouse him from his sleep. It was then he noticed the pain, the slight burn and the drained feeling. He attempted to swallow, mentally groaning as his throat throbbed in pain.

I need to get back to sleep... sleep is good...

“Changmin,” a voice cooed, slicing through his thoughts. “Time to wake up...”

Changmin rolled back to face the window, hoping and praying that he was dreaming, that it was his mother and he was 16 again. That he never became a psychiatrist, never studied for years and never met...that...thing.

“Thing? Well, that’s a bit harsh Minnie,” Jaejoong laughed “I was human once. In fact we tend to refer to each other as people, you know ’Old habits die hard’ or something,”

Changmin slowly opened his eyes, squinting against the light. Jaejoong stood by the curtain, feral grin across his face as he watched Changmin try to sit up.

He’s... talking to me?

“Well, yes Changmin. I thought it would be easier this way since you seemed to react so-” he paused “-Stubbornly to my other methods of communication.” he sighed. “Oh well, you’ll get used to it soon enough.”

He smiled, moving to sit next to Changmin and placing an arm around his back. He simply chuckled when the younger man flinched and tried to move away, looking as if he wasn’t moving a muscle when in fact he was using his in-human strength to keep him at bay.

“Changmin...” Jaejoong cooed again, bringing a cold hand up to the doctor’s forehead. “Don’t be afraid,” he whispered, leaning in so their faces were very close. “I don’t want to hurt you, much. You’re weak now and I’ll help you get better soon...” He smiled wide, revealing his white teeth and gleaming fangs, his breath hot on Changmin’s neck as licked at the inside of his ear.

Soon you will join me, my sweet Minnie...

~*~

Junsu was walking briskly down the dark hall when a shout made him spin around.

“Junsu-yah!”

“Yes, sire?” he asked, arms folded as Eeteuk approached, walking just as briskly as he had been.

“Did you have fun last night?” he smirked, mirroring Junsu and folding his arms.

“Yes I did, thankyou. Jealous?”

Eeteuk chuckled, leaning against the wall and pulling Junsu in next to him, shrouding them both in darkness. “I don’t like what’s happening here.” he said in a hushed whisper, tone changed completely. “I don’t like it when people try to interfere with my plans, Junsu. Jaejoong is interfering with my plans. I do not like it.”

Junsu leaned in closer to Eeteuk, an annoyed look on his face. “You know how much I love Jaejoong. You know how much I want to help him.”

“Ahh, but how much do you love me, Junsu?” Eeteuk asked silkily, taking the younger vampire’s pale chin in his hand. “The one who gave you everlasting life? What are you willing to do for me?”

Junsu sighed, looking up into his hyung’s eyes as he spoke. “I know we worked hard to get where we are. I know you worked hard to get Jaejoong out of the picture. But now he’s back and he has that human. He’s not stupid, Eeteuk, he knows what you did, hell, he’s been around for about as long as you.” He paused, thinking of how to say what he wanted without causing any harm. “I can sense that he’s up to something. You are both smart enough to know that he won’t make what happened to him common knowledge, but he’ll hit you where it hurts.”

Junsu pulled himself out of the ancient vampire’s grip, not saying another word as stalked back down the hall.

“Oh, and Junsu?” Eeteuk called out again, a smirk on his face.

“What?”

“Have you seen Kangin?”

"Under" - Chapter 8

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 06:17:36 GMT

A/N: Re-posted from despair26

Chapter 8

After being buzzed in by a rather shocked looking guard, Yunho speed the car through the grounds of the estate, smoothly parking in the familiar spot.

Funny how it seems familiar even after all this time... He thought, helping Jae Joong out of the car with the sleeping Chang Min.

Large oak doors flew open revealing a large and luscious foyer. Yunho strolled in, ignoring the way the creatures that were lounging around scrambled into the dark corners of the room. Jaejoong set Changmin down on a pitch black leather couch, moving to stand beside Yunho with his arms crossed.

“Ah... finally back with the non-living I see.” A voice from behind them said.

“Junsu...” Yunho said, turning around with a sour look on his face.

“And you brought food... how nice.” Junsu said, smirking as he pulled Yunho into an embrace. “I did miss you...you know,” he said, eyes turning down. “And you too Jae,”

“He’s not food,” was all Jae Joong said, eyes dark as he moved away from Junsu and towards Changmin.

“He? What is he your pet?” Junsu laughed.

“We’ll explain later, Su,” Yunho sighed. “Now where is that son of a bitch Eeteuk...”

“Nice to see you too, Yunho,” a rather regal looking figure said as he descended the large stairs at the side of the foyer. “All of you get out here!”

The creatures that had scattered upon Yunho’s entrance slowly came out of their hiding places, cautiously looking from Junsu, to Eeteuk and then the new arrivals.

“Jae,” one breathed, running forwards and taking him in a tight embrace as the others watched.

Jae accepted him into his arms, squeezing the slender man and holding him tight to his body. “Yoochun ah...”

“I thought I’d never see you again...” Yoochun moved back, a little embarrassed that he had acted so over the top. He moved back to stand next to Junsu, who was now standing with his hand on Yunho’s shoulder, looking expectantly at Eeteuk.

“Welcome home,” the older man said finally stopping at the foot of the stairs. “What is this?” he snarled, referring to the sleeping human on the couch.

“He’s mine,” Jaejoong said, eyes flashing.

“Oh,” Eeteuk’s mouth contorted into something similar to a smile and he continued. “Just keep him out of everyone’s way until he can deal with them,”

“Yes, sire,” Jae said with a sneer, picking Changmin up in his arms and walking up the stairs and out of sight.

Yoochun and Junsu followed, as did everyone else in the room, leaving Yunho and Eeteuk alone.

“What were you thinking bringing that human back here?” he said calmly, unable to hide the disgust on his face.

“I’m sorry, Jae insisted and he was weak and-” Yunho stopped, looking up with hate in his eyes. “You are in no place to speak to me in this way! He was so close this whole time and you kept it from me! Do you have any idea how hard I worked to get him back?”

“Realise whom you are speaking with!” Eeteuk barked, reaching out to slap Yunho. “I have my reasons. He may be royalty but he will be the downfall of us all! Just because you are his lover does not make you any more safe than that filthy human.”

Eeteuk turned to leave, smiling as he watched Yunho rub his stinging face.

“He won’t last long. I will see to that.”

~*~

Junsu and Yoochun followed and Jaejoong took the familiar route to his bedroom, flinging the door open and setting Changmin to rest on his bed.

“Are you...going to turn him?” Junsu asked quietly, taking a seat on the side of the bed and watching as Jae gently stroked the boy’s soft hair, his hand on his chest as it moved in and out with every breath.

“Eventually...” he sighed, looking across the room at Yoochun who was leant against the door frame and smiling. “No more questions for now please.”

I need to feel your scent upon me again...

Jaejoong smiled wider, moving across the room and looking at Yoochun with lidded eyes. He slid his tongue along the younger man’s jaw, up, and flicked teasingly against his mouth. He moaned when he felt Junsu’s tongue on his neck, the other’s body pressing him up against Yoochun who opened his mouth, breathing in deep as he delved his tongue inside.

They kissed passionately, Jaejoong’s moans swallowed by Yoochun as Junsu’s hands moved up and down his body, pushing the two closer together against the wall.

“Wait,” Jaejoong moaned, pulling apart from the two. He smiled cheekily, moving to sit on the bed and crossing his arms. “I think Yunho has first rights.”

As if on cue, Yunho stepped into the room, smiling as widely as Jaejoong.

“That I do.”

"Under" - Chapter 7

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 06:10:28 GMT

A/N: Re-posted from despair26

Chapter 7

I found you Jae Joong.

Jae Joong stumbled backwards into the darkness of the room, cursing as he watched a drained Changmin slide down the wall and fall unconscious against the dirty floor. He edged backwards as the rusty door was flung open and a man stepped inside. This time the words weren’t inside his head.

“I found you Jae Joong.”

He knew that his eyes and ears wouldn’t deceive him... but this could not be true. He almost choked on the blood still in his mouth, his body breaking down on the inside as his emotions got the better of him. Was it really him or had he finally gone crazy? Maybe the sweet taste of another’s blood on his tongue was bringing back those memories of his lover to torture him.

He swallowed quickly, feeling some remaining blood trickle down the side of his mouth, soon mixing with tears. He didn’t know whether he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs or break down and die silently. He didn’t want to look. Wouldn’t look. He almost fell over, gasping as he felt his knees hit the ground.

“Jae Joong... are you... are you crying?” came a choked voice. He backed against the wall, closing his eyes and wishing for it to all go away, to stop torturing him. He could feel the person move closer, feel him trying to get into his mind but he wouldn’t let him; no one was going to mess with him, not now.

“Yunho...” he whispered lightly, looking up into light brown orbs and smiling weakly.

Before he could make sense of anything, before he could think anything through, he burst into tears, his dead heart twanging in a mix of pain and joy.

“Oh Jae Joong I’ve missed you so much!” Yunho sobbed, taking Jae in his arms and holding him tight. Startled, Jae Joong put his arms around Yunho’s neck, looking over his shoulder at the unconscious doctor and feeling a pang of guilt. He hardly listened when Yunho startled to talk rapidly, breath shaky, placing kisses around his face and up and down his neck.

“I...I missed you so much... and I’ve been looking for you... and it was hard to get here...and why did you ever leave me?” Yunho closed his eyes, inhaling sharply and pausing to look at Jae Joong, who still had his eyes on the young boy on the floor.

“D...did you kill him?” Yunho asked tentatively, eyes sliding from the dried blood on Jae’s face to his black eyes, finding no answer there.

“I...think he might live...” Jae Joong gasped, releasing himself from Yunho’s grasp and moving over to where Changmin lay, crouching down next to the boy and inspecting his neck. He dragged him and propped him up against the wall, sitting beside him and gently stroking his hair.

“Thankyou...” Jae murmured to Yunho who had now joined him on the floor. “I quite like him...” he said, moving his gaze from Yunho to Changmin’s body, his beautiful face and soft skin. He smiled widely, almost evilly as he bored into Yunho’s eyes. “I think I might keep him.”

He gently moved away from the almost dead boy and into Yunho’s embrace, desperately kissing him and breathing in his scent. He wanted to stay like that forever, tasting his lover like he hadn’t done in so many years. It felt good and strange at the same time how he remembered the taste, the feelings and connection he shared with the other man. It was all he had to hold onto in the past.

“We need to talk.” Yunho said as he detached himself from Jae Joong and stood up. “And we need to get you out of here.”

~*~

“I was so devastated when you left...” Yunho began, deciding that now was the right time to explain why he was here, how he had finally come to be here with Jae Joong now. He kept his eyes on the road as he drove, occasionally looking in the rear-view mirror at the pair in the backseat, Jae Joong looking down lovingly as he held Changmin in his arms, sound asleep.

“I didn’t know where you went and I... just wanted to die.” he sighed, almost smirking at the thought of death. He would never die.

“I let it go for a while, thinking that you would just come back, like that other time... but...it had been ten years and you hadn’t.” Yunho looked back again in the rear-view mirror to see if Jae Joong was listening, smiling as their eyes met with a look of understanding.

“They told me to let it go, to keep working hard or do whatever it takes to take my mind off of you...you know how it is with us... Junsu didn’t even notice you were gone for a few months.” he said darkly, grip tightening on the steering wheel.

“I... I don’t know how but someone must have told Eeteuk...maybe they had been looking... I don’t know...no one ever tells me anything... but they found you, but he wouldn’t let me go to you, he wouldn’t Jae...” Yunho sobbed, quickly taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, needing to continue with his story.

“He wouldn’t just let me go in, guns blazing and get you, didn’t want to risk our discovery, would rather have his own safety than yours.” he spat bitterly, again meeting Jae’s eyes with his own.

“Yunho... I understand.” Jae Joong said plainly, putting on a smile. “Let’s just get home.”

"Under" - Chapter 6

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 03:29:28 GMT

A/N: Re-posted from despair26

It was him that had made him like this. Turned him into some blood thirsty monster that took pleasure in killing. He had turned him because he was beautiful. So he could have a play thing...

Over the years he learnt to deal, learnt to accept that this was the way it was going to be... “forever and that he better make the most of it!” He grew accustomed to the warm metallic tang of blood on his tongue and the feel of Jae Joong’s arms around him. He took him under his wings, protected him from the world. He always whispered in his ear that they were not like the others.

~*~

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jae Joong asked, sitting up in his bed and stretching as he noticed Changmin hurriedly putting on his clothes.

Eyes wide, Changmin snapped his head toward Jae Joong, heart beating in fright.

“Thought I was asleep or something?” Jae Joong chuckled, rising from the bed and pacing towards Changmin. He could hear the pace of his heart beat quicken, see the sweat trickling down his pale neck... He looked so tasty...

No. He needed to keep him for later... to play with him some more.

An evil grin spread between Jae Joong’s supple lips. He licked them, eyes looking up and down the frightened creature as he pinned him against the wall, inhaling his overwhelming scent of fear and anger.

Why is he doing this to me? Why why why why why?
What is he?

“You should have been able to guess that by now,” Jae Joong whispered into Changmin’s ear, gently moving down and scraping his sharp fangs along the young doctor’s neck. “Or don’t you believe in Vampires?”

He felt Changmin shudder under his touch, felt his mind flood with thoughts. He picked out the coherent ones, smiling as he took the beautiful face in his hand, staring intently through the brown orbs, drowning in his inner mind.

No. He is not a Vampire. They don’t exist. He’s just a very sick man...

Jae Joong chuckled. “You have a stubborn mind, Changmin,” He said, licking from where he had bitten the boy up to his mouth.

Free it to me.

Were his unspoken words, that he used to catch the younger off guard, forcing himself in, tongue fighting through teeth and resting to savour Changmin’s sweet flavour.

He felt the younger man loosen the tensity in his arms, falling backwards into the wall and encouraging Jae Joong to have his way.

I will. I can’t stand anymore pain. Changmin cried out inside his head, shaking as Jae Joong ripped off his thin shirt.

“You don’t know pain,” he growled, sinking his fangs deep into Changmin’s neck, sucking hungrily at the blood as he cried out in pain.

“Jae Joong, I... ah...” Changmin gasped, the mix of pain from his neck and the hot feeling of Jae Joong’s body against his causing him to moan uncontrollably.

Jae Joong.

Jae Joong.

He didn’t hinder the words spoken inside his head, continuing to suck the life out of Changmin as he ground his hips into the boy, flying on a pleasure high he hadn’t experienced in too long a time.

The words inside his head spoke again, and this time Jae Joong knew it wasn’t uncontrolled yells from the depths of Changmin’s mind.

I found you Jae Joong.

~*~

He could sense him all the time and it was pure hell. He could almost hear his breathing, hear his thoughts. If that’s what you could call thoughts. Incoherent ravings and reminiscing. He could sometimes feel him delve into the minds of the others around him, coming out disturbed and changed for the worse. He wanted to shout at him to stop, wanted to say he was here and it would be only a matter of time before he would get to him. He cried the times when he felt Jae Joong reach out for that familiar scent, that familiar sense of being and then suddenly withdraw into himself, cursing and hating himself for even thinking that he was somewhere near.

He knew he had to ease his way in, find a way to relax Jae Joong and gain his trust. He did what he always had... and this time Jae Joong willingly accepted his offer, thoughts fleetingly skimming across the long lost memory as he pushed himself inside the young doctor. He knew. He knew he knew and it pained him to feel him push away the thoughts and feelings as he had his way with Changmin, the man who had seemed so willing up until that point. He could sense that he took an instant liking to him, could feel him drinking in the prettiness, and wondered if that was what it was like when he first laid eyes on him.

He had stayed up all night, watching with eyes closed and falling asleep to the steady rhythm of Changmin’s heart beat. When he woke up the morning, he could sense them again, and knew he had to move in now or never.

He took a deep breath, stepping out of his office where he had spent the night and calling out like he had never before, relishing in the feeling of the connection he was making.

Jae Joong.

He could feel him acknowledge the words, almost see him smirk as he drank Changmin’s blood, body pulsing with pleasure.

Jae Joong, he shouted without opening his mouth, eyes squeezed shut tightly as he felt the pleasure he was feeling, using a hand to steady himself out in the dim Hospital hallway.

I found you Jae Joong.

"Under" - Chapter 5

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 03:21:40 GMT

A/N: Re-posted from despair26

Chapter 5

I remember everything. I remember growing up, remember playing and running and laughing with my sisters. I remember running through the open fields, remember my mother’s cooking and my father’s stern yet loving nature. I remember the cold winters cuddled up next to my mother by the open fire and father telling us stories of the war and his adventures.

I remember finding her one summer, so beautiful, down by the river and I remember out first kiss. I remember our marriage, remember the feast, remember the glowing faces of our relatives. I remember our children, I remember when we lost our son. I remember it was so cold that winter...

I remember the notices in the town, I remember the worried faces. Something was killing the livestock. I remember when they moved onto the villagers. I remember protecting my family. I remember her telling me she loved me no matter what.

I remember the feeling, the piercing pain and then the metallic taste...the taste I can’t live without now. I remember hiding in the dark, attacking like an animal, living like an animal.

I remember when they came for me, taught me their ways. Told me I didn’t have to be an animal. Told me I should embrace the gift of eternal life I was given. I remember the long nights, the guns, the blood, the fighting, the sex. I remember the constant cycle of destruction that was my life - it was all I could do to feel fulfilled.

And then I remember him. His frightened brown orbs as I stepped forward, eyes blazing red and mouth dripping blood. I remember smiling and telling him I wouldn’t hurt him. I couldn’t hurt something as beautiful as Yunho.

~ * ~

Jae Joong slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room, adjusting himself to the usual darkness and filth. He had dreamt again, dreamt about Yunho. He didn’t think about him often, but lately it had been happening more frequently. His heart ached when he hoped that he would rescue him. Hoped he would take him out of this hell.

Jae Joong sat up, noticing the naked body on the bed next to him, beautiful chest heaving in and out with steady breaths. He smiled evilly, knowing that he could have plenty of fun with Changmin. He would eventually give in and enjoy what Jae Joong had to offer... everything he had to offer.

~ * ~

Yunho awoke with a start, the knocking at his office door rousing him from his restless sleep. “Damn it!” he cursed, getting up and moving across the room to open the door. He had fallen asleep at work again!

Rubbing his eyes he opened the door. “What?” he spat at his secretary.

“Morning sir,” she laughed lightly pushing past Yunho and into the office. “I see you spent the night here again,” she chuckled, placing files on the desk and turning around to face her boss. Noticing the tired and annoyed look on his face she decided it was best to leave him be, and with a smile walked out of the office.

Yunho went back to his position in the large black office chair, leaning back slowly and closing his eyes. He had dreamt about him again. Jae Joong, his love... his beautiful body... his laugh, his piercing eyes...his everything.

He had known where he was for almost two years now, but getting to him had been harder than he imagined. Becoming Chief of Staff at this hospital hadn’t been easy. Finding Jae Joong’s case and hiring that young Changmin as bait had not been easy on him either.

The hardest thing of all though, would be to face Jae Joong after all these years.

"Under" - Chapter 4

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 03:11:40 GMT

A/N: Re-posted from despair26

Jae Joong lightly licked up and down Changmin’s neck, teasing the younger man. He wasn’t going to kill him - yet.

His sharp fangs sunk in ever so slightly as Changmin tried to shift underneath his weight. He had hoped this was going to be easy.

“Changmin... do you want to die?” he asked, pulling away and leaning back to take in the frightened look on the doctor’s face. He smirked, seeing him shake his head slightly, able to move it now that the threat of fangs had been removed.

“I didn’t think so...” Jae Joong picked Changmin up, to him he was as light as a feather, and laid him down on the dirty bed. “It’s not that bad you know... dying,” he continued as he removed Changmin’s jacket and shirt, pressing his hand to the other man’s chest and feeling a strong heart beat through the soft yet toned skin. He stared into Changmin’s frightened eyes for what seemed liked forever, revelling in the rhythm of his life. He wished his heart would beat like that again.

He let his fangs retract, leaving only his human teeth as he licked his way down Changmin’s chest. He could feel the younger man squirm underneath his touch, trying to get away. There was no use with someone as strong as Jae Joong.

“Please...” he heard Changmin mutter, throwing his head to the side and gasping as Jae Joong went to slide off his pants. His body moved up slightly at the surprise of such a cold touch on his limp member.

Smiling lightly, Jae Joong took a moment to be thankful. Thankful that someone had sent him such a beautiful play thing. He didn’t stop however, to think that it could mean something else.

He took a tight grip on Changmin’s surprisingly large manhood and began pumping it up and down, his own cock throbbing at the sight of the younger man squirming beneath him, trying not to give in.

“Come on Changmin, I know you like it...” Jae Joong cooed. Changmin looked straight up into his eyes, frightened even more by what he saw there. Jae Joong smiled widely, revealing his fangs a little, his eyes flashing from black to red and back again.

“Jae Joong...” Changmin gasped, body bucking into the older man’s touch. He let his head fall to the side, too frightened to look up again, ashamed that he was feeling this way.

“Please... call me Jae,” the vampire said, lowering his head to Changmin’s stomach, where he circled his bellybutton slowly with his tongue, hand slipping down to his own pants, which he removed.

“No...please...I....” Changmin gasped, trying again to get out from under the strong man, but his attempts were futile.

Jae Joong spit on his hand, rubbing it up and down his now free, throbbing erection and spreading Changmin’s legs without warning. It had been so long since he had felt any kind of pleasure...

He rested the tip of his cock at Changmin’s entrance, quivering in anticipation as he felt the man underneath him shudder. Without a word, he plunged in, ramming himself as far in as he could go, not caring if he broke the boy or not. Changmin’s strangled cries of pain egged him on as he thrust in and out, indulging in the tight warmth.

This was too much for Changmin, and before Jae came he fainted, his body limp and lifeless. Soon after, panting heavily, Jae Joong came, his body collapsing on top of the shy doctor. He fell straight asleep, his brain not allowing for thoughts of what would happen next.

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 9/?

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:52:38 GMT

A/N: We're about half way through!

Chapter 9

I sped through the city streets, knuckles white on the steering wheel of Yun Ho’s car. Fuck him. He could walk home for all I cared.

How could he do that to me? How could he...?

Would he fuck them? Continue that little public display somewhere more private, up in the depths of Yoo Chun’s house...?

I felt a tear slide down my cheek, and I furiously wiped it away as I felt my stomach boil in anger.

Why did I always fuck things up? Was I not good enough for him? He had to go to someone else? Two other people?

I pulled out my phone, knowing there was only one person I could call. I just needed to fall into his arms and forget about all my problems and pain.

I dialled his number, still speeding towards my apartment as I listened to the dial tone.

“This is Chang Min, sorry I can‘t get to the phone right now. Just leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you.”

“Chang Min, it’s Jae Joong. Please...” I struggled, holding down a sob. “Please call me... why weren’t you at the party? Where are you?”

Before I could say anymore I was cut off, and I flipped the phone shut in frustration.

I felt my tears coming on more steadily now, rolling down over my cheeks and falling down the sides of my face.

He didn’t love me. He said he did! How could I be so foolish and believe him? He loved me once but now all I had to show for my time with him were the scars on my wrist and the bruises every now and then.

The scar...I remember that...

It had been after the first time he ever hit me, when I made the first scar...

We sometimes fought, but nothing serious.

Why don’t you ever listen to me?

Why didn’t you stick up for me?

Why didn’t you answer my call?

Then he got jealous. So jealous he would question my love for him. One night I had had enough. And he hit me. Punched me. Threw me to the ground, told me he loved me and then shook me. Hurt me, crushed me, broke me.

When I woke up I didn’t know what to do. Pretend like it didn’t happen? Get help? Get away? How could I hide this? From all our friends, our parents? What would they think of us? What would they think of him? My beautiful Yun Ho...?

And so I came home early one day. Took the largest knife from the block in the kitchen and sat down in the middle of the floor.

If he felt he had the right to hurt me then I could hurt myself just as bad...

***

I stepped into the apartment, the empty, cold, dark apartment. I placed my things away neatly, stepping out of my shoes and grabbing a glass of water. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Every time you hurt me, Yun Ho, I want nothing more than to show you I can hurt myself too. You do not have complete control over me.

I walked into the kitchen, walking up to the bench where the large wooden block sat, set of four knives slid into place.

I love you so much, can’t you see that? You make me do these things... I’m such a failure but I blame it on you...

I unsheathed the knife, trembling slightly as it made that eerie swish sound that I had become accustomed to, the blade coming in contact with the wood.

I was no pussy. I didn’t use razor blades. I didn’t play around. I wanted pain, and I wanted him tortured, knowing that every time he stepped into the kitchen he would have to see the thing that could potentially take my life. And the bastard still kept the knives, even when we moved. Maybe they cost him a lot. Maybe they were a present.

I looked around the kitchen, almost amused as I realised this was something new. This was the first time I would be doing this in this apartment. Two weeks. Congratulations.

I decided on an obscure place, somewhere that would keep me practically hidden in this uselessly small apartment. Maybe he would take a while to find me.

Maybe he wouldn’t come home in time and I would die.

***

“You have ... one ... new message. Message received today at ... 12:34 am...

Chang Min, it’s Jae Joong. Please... please call me... why weren’t you at the party? Where are you?

To save this message, press one. To delete, press two. To listen to the message again, press three.”

“SHIT.” I practically threw my phone at the apartment wall, cursing some more as I noticed it was now 9:46 am. Why hadn’t I been at the party? Where was I? Hmph.

He sounded distressed, and it also sounded as if he was driving, probably home in fear or something worse. Not a good combination.

I sighed, pulling on the nearest clothes I could find and rushing out of the apartment. What had that bastard done this time?

***

“This is Chang Min, sorry I can‘t get to the phone right now. Just leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you.”

“Goddamn it Min why don’t you ever answer your FUCKING PHONE or reply to our messages? This is urgent Min, it’s about Jae so fucking call me back.”

***

“This is Chang Min, sorry I can‘t get to the phone right now. Just leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you.”

“Yah, Chang Min, I had a good time last night so uh... same time next week? Just call me back, my number is...”

***

I woke up feeling drained, lethargic. I sat up quickly, head dizzy with pain as I noticed I was in the bedroom.

Oh.

So I had made it again. Good. This was fun.

I lay back down, squinting through the dark at the alarm clock. Its glowing red numbers showed 10:03 am.

I held my arms above my face, smiling at the bandage on my left wrist.

Did he get the message? I was his, and he was mine. If he wanted to hurt me I could torture him.

“Jae Joong... why did you do this?”

I almost snorted with laughter, sitting up in the bed and turning to see Yun Ho standing in the doorway with a hurt look on his face.

“Because I’m not good enough for you,” I said quietly, sliding back down into the bed, closing my eyes and rolling over to face the wall.

“What do you mean? I love you Jae. No matter what I do, I will always love you.”

“So were you thinking of me when you were making out with Jun Su last night?”

I didn’t need to turn around to know what Yun Ho’s face would look like. That deathly glare, almost angry but not quite there. The anger was always in his eyes when he felt like this.

“Don’t talk to me like that-”

DING DONG.

“Going to get that?”

***

I walked down the hall of the apartment building, hoping that I had remembered exactly where Jae lived. I didn’t want to show up at some stranger’s apartment and then go around asking if anyone knew where Jae lived, like a fool.

I stopped nervously outside the door to apartment 54 C. Was I ready for this? What was going to be behind that door? Was I even going to be able to get in?

I took one last breath to calm my nerves before lightly pressing the door bell.

DING-DONG I heard reverberated throughout the apartment within.

I stood for a few moments before I heard footsteps from inside, and a tired looking Yun Ho opened the door, an almost surprised look on his face.

“Ch-Chang Min?”

“Hi,” I said awkwardly with a half smile.

“W-what are you doing here?” Yun Ho replied, cocking his head to the side.

I took a deep breath, not wanting to cause tension between us. I didn’t want to fight Yun Ho again. I needed to feign innocence. Something I tended to be good at. Something people wanted...

I just wanted to get Jae out of this place. Away from Yun Ho and the hurt and the abuse.

“I...uh...Jae Joong tried to call me but uh... uhm... he sounded upset or something. Is he okay?”

I hadn’t planned on Yun Ho being there and now things were just awkward.

“He’s fine,” Yun Ho said coldly.

That was what set off the alarm bells in my head. No. He must not be. I kissed my teeth, trying to hide my alarm and anger.

“Oh, well, can I see him?”

I went to step into the apartment, but Yun Ho stepped forward and blocked the doorway with his body.

“He doesn’t want to see anyone. Sorry, Chang Min.”

This really pissed me off. My Jae had sounded so distressed on the phone. I know something happened. I know it. I needed to get in, see him, comfort him, save him...

Did Yun Ho know what we did? That I had finally made him realise that things would never change? I love Jae and he loves me. I would get him by any means necessary.

“Let me in,” I said loudly, quickly pushing past Yun Ho and taking him by surprise.

“Chang Min, why are you acting like this?” he shouted behind me, pulling at my shirt as I walked briskly across the apartment.

I spun around, yanking his hand from my shirt and breathing heavily as I glared at him angrily.

“What did you do to Jae?”

***

“This is Junsu, please leave a message!”

“J-Junsu, I don’t know what to do! Please, just get here as quick as you can. Fuck. NO!”

***

I placed a comforting hand on Yoo Chun’s leg as he sped across the city. Sitting next to him in the passenger’s seat I felt the guilty tears slowly roll down my face.

“I fucked everything up, Chun,”

“No, Su, everything’s fine, we don’t know that anything bad has happened yet, just calm down,” Yoo Chun said soothingly.

How could I be so stupid? I really needed to stay out of people’s lives. I just wanted to help, that was all. Why couldn’t people be more like Yoo Chun and I? So loving and sharing with everyone? Care-free and fun loving? Some people in this world sure were fucked up.

I had warned him, warned him to be careful. Why didn’t anyone ever listen? Chang Min never listened to me. Never listened when I said he could stay with me and Yoo Chun. Never listened when I told him he didn’t need to do those things anymore, that Yoo Chun and I could take care of him...

Yoo Chun was right. We didn’t know what was going on yet. I just needed to stay calm until we got to Jae and Yun Ho’s apartment.

***

“Please, don’t do this again!” I shouted, standing between the two very angry men in my apartment’s living room.

“Chang Min, I don’t get you!” I said, putting on an act as I rounded on the youngest in the room.

“If something was wrong I would tell you, and then, you disrespect both me and my boyfriend by barging into the apartment! I know you think you need to protect me, but really, I’m fine. What happened has nothing to do with you.”

I looked into his eyes, pleading for him to calm down and take my hint that now might not be the best time for him to act rashly and reveal anything that had happened between us.

“As for you, Yun Ho, you know what I think of you right at this moment.” I shot him a deathly glare before pulling Chang Min by the arm and towards the front door.

Before I reached it, there was a loud knock and the door bell was rung. I glared at Yun Ho, and he moved to open the door. I shot Chang Min another desperate look behind Yun Ho’s turned back, my hand still firmly gripping his arm.

I heard Yun Ho gasp slightly, his voice taking on that nervous tone that I seldom heard.

“Uh... now’s not a good time, guys,” he said, and my head snapped towards the front door to find Yoo Chun and Jun Su standing there, looks of concern on their faces.

I frowned. They were the last people I wanted to see at this moment. Damn right it wasn’t a good time. There hadn’t even been time for Yun Ho and I to fight. I hadn’t allowed for that.

We all stood there, me focusing a particularly disgusted look on my two friends as they silently shuffled into the apartment, Yun Ho stepping to the side and turning around with crossed arms.

I lowered my head, all of a sudden noticing my half-naked state and how weird things must look. I looked once more to Chang Min and noticed his look of utter confusion. He cocked his head to the side as if to say What the fuck is going on?

“I... uh...” Yun Ho paused, motioning for everyone to sit down.

Things were going to be awkward. Chang Min would find out why I had called him, why I had run away from the party, and why things had turned so drastic all of a sudden.

“No, Yun Ho,” I said, stopping in my tracks and looking from him to Yoo Chun and Jun Su. “I want to know exactly what was going on, and why,”

“Jae... we’re sorry man, we were just... drunk...” Yoo Chun said, his usual jovial tone lost.

I slowly let go of Chang Min’s arm, placing my hands on my hips and giving Yoo Chun and his boyfriend the deadliest look I could muster.

“I would like it if you would leave.” I said pointing to the door. With a hint of a bitter laugh I turned to Chang Min. “In case you’re wondering, these two had some fun with my boyfriend last night. That’s why I was so upset.”

I could see Chang Min and Yun Ho’s eyes meet across the room, and I needed to get them separated before anything else happened.

“I think it would be best,” I said after a deep breath, “If we all just left each other alone for a little while,”

No more words were exchanged, everyone’s emotions being kept on the inside which was definitely for the better. I walked slowly behind the three boys as they left the apartment, glad that I would be having some peace once they were gone.

Or would I?

I never knew in this stupid fucked up life of mine.

Yun Ho closed the apartment door and sighed. I saw the coldness in his eyes as I looked up at him, the look that he had when he was thinking about something that caused him great pain. The look he usually had after he hurt me. He would come toward me with cold eyes, and warm lips, warm hands, warm breath...

But not tonight.

He walked towards me, and we met in the middle of the apartment, me in only pyjama bottoms and bare foot, him fully clothed and reading glasses on.

He gently traced over the fading bruises on my chest, pulling me slowly into his embrace as he rested his head on my shoulder, murmuring unexpected words.

“We will get help,”