wordsofdespair (wordsofdespair) wrote,
wordsofdespair
wordsofdespair

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 5/?

A/N: Ok so I said I would never update daily but recently I've been having trouble with school and I need to focus on it for once, if I want my life to go anywhere, therefore you get and early update. Huh? Doesn't make sense you say? Tomorrow I have Concert Band and then I am going to force myself to go home and do homework instead of going on the internet... ooo... and then I am working Friday night so I am going to force myself to go straight home from school and do homework... ooo... so you might get another update after this one on saturday ^^
The first part of the Chapter is from Yunnie's POV. <3

Chapter 5


I came home from work that night at about 6:30. It had been a long day. I just wanted to get home and have some of Joongie’s delicious home made dinner. Something flashed across my mind at the thought of my boyfriend. It always happened, but I always pushed it aside.

He seemed to instil this rage in me whenever he was not by my side. He was always sorry... always so sorry... but he needed something to remind him of just how sorry he should be.

I was his protector. Only I could protect him, and only I could hurt him.

I was there for him to protect as well; we would look after each other. That was one of the promises he had seemed to forget.

I put my keys in the apartment door, turning the handle and sighing as I walked into the brightly lit living area, seeing Jae Joong bundled up on the couch in front of the TV.

“Oh Yunnie! You’re home. I’ll just go get our dinner,” he said, leaping up.

I placed my bag down next to the door and smiled happily as I went to sit at the couch, pressing play on the VCR. I was greeted with an old video of us, one we had made right after we left high school. I watched a younger me and a younger Jae Joong laugh and play, rolling around on the grass and almost hitting the camera that we had set up on a tripod so it would capture us as we frolicked.

The younger me got up from my place beside the younger Jae Joong on the grass, grabbing the camera and zooming in on his face.

“Will my beautiful Joongie Bear sing me a song?”

“Yunnie~” the on-screen Jae whined. “You know I can’t sing,”

I could be heard chuckling from behind the camera, the beautiful picture of Jae Joong changing as I turned the camera onto myself. “We have it on camera ladies and gentlemen!” I laughed heartily, screen shaking as I tried to avoid Jae’s playful blows.

The sounds of us running and laughing slowly faded away as I stepped into the kitchen, watching silently as Jae dished out the spaghetti, face emotionless.

He turned around, not noticing and almost bumping into me, hands struggling with two full plates of dinner.

“Here,” I smiled warmly, taking the plates and walking to set them on the table as he followed.

“Thanks,” he smiled, sitting down and picking up a fork, not really paying attention to his dinner. I moved my hand across the table, slipping it into the familiar warmth that was Jae Joong’s hand.

He played with his dinner for a moment, before sighing and squeezing my hand.

“We need to talk,” he whispered, giving up on his dinner and watching as I put down my fork and finished chewing my mouthful.

I could feel my heart strain, that weird feeling I always got when Jae wanted to talk about something serious, when he wasn’t smiling or happy, or when I saw him with someone else.

“Yes?” was all I could manage, throat drying out and nervousness setting in. I reached for my drink, taking a sip as Jae Joong removed his hand from mine.

“I...” Jae looked away, body shifting uncomfortably. “I-I think you need help,” he gulped, doing everything to avoid eye contact with me.

I tried to hide the shock on my face. Help? What kind of help? We didn’t need help... I don’t need-

“I love you,” he murmured, finally meeting my eyes with his sad ones. “But I don’t know how much longer I can keep it up...”

I could see the fear in his eyes, the shuddering breaths he took as he leant over and took my hand in his again. His thumb gently caressed the palm of my hand and I took a breath just as deep and shuddering as his.

I stared plainly at my love, not angry, not sad, just...

Shocked.

I didn’t know what to say. If he thought I needed help, then...

I opened my mouth and closed it again, not really knowing what to say. I was fairly calm, unusual for me nowadays. I had to admit that I was getting out of hand... I was letting him down.

I looked down, a small sob escaping my mouth. With my free hand I wiped away the tear that was making its way down the side of my face. What was I doing? Why did I hurt him so much... oh god... it hurts...

I felt the hot tears roll down my face, not daring to look up at him. The pain was so unbearable...now I knew how he felt.

“I’m so sorry Jae Joong...” I snivelled through the tears. I met his eyes, saw his shocked face.

“I’m sorry for... hurting you...” I stood up and stepped backwards from the kitchen table, past the living room where our home video still played, and into our bedroom, crying silently as I slammed the bedroom door shut.

What was I going to do?

***

I sat choking on my tears as I heard the bedroom door slam. I didn’t care if he hurt me anymore, just as long as he knew how I felt. Just as long as he knew I wasn’t going to be so passive towards his actions anymore. He needed help. No matter how many times he told me he was sorry it never changed a thing. No matter how many times I said I was sorry and that I loved him it still didn’t change a thing. I was afraid he would never change.

I stood up slowly, leaving our dinner abandoned on the table and slowly shuffling towards the bedroom door, tiles cold on my feet.

I opened it and peered inside, finding Yun Ho on the edge of the bed with his head in between his hands. I climbed onto the bed, crawling over to him and wrapping myself around him from behind, placing a kiss on his ear and gently stroking his hair.

I felt him ease into my touch, sighing contentedly and closing his eyes. His hands moved backwards, gently stroking up and down my side as I continued to place light kisses on the side of his face.

I slowly moved to his front, straddling his hips and resting my arms over his shoulders. We didn’t say anything, just breathed heavily as I paused to look into his bloodshot eyes. I leant forward, pressing my lips against his forcefully, my tongue diving straight in as soon as his mouth allowed.

We kissed sensually, tongues exploring each other’s mouth as if it were the first time. I moaned and he moaned back; it had been a while since we had been connected so passionately.

My lips never left his as he leant back and I lay on top of him, hastily unbuttoning his dress shirt and running my hands from his collar bone to below his belly button, smiling at the feeling of his smooth skin.

I finally detached myself from his mouth, moving so that I was straddling him again, unzipping his pants as he sat up and attacked my shirt. I moved off of him, allowing him to take off his pants and hurl them towards the door, I doing the same with my shirt and then hastily discarding my pants.

I lay back down on top of him, groaning loudly as I felt my skin against his, the colours blending smoothly as I slid up his body slightly, allowing for our erections to brush against each other’s.

He ground his hips upward, panting and creating beautiful friction that masked the pain I was feeling along my face and down to my abdomen. His breath caught when he saw my bruises and scratches, reaching out to touch them with shaking hands.

I shuddered lightly as I looked straight into his eyes, so many words rushing through my mind but none of them leaving my mouth.

This is what you do to me...

I ground downwards with my hips, distracting him from my bruises and instead focusing his attention on his throbbing arousal, already dripping pre-cum I noticed as I took it in my hand. He bucked involuntarily into my touch, eyes glazed over.

He calmed himself however, and I gasped slightly as he spoke the first words since I had entered the room.

“Make love to me, Jae Joong.”
Tags: pairing: jaemin, pairing: yoosu, pairing: yunjae, title: lovin' you, type: chaptered fic
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