wordsofdespair (wordsofdespair) wrote,

"Lovin' You" - Chapter 8/?

A/N: Sorry it's been a while and sorry if this seems a bit rushed... *shakes head at self* Enjoy~

Chapter 8

The next morning at school I acted as if nothing had happened. Well, I tried. I didn’t want to shun Chang Min completely and make him feel as if what we had shared had meant nothing.

Yesterday I had returned home with such and intense feeling of guilt that I threw up. I just thought of Chang Min fucking me and at first begging him to stop, but then... begging for more.

The emotions inside of me were warring with each other and I felt so weak. I didn’t want to talk to Chang Min because I felt that I wouldn’t be able to. I definitely couldn’t talk to Yun Ho about that...

Chang Min just brought out something... different in me. I knew after last night that he loved me. But did I love him? I barely knew him, and was I just going to throw my entire past with Yun Ho away? Just like that?

But Chang Min was right. Yun Ho would never change... I needed to get out of the relationship. I needed to be strong... I needed someone who would love me and stand up for me and never hurt me. Someone like Chang Min...

I smiled widely as he strolled across the library, heading directly for me as I sat at one of the study tables.

“Hey Joongie!” he exclaimed joyfully. “I knew I’d find you here.”

He sat down across the table from me, grin still plastered on his face as he pulled out some random books from his backpack.

“Hey Minnie,” I purred, a little more seductive than I intended. His face suddenly turned serious, before a slight tinge of red graced his cheeks.

“About last night Jae I...”

“I enjoyed it, Min,” I smirked, almost laughing, staring him straight in the eyes. He looked straight back, expression darkening.

“But do you-” he stopped short as he noticed Yun Ho, Yoo Chun and Jun Su approaching, chatting and talking happily.

I moved over a seat, allowing Yun Ho to slide into where I had previously been sitting. He gave me a smile and quick peck on the cheek as greeting and waved cutely at Chang Min. I hooked my arm in his and rested my head on his shoulder.

Yoo Chun and Jun Su squished in next to Chang Min, and we all silently continued with our study.

I shifted in my seat restlessly, trying not to look at Chang Min. What was he going to say? But do you want to be with me and not Yun Ho? But do you love me?

That is not something I’m sure of yet Chang Min. I know I feel something for you. I need to get to know you better, I need to know if it’s not just lust...

I leant further into Yun Ho, smiling happily as he hooked his arm around my waist and absent-mindedly stroked my side as he read his book. I looked over at Chang Min and noticed him look away quickly. He had been looking at me.

I knew Chang Min wouldn’t be able to keep his feelings between just us. I think that would be the biggest test for Yun Ho. Had he changed? Would he ever let me go?

I sighed casually, standing up and stretching my arms. I needed to get Chang Min and I alone again, now, so we could talk. I smiled stupidly, reaching over the table and grabbing his hand.

“Chang Minnie!” I cooed, waking him out of his daze. “Let’s go!” I said cutely, giggling like a five year old. Yoo Chun laughed, giving me a weird looking before slapping Chang Min’s retreating ass playfully.

“We’ll be back~!” I sung out playfully, intentionally looking at Yun Ho who pouted like a little boy being denied his favourite flavour of ice cream.

Chang Min laughed as I took his hand and swung it through the air in time with our steps. We walked out of the back entrance to the library and into the cool air, my childish mood disappearing as I let go of his hand and turned to face him.

“Chang Min.”

“Jae?” he said, listening fully.

“I don’t consider what we did a mistake, but I do think we took things a little... fast.”

He nodded.

“I feel something for you but I’m not so sure about my emotions these days. I...I need time to know you more, to let my feelings grow.”

I smiled, and he smiled back, nodding in understanding.

“Will this help?” he whispered, backing me into the dark brick wall of the library and kissing me smoothly, running his tongue along my lips, begging to be let in.


I smiled nervously as Yoo Chun slapped Chang Min’s ass, not knowing if that type of thing would make Yun Ho nervous. I threw him a glance from across the table and noticed his uncomprehending look.

What was Jae playing at?

“We’ll be back~!” he squealed, taking Chang Min’s hand and practically skipping out the door with him. I giggled lightly before turning back to the text I had been high-lighting.

I cleared my throat, un able to help a slight feeling of nervousness settle in my mind. I didn’t much like being alone with Yun Ho, he still made me feel uneasy. I just didn’t trust him, because I knew people could not change that easily. Even with my boyfriend by my side I felt uneasy.

I decided to focus on my study instead, when Yoo Chun whispered something in my ear.

“Do you think Chang Min...” he didn’t finish the sentence, knowing I would understand him. We had already talked about this, it was quite painfully obvious to us that Chang Min had a thing for Jae. We had even predicted true love and smooth sailings until we found out Jae Joong had a boyfriend. A crazy, dangerous but very very hot boyfriend at that.

From what we had weaselled out of Chang Min, Jae Joong had received a beating for simply talking to Chang Min and appearing too close to him, and worse had happened in the past.

I shuddered just thinking about it, glad that I was with a person like Yoo Chun.

“You okay, Su?” Yun Ho asked from across the table, flashing me a killer smile.

For a monster that beat his boyfriend for so little as talking to another man, Yun Ho sure was a big flirt.

“Yeah, fine,” I mumbled. Just thinking about you. Some nerve you have.

I checked my watch, noticing it had been almost ten minutes since Jae Joong left with Chang Min. I needed to go and find them, confront them about this before anyone got hurt. Hell, I was surprised Mr Overreact hadn’t gone to find them yet.

I put my pen down, standing up and excusing myself, saying I needed to go to the toilet. I walked swiftly out of the library, using the front entrance as it was closer to the toilet block.

I jogged around the side of the building, slowing down when I found what I was looking for.

Half of me felt happy and half of me scared as I watched Chang Min and Jae Joong leant against the side of the building, making out desperately.

I knew now that Chang Min loved him, he was such and emotional boy. He would never use someone. But I didn’t know about Jae...

I needed to confront them both. Along with the help of my trusty boyfriend of course...


We walked down the brightly lit suburban street, Yun Ho pointing out all the cars parked along the sides and saying how he didn’t realise so many people would be coming. We walked up the driveway hand-in-hand, already hearing the sound of rowdy people and the loud music booming from within the house.

“Don’t drink too much,” he added before pressing the doorbell. Like they would hear us over that racket. We stood for a moment though, and were greeted with a smiling Jun Su who ushered us in.

“Welcome, welcome!”

It was like walking into a wall of sound. Stereo blasting, people lounged about on the expensive looking sofas, some people dancing, others drinking and chatting. At least it wasn’t as out of hand as the parties I used to go to. Then again, that was high school; this was university. I let the thoughts go, shouting a “Hi!” to Jun Su and nodding at Yoo Chun who stood by the staircase talking to someone I didn’t recognise.

Yun Ho murmured something about going to get us drinks and I was left standing awkwardly in the middle of the rather large lounge room. It hit me then just how large this place was. I had noticed on our way down the street; this was a rich part of town. I almost laughed as I wondered if Yoo Chun’s parents knew we were all here.

I walked slowly down into the sunken lounge room, taking a seat at the far end of a stylish suede L-shaped lounge, trying not to get in anyone’s way. I sat humming along with the music, waiting for Yun Ho to come with a drink when I noticed Jun Su and Yoo Chun approaching, looking directly at me.

I smiled, waving to them as they stopped right in front of me.

“What’s up?”

“We need to talk to you, Jae.”

They each grabbed one of my arms, pulling me gently across the room and up the large set of stairs. I didn’t resist, just watched the rest of the party-goers look at us in amusement as we moved through the crowd.

We ended up in a large bedroom, one that I assumed to be Yoo Chun’s parents.

“Jae.” Yoo Chun said as he shut the door, looking over at Jun Su who nodded as he stood looking at me with his arms crossed.

“We need you to tell us the truth.”

Oh crap. What did they want? Couldn’t they just leave me alone... I wasn’t in the mood for serious discussion and if they wanted to talk about Yun Ho... I didn’t know if I could tell them the truth. I thought they knew? Did they have to put me through this?

“I...uh...what about?” I asked quietly, looking from Jun Su to Yoo Chun with a confused face.

Did they invite me here just to question me...? What were they going to think of me when they found out...?

I felt the nervousness rise in my stomach, that fearful uneasy feeling.
“It’s about Chang Min,” Jun Su said sternly, looking me straight in the eyes.

I let my gaze drop to the floor, taking a deep breath.

So this was about Chang Min and me? Not Yun Ho? That meant they knew something happened between Chang Min and I. How did they find out? Or maybe they didn’t know anything...

Just play dumb Jae Joong...

“What about Chang Min?” I asked just as quietly, looking up and seeing Yoo Chun with a smirk on his face and Jun Su not looking too happy.

“I saw you two kissing, Jae Joong. In broad daylight.” Jun Su said, holding out his hands as if to ...and so? Going to fill us in?

“I...we...uh...” I blushed, not feeling as scared as I should be, but the beat of my heart quickened anyway.

Jun Su saw us kissing the other day outside the library...oh god. I hadn’t wanted to do anything but talk but Chang Min...

“Yeah, he kissed me.” I said scratching the back of my neck nervously. “Got a problem with that?”

“No, but your boyfriend might.”

“Jae, we just don’t want to see you get hurt. In any way.” Yoo Chun said, stepping forward and putting his hands on my shoulders.

I could smell the alcohol on his breath and I wrinkled my nose in distaste. I hoped things didn’t get too out of hand tonight. I hated the things alcohol did to people.

He giggled slightly, keeping his hands on my shoulders but turning around to face his boyfriend.

“Hey hun, if JaeMin get together we could have some hot foursomes!”

I almost choked on the air I was breathing, pushing Yoo Chun away from me before taking a deep breath and laughing out loud. Jun Su just scowled for a moment, before flashing me a quick smile and slapping his boyfriend upside the head.

“Be careful, Jae.”

As the night wore on I became progressively more bored. I hardly drank at all, only having a beer or two that Yun Ho had offered me.

We danced a little, and I used needing to go to the toilet as an excuse to escape the noise and drunkenness of the party. I walked around the back halls of the large mansion, occasionally coming across a couple making out or a sad loner staring out the window at the moon.

After one lap of the house I realised how truly large it was, and just how many people were here. I wondered where Chang Min was. I hadn’t seen him since that afternoon when we made out. Well, more like he forced himself on me and I gave up and kissed back.

I sighed. Was this what I wanted?

I rounded a corner and found myself back by the large staircase that lead down to the lounge area of the house. I could hear the people down there being rowdy, some cheering and whooping. It sounded like they were all watching something.

I walked down the stairs slowly and noticed a small group of people crowded around the couch I had previously been sitting on, cheering and laughing, like they were egging someone on.

I didn’t have a good feeling about this.

I pushed through the crowd to see Yoo Chun and Jun Su furiously making out, tongues lapping and bodies grinding. I smirked, before Jun Su pulled away, and realised that it wasn’t Yoo Chun he had been kissing. I saw Yun Ho lick his lips, eyes full of lust as he leant in took Jun Su’s mouth again, groaning as he felt Yoo Chun’s hands climbing up his side.

I stood frozen as they practically had a threesome in the middle of the party, people just as drunk as them cheering them on, liking the action they saw.

I stood for about 5 seconds before turning around and walking slowly out of Yoo Chun’s house, not looking back.
Tags: pairing: jaemin, pairing: yoosu, pairing: yunjae, title: lovin' you, type: chaptered fic
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